Day 3 location: Tigers Tale 1290 Route 206 North, Montgomery, NJ
Pro tip: Highly suggest NOT taking Route 206 to get there during rush hour. Take Great Road to 518, or Rt 1 to Ridge Road to 518.
This long-standing establishment in the heart of NJ’s Pod's Exclusion Zone (NJPEZ) has been popular for decades with lesbian soccer moms, drunken pilots, and unemployed choir singers. The decor features poltergeists, mandolins, a stuck-up puppy who will ignore you, and of course, their signature drink the Violent Chicken (make sure you have them "bruise your banana").
Day 2 Stats
Slocums Bowl-o-Rama.
The name itself evokes images of a time gone by, when the hip thing to do was to go down to the Bowl-o-Rama to slay some pins and drink a malted with the girl or guy you were going steady with. And time, it has passed Slocums by. It appears that everything is either original or hasn’t been replaced since the early 80s, and the walls are so thick that cellphones don’t work and no one can hear you scream.
There are appealing things to Slocums: the cotton candy smelling and immaculate women’s rooms, the high male to female ratio (calculated at 12:1 at one point in the evening), and that while the lone bartender may take 20 minutes to get you a drink when there are only 5 people in the bar - they just might forget to ring it up and charge you for it. And of course - the cash drawer that is wide open all night. Seriously, I’m shocked that someone hasn’t hit Slocum’s and its easy cash and blackberry brandy stash.
I walk in and see Scugi sitting on a bar stool, furiously trying to get a signal on his phone to email his WHYYYYY. I eventually get a drink, and then the Eastman crew rolls in. There is much discussion of the stuffed sandwiches on the menu, and which one is the “healthier” one to get. Another fun fact about Slocums: the bartender refuses to touch food. He will go and fetch a waitress to deal with such things. I personally think he’s a vampire and is afraid of the garlic that may be in the stuffed sandwiches (which may explain why no one has ever ventured near the open register) - but really, if there’s going to be a vampire in a bar, it needs to be Eric Northman.
Tamp arrives, and takes the end seat at the bar, just as Gman and Eman’s food arrives and they go sit at a real plastic table to enjoy their abundance of sandwiches. Discussion at the bar turns to Frankenstorm survival tales. Scugi tries to convince us that he single handedly lifted 3 downed telephone poles to exit his street and then chopped them all up for firewood to use in his woodstove. This of course leads to a detailed discussion of The Walking Dead and how to survive the zombie apocalypse.
Yo, Rose, and Ska arrive, and talk turns to Football - how awful this weekend was, and how everyone’s fantasy teams are tanked. We thought we spotted CPL, but after some investigation realized we had mistaken the back of his head for a bowling ball. Possibly the result of drinking too much bottom shelve liquor. Pods, Celeste, and David arrive and we’ve reached the maximum number of TDDOCers for the evening.
David, Pods, and Yo notice that one of the two working tvs (the other four are purely decorative) is showing WWE female wrestling. Their eyes got wider as they leaned closer to the “soft glow of electric sex”# similar to my old man and the leg lamp, mouths opening and panting as a little drool escaped, taking delight in viewing entertainment they wouldn’t dare to at home. They then start extolling the athletic skill of the female wrestlers, and how authentic the fights are, protesting loudly that there is any choreography prior to the match. Suuuuuure fellas (I was more entertained by the men in plaid pants).
Sophia arrives, in time for one drink before our group decides to pack it in, as Celeste and I were greatly disappointed that while the women’s bathroom is still the cleanest we’ll likely find during the 12 days, it did not smell like cotton candy anymore.
Totals through Day 2
Day 1 Day 2
Rho Slocum's
Stats by Eman Stats by Reese Total
Alba x 1
Andrew (Gman) x x 2
Andrew (Woo!-boy) x 1
Arounkone x 1
Art Neufeld x 1
Billy Bob x 1
Bobo x 1
Celeste x 1
Cheryl Cohen x 1
Chris Straka (The Scarf) x 1
Dana (Lisa E. coworker) x 1
Dave (Celeste BF) x 1
Donna (Julie N. friend) x 1
Donny Walker x 1
Eman x x 2
Frank Kimchick x 1
Gman x x 2
Goettle x 1
Janelle Young x 1
Jay Wahl x 1
Jenna Walker x 1
Joan (Rebecca friend) x 1
Julian x x 2
Julie Nuefeld x 1
Katherine x 1
Laura (biker chick) x 1
Lisa Eman x x 2
Lisa Walker x 1
Lin (Rebecca friend) x 1
Mandala Brown x 1
Mertz x 1
Mosso x 1
Norine (Lisa E. coworker0 x 1
Pat Worth x 1
Rebecca x 1
Pods x x 2
Reese x x 2
Rich (Laura BF) x 1
Rita x 1
Rose x x 2
Sandor x 1
Scugi x x 2
Sharon Ang (Crazian) x 1
Shawn (Reese friend) x 1
Ska x x 2
Sophia x x 2
Su x x 2
Tamp x x 2
The Mechanic x 1
Trent Eman x x 2
Val (Rebecca friend) x 1
Will T x 1
Yo x x 2
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