1644 Whitehorse-Mercerville Road, Hamilton, NJ 08619
($2 Coors Light tonight)
Day 9 Statistics from TirNaNog, Hamilton:
We’ve made it to the final week of the TDDoC with a triumphant return to TirNaNog. We had been here last year and a good time was had by all. Well worth a return visit.
As I’m driving over on Kuser Road I have a police car come up from behind me with the rollers on. Is it possible to get pulled over for a DUI check while driving to the bar? I think about flooring it and seeing if I can outrun him but better judgment wins out and I find a place to pull over into a snow bank. He passes me and continues down the road. Another confrontation averted.
I enter TirNaNog and although there are many at the bar but I see no one familiar. Further in the back we find Dorian, Sharon H., G-Man and Su sitting at a table. Dorian had been the first to arrive and for some reason made a “Why?” call to Eman. Apparently he doesn’t know that Eman is at Disney World with no intention of drinking any beer. Eman does text back and is ramroding the location for the next night through one of his puppets. The regulars slowly file in: Mosso, REBECCA, Scugi, Tamps, Cole, Ska, Benny, Yo, Alba and Mertz. Mertz can only stay for a short time and but he does earn a point. Gotta respect the dedication. Gman puts Benny to the test to estabish his credentials for Comeback TDDoCer (more on that later). Benny is asked to name all the other TDDoCers which he does with ease. He does skip the ladies since it is a given that he knows them. Benny played little league baseball with one of the inebriated Irish gents at the bar. Apparently Benny was a good hitter and known as Benji the Bat. Later in the evening this same guy is arm wrestling a cousin on the bar. Finally on the ninth day we witness a feat of strength. Now if we could only have a foot race. Benny’s friend does win the arm wrestling match. Now this drunken Mick said he was leaving three or four times before telling us he was on his way to the movie Avatar.
Milot, D-mile and Rose arrive a little later. Milot had made it to all previous eight nights, one of the remaining six to have perfect attendance. Can he make it to the end? Last year at TirNaNog the TDDoCers far outnumbered the pub regulars. This year the pub regulars were in far greater numbers since it was Monday Night Football night. The other New York football team was playing the Washington Redskins. The game had little meaning since the Redskins are already eliminated and the Giants are soon to be. It did have fantasy football implications as Ska’s team was playing Tamps’ team in the FFFL playoffs.
As the end of 2009 TDDoC approaches the awards are discussed. The awards to be presented include; Rookie of the Year (ROY), the Coveted Purple Moose Award (most valuable drunk), and Comeback TDDoCer. The ROY battle continues and is expected to continue to the end of 2009. As Yogi Berra said “It ain’t over until it’s over”. Benny (Benji) seems to be a shoe in for Comeback TDDoCer. The qualifications for Coveted Purple Moose Award are passionately argued. Is it the person who drank the most over the 12 days? Or is it the person who tried to drink 12 nights worth of booze in one night? Or is it the person who had to be driven home on one or multiple days? Or perhaps it’s the one who shouldn’t have driven home at all. The race for the Coveted Purple Moose Award is wide open and there are plenty of opportunities for anyone to win it. The $2 Coors Lights tonight should help.
TirNaNog is a drinking bar. There shall be no food, dance contests or @$$offs tonight. Someone asks the barkeep if they serve food. He says no, “We don’t serve food here, but we do have menus if you’d like to order something”. Apparently, this is where the management from Santino’s got the idea of taking food orders with no intention of ever serving anything. I guess the menus were for local food delivery places.
What is with the Irish pubs this year? After tomorrow it will be 4 of the 12 nights, 33% or as Ska likes to say 1/3. As far as I can tell none of the members of the steering committee are Irish but there does seem to be some sort of attraction to the Irish culture. Perhaps it is the whiskey. “Does whiskey count as beer?”. Actually there are reports that Ireland had a utopia society in the early part of the last millennium. It may have been the greatest civilization in human history far greater than the Phoenicians, the Greeks and the Romans. They had developed endless clean energy sources, flying cars, etc. All the dreams of the future. Then one of their most brilliant scientists invented a new beverage called “Whiskey” which he introduced to his colleagues. After a few swigs of the new beverage the scientists broke out into a massive fight and their society plunged into the Ireland we all know today. OK, so I stole this from the Family Guy but there wasn’t much to work with from last night. We do like our Irish Pubs.
The battle over who will write the stats for TDDoC continues. I often wonder if you had an infinite amount of monkeys working on an infinite amount of computers would the stats get written. The answer is of course NO, especially if one of those monkeys happens to be named CPL. The CPL monkey would likely disrupt all the other monkeys keeping them from getting their work done. Goettle points out that one of the TDDoC regulars has not written stats this year. This unnamed regular quickly points out that some of the other regulars have not written this year either, throwing them all under the bus. Word to the wise, if you’re ever running from the police with this unnamed regular and he/she get nabs then you might as well just quit running and turn yourself in too. He’ll be singing to the cops like a jaybird about you too.
Noticeably Absent: Eman, Bobo, CPL, Goettle, Glen Burtnick and many others
Day 9 - Tir Na Nog stats by Mosso
Adrian 1
Alba 6
Alli 1
Amin (Jana Friend) 1
Andrew 5
Angela (Benny friend) 1
Art Nuefeld 1
Benny 6
BIG LOU 2
Billionaire Pat Worth 3
Bobo 3
Bode 2
Brandy 1
Brett S 1
Bubba 2
Buttercup (PB ¬ for Princess Bride) 1
Celeste 2
Chaty 4
Chaty¹s friend Steve 2
Chaty¹s wife 1
Cheryl 5
Christine S (C-Sel) 2
Chuck D 1
Cole Howard 9
Cory Mertz 1
CPL (Crack Pipe Larry) 2
Dave (Felicia¹s husband) 2
Dmile 6
Donna 2
Dorian 3
Ed (Kimchick friend) 1
Eman 7
Eric T 1
Erin (Kimchick friend) 3
Felicia 6
German Michael 3
Gman 9
Goettle 3
Hans 1
Harry 1
Heather C 2
Heather S 1
Jason 1
Jerry (Mertz friend) 1
Joe (Yo's friend) 1
John W 1
Julian 4
Julie Nuefeld 1
Kaden 1
Katherine 2
Kimchick 7
Laura 2
Lisa Eman 5
Lori (Cole Wife) 1
Maria (the Swede) 1
Mark P (x-S/A guy) 1
Martha 1
Mertz 3
Milot 9
Mindy 1
Mosso 9
Mrs. Scugi 1
Norm 1
Pam Toft 1
Pods 5
Polo 2
Randy 4
Randy¹s Coworker from Jacksonville 1
REBECCA 8
Reese 3
Rich Toft 1
Rose 2
Sandor 2
Scugi 9
Sharon A 2
Sharon H 3
Ska 7
Su 9
Tamps 8
Trent Eman 4
Tytla 2
Webster (The general) 2
Will T 1
Yvette 1
Yo 8
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