Post TDDoC Awards for 2006

One man's view. Feel free to add or dispute! Airing of grievances encouraged.



Most Valuable Drinker – Geottle and Scugi. Undefeated. Of course, his name is really spelled Goettle, and he did dispose of much of his competition by strategically holding Day 3 at a location (Tiger's Tale) that would discourage most of the state of New Jersey from getting there in a drive of less than 2 hours.

Heroic Sacrifice Award for Not Killing Mate or Significant Other During the TDDoC - Su, Lisa Eman, Mary T., Mrs. Scugi, Yvette, etc.

Most Valuable Female Drinker - Donna. Lots of participation points, and lots of use of alcohol in new and unusual ways.

Recruiter Award: Big Al - She did drag in a litany of new participants (Big Al Pat, Sonya, Alice, Whitney, Guffar, assorted other Big Al buddies). The only problem is that most of these people are just as old as the rest of us and we'll all be looking mighty silly sitting around together in a bar at age 80. We need to bring in some young blood.

"Why Do I Have to Hang Out With My Dad In A Bar?" Award - Cory, Julian, Trent, Corry, Jeff, (Keith help me here)

Rookie of the Year – A healthy competition this year between OJ Mark and Big Al's Pat. Of course, his name is actually spelled OJ Marc, but he confides that he's only been called Marc once in his life, and even his family calls him "Chaty". OJ Marc is the winner by a nose! Also strong competition from Stu and Crack Pipe Larry's business card.

Best Night to be a Woman, Or A Man of Alternate Lifestyles - Day 10 at McGuinn's. It's not like cb's, where it's a bunch of old men....it's just amazing though how a male to female ratio of 71-1 could be maintained.

"Slappa the @ss Award" - (tie) Gman and Buffy. Gman put on a great performance on Day 1 demonstrating what he'd be doing to Goettle's hindquarters in the event they ever found themselves spending time together alone with a saddle in a prison cell. An unsuspecting Tamps was the recipient of the same demonstration by Buffy on Day 7. Nice job, guys. You really look like you know what you're doing in that activity. (Yikes).

The "We Should Have Gone There But We Didn't" Award - Isaac Newton's, Savoy's, North Brunswick Pub, New Brunswick Pub Crawl, Chevy's, TGIFriday's. It doesn't mean it was any better at any of those places.....but your imagination falsely leads you to think that it was.

First to Successfully Crack the Gman "No Points Allowed Unless You're Actually There" Rule – Dorian, Milot, and Tony Giacobbe for attending the West Coast TDDoC, writing stats, calling in to the East Coast, AND calling out the participants for their pathetic lack of understanding of TDDoC history (as evidenced by them not knowing who Czyz is). These youngsters today!!

Myth Busters Award - Dorian and Milot for their dogged pursuit of the "Story Behind the Music" on the west coast and their defrocking of that silliness.

Queen of Alternative Liquors – Donna. Shots of brandy on Day 11 and double-fisted with tequila on Day 1. Whoever heard of doing shots of brandy? 'Nuff said.

The "This Band Really Blows" Award - (tie) Day 2 at Havana and Day 7 at the place in Princeton that used to be the Annex. Probably the nod should go to the Havana band for the repeated "This is supposed to be reggae?" questions.

Most WHY calls – Kimchick. Undefeated streak continues. Heck, I got one from him while standing in Sea World in Orlando.

The "Damn, I Almost Beat Crack Pipe Larry" Award - Blair. You had that healthy one point lead until CPL tricked you and showed up on Days 11 and 12 to whoop your @ss

Getting the Bartender to Drink Award - Buffy, for getting the ex-Annex bartender to try his Yuengling/Smuttynose beer mix. I think she really digs him.

The "No, Dad, Don't....Please....This Is Really Embarrassing" Award - Mertz for subjecting his 4 children to a picture with his old man drinking buddies Ska and Eman.

Looking Towards Next Year With a Bullet: Crack Pipe Larry, presently riding a two-game winning streak.

The "The TDDoC Is Really Really Lame but I'm Coming Back Again Tomorrow" Award - Some guy named Lou.

The Crack Pipe Larry Award for showing up only once despite luring people in from Connecticut with promises of letting them throw a drink in his face – Kaden.

The "Got off Your @ss and Got a Point" Award after a long absence: Tmac, Illman, The Swede, Yo, Adrienne, Chorba. Good to see you back.

Noticeably Absent – Pods, Alli, Mindy, Bill Hart, The OD, Lauren, Anna, Czyz, Will, West Coast Julie, Judd…..yeah, some of you live really far away, but if Tamps and Ska had just completed the drinking channel........

Day 11 stats

Day 12: The same as Day 12 every year, will be at Conte's in Princeton at Noon


So there we were. at the scene of the crime. last year's crime. would it be repeated? that was the first question to be answered. 2nd question was how would she look?

Day 11 - I guess really it's Night 11, since we seem to be doing all of these drinking things after dark. We gathered at the Yankee Doodle Tap Room in the heart of Princeton. The guest of honor, the always lovely, the very talented, Miss Polo, was there wearing a fabulous red sweater with navy blue slacks and a tiara. Not the least bit intimidated by last year's "incident", she was bubbly, friendly, proudly introducing the night's TDDoC participants to her work colleagues. Miss Polo holds a special place in our collective heart - she stood by us back when the rest of the world sneered at this crazy endeavor, she encouraged us to persevere despite the brutal odds. "Endeavor to persevere" she sould say to us each nite. And we did.

We were honored by a new attendee to the 2006 season, probably because he was 100% sure it was safe to come out - maybe because he knew Polo and Arlene the Pit Bull would be there to protect him if anything should go wrong - CPL (Crack Pipe Larry) made his debut , and though he's no Polo when it comes to fashion sense or looks or table manners, we were all glad his mom let him out of the house for even a brief amount of time. Also in attendance were Ska, Eman, Scugi, Goettle, Neufeld, BIG AL, OJ's Brother Marc, and Mr. Mertz & family.

There were also several thousand of Polo's closest friends and fans, and the lack of room here prevents me from naming them all. They were a diverse group that included the thought-to-be-extinct Evolutionary Psychologist, who just completed the greatest PhD thesis of all time - the topic was kissing. And it wasn't just re-hash of common kissing theory, it also covered heretofore unexplored areas like what do if you get caught kissing your wife's best friend or making out with the family dog. To complete the 1500 page tome, she had to kiss thousands of men and women and ass. We can't wait for the movie - especially the parts that have the hot lesbo action.

Mertz arrived rather late to the scene, and yes, Mertz, you do get a point for your late, but graceful and gallant entry onto the scene, and so do the kids you obviously rented for the evening. The kids are all good-looking & intelligent, just the way Mr. Mertz might be if he wasn't the way he was. And Mr. Mertz got his money's worth for the evening, as the kids did a fantastic job of feigning excitement over having their photos taken with Papa Mertz, Ska, and Eman. Sure the excitement was a bit obscured by the desperate utterings of "I'm in teenage hell - my dad's friends have just come over to the table and now there are these 3 dorks around me and one has a camera and my friends are gonna come by any second and ridicule me 'til I'm 35. If only I could melt into these chairs or become invisible." Now, that's what the younger people heard; however to the older folks it sounded like the kids were saying "please, take more photos" and "I wanna be next to daddy in the picture" and "Dad, your friends are almost as cool as Fonzie, ayyyyyyyyyy."

It was time to wrap things up at the Tap Room and head over to Katmandu, where there were plenty of silicone sisters with manager misters. Yes, for the 2nd year in a row, the theme at Katmandu was "breasts on dispay - good or bad?" In attendance to help with the decision-making were Dorian, Donna, Janna and friend, Sage, perennial fan-favorite and ladies' man, BIG LOU, Tamp, Ska, Eman, Goettle, and Yo and wife, Adrienne (the star in Rocky, Rocky 2, Rocky 3, Rocky 4, and Rocky 5 - haven't seen the latest one, so you'll have to ask her yourself if she was in it). I think a lot of us thought that it wasn't such a bad theme. Sure there could be improvements, but that's what plastic surgery is for.

A lot of us are bit worn out by this year's shenanigins, so there's not much to tell about the Kat. Our bartender was not very attentive, but I think she was only 15 years old - must be off from school today. Donna and Goettle were trying to come up with a good X-mas shot but to no avail. It was Bud Light nite at the Kat, where you could trade poker chips for Bud Light in an Aluminum Bottle? Yes, the only thing keeping Bud Light from winning the grand prize at the Great American Beer Tasting Contest was its hokey bottle. I think they should fire Moe, Larry, Curly, or whoever is running Anheuser Busch. Why can't they make a beer that DOESN"T SUCK SO MUCH?

Here are some helper stats from Scugi:


CPL comes to my desk and 4 pm and says, "lets go" all off a sudden on day 11 the urge has hit him. CPL to mac machine, scugi to gas station and we are off. Parking easy and we are at bar and served by 4:15 pm, glorius, CPL is finally able to come across, little does he know that Marissa the mad kisser will be in attendance. Seems Polo's friend has just completed PHD in evolutionary psychology and her thesis was in kissing. She has kissed and studied over 1600 men and woman and CPL is figuring he is next, she did have nice lips. If I could have gotten just a little drunker I am sure we could have found out the origin of oral sex but we might need to save that for TDDoC 07


Well that's all for now folks. See you at Conte's.


Scoring through 9 Days:

Ska 10
Rose 4
E-man 9
Bobo 4
Sir Nicholas of Bobo 1
G-man 8
Scugi 11
Tamp 10
Kaden 1
Tool 1
Goettle 11
Mertz 4
4 Mertz Angels 1 point each
Yo 4
Adrienne (Mrs Yo) 2
BB 2
Buffy 1
TMAC 1
The Other Joe (OJ) 4
The Other Joe’s Brother (OJ Mark) 8
The Swede 2
Dorian 6 (+1*)
Donna 9
Billionaire Pat Worth 3
BIG LOU 10
M. Taddei 1
Su 4
Cory 2
Julian 2
Lisa Eman 1
Trent 1
Kimchick 5
Cheryl 2
MD 4
Larry Not Crack Pipe (LNCP) 3
Mel 4
Jeff 1
Stu 6
Randy 2
Laura 4
Katherine 1
Arunkone 1
BIG AL 8
Megan 1
Sonya 3
Guffar 1
Tytla 2
Uji 1
Rob (not Bob) 1
Porsche Linda 1
Milot 3 (+1*)
Neufeld 3
East Coast Julie 1
Blair 1
Tony Giacobbe (1*)
Roy O 2
Maria Scugi 2
Curt 1
Bennie 1
Big Al’s Pat 6
Alyssa 1
DMilot 3
Colleen 3
Janna 3
Sage 1
Robin 1
Polo 2
Illman 1
Illman friend Beth 1
Yvette 3
Danielle 1
assorted other Big Al friends 1
Crack Pipe Larry 1
Crack Pipe Larry's Business Card 4
Erin the Red & White 1

Day 10 stats

I haven't read all the banter on proposed Day 11 locations.....there is an assignment below based on discussion last night although I'm not sure anyone is totally in love with it. Let the mayhem ensue!!!!


Day 10 TDDoC – McGuinn’s aka: Sausage Fest ’06 aka: The Blue Oyster

Since Hotmail won't let OJ Marc send out to more than 50 people, I'm posting this for him.

First note: Ladies, you missed a good night. You had your pick of the litter if you wanted to take one for the team and score a Holiday Yule-tide Hook Up. I use the term “litter” because, as bad as this sounds, Scugi was the best looking guy in the joint.

Second note: Since it was such a bad turn out, I was going to make stuff up and make all you who missed it jealous, but, truth is sometimes more fun than fiction.

On to the stats!

Remembering the debacle that was the early evening of Fezziwigs where no one showed up, I decided to “practice” at CB’s with The OJ (who doesn’t get a point). Besides, I had to say Merry Christmas to my ladies there.

I arrive on seen in scenic, historic Lawrence to find E-man, Scugi, and Mertz sitting at the bar. Scugi proceeds to tell me that before I came in there were a lot of women across the bar screaming “Fudge It!” at the top of their lungs. (except he didn’t say fudge, he said the mother of all curse words). OK, cool, that sounded like fun. I look around, there’s the woman bartender, I’ll call her Steve, and one other lady yapping with her boyfriend. Things aren’t looking good here. But, the night is young, and I keep my hopes up.

Big Lou shows up and Scugi tells him that there were 4 females across the bar screaming “Fudge It!” at the top of their lungs. (except he didn’t say fudge, he said the mother of all curse words.)

As the night went on and more and more TDDoC-ers showed up. Actually, it was a pretty pathetic turn out, more and more dudes came to this place.
Big Al and Big Al’s Pat show up. Scugi tells them that there were 4 females across the bar screaming “Fudge It!” at the top of their lungs. (except he didn’t say fudge, he said the mother of all curse words.)

I was beginning to wonder whether or not we were in a gay bar. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) To further add proof, some girl and her girlfriend show up for a beer then leave. Because if we were in one, I was upset that Dorian wasn’t there with his assless chaps. But I realized that this couldn’t be that type of establishment, because certainly CPL would be here. (Yeah that’s right, I’m callin’ you out. Don’t know you, but, I’m joining everyone and riding the “Rip on CPL” Train to You-suck-ville)

You ever walk in on the wrong part of the conversation? And sometimes it’s not the wrong part of the conversation because you’re the one writing the stats for the next morning. I overheard the following as the felatio-ratio was quickly taking a turn for the worst:

E-man: there sure are a lot of c-cks
Goetle: I like that. The more c-cks the better. I win!

Laura shows up and wants to do a shot. Scugi tells her, that earlier there were 4 woman across the bar screaming “Fudge It!” at the top of their lungs. (except he didn’t say fudge, he said the mother of all curse words.) Alright! A woman doing a shot, haven’t seen that kind of dedication since Donna walked in on Day 1 and ordered a Guiness and a shot of Tequilla. (That’ll put some hair on your chest. Bad for her, good for me). Then I hear someone, I won’t mention anyone’s name, Goetle, mutter the word… “schnapps” SCHNAPPS? Are you kidding me? No man can do a shot of schnapps. “Hey Goettle, what do you scratch when you play baseball?” Well, it is the Christmas season (and we are in a gay bar), and they wanted to do something festive, so, a shot of something is poured, and then added to it is something red. Cheers!

Scugi has now had quiet a bit to drink and is now talking to the woman’s picture on the video juke box and telling her that earlier there were 4 woman across the bar screaming “Fudge It!” at the top of their lungs. (except he didn’t say fudge, he said the mother of all curse words.)

Now, I’m standing there, eating Big Al’s food (she offered it, if it’s free, it’s for me), I look around to count the number of actual women (and I use this term loosely) in the joint. There’s the gimpy girl next to her friend, the c-ck blocker (2), the girl (1) with her boyfriend , and next to them is a girl (1) with her friendboy. I notice that they opened up the other bar on the other side of the pool tables. Over there is a female, cute little white girl (1) who brought with her someone who’s main purpose is to piss off her father. And also someone who I couldn’t figure out from this distance if it was a dude or a chick. I’m going with chick (1), just to up the ratio. And let’s not forget about Steve (1). Oh wait, Steve just left (-1).

I’m not trying to call anyone out, but, since there are now 2 people in the running to get all 12 Days in, Scugi and Goettle, I think Scugi was plotting a way of getting MaryAnn’s chicken into Goettle's lunch on Day 11.

I was told that the guy who writes the stats picks where we’re going next, I’ve decided Newark, Delaware. (See what happens when you give power to the wrong person.) And for those who can’t make it down there, we’re doing Kat Man Du instead. Hopefully there will be a better felatio-ratio there.

Third note: There was discussion of Rookie of the Year, and I think it was determined, hands down, with out a doubt, that Crack Pipe Larry’s Business Card will win it.

Fourth note: I should have went to Tir Na Nog


Drunken and Disorderly,
The OJ Marc

Scugi addendum stats:
Scugi first in, 10-12 people at other side of bar, much screaming and yelling going on. The most popular word is the F word, I now know we can not possibly get throw out for "language" reasons. To get out of the way I take my beer and go rack up the balls on table 2. I decide to really kill time by only shooting and combination shots but this idea fails, I practically run the table. Ok, back to the bar, the chicks are still screamin F at the top of their lungs, then bango, they all bail. They were all just "stop and go's", the bar goes silent, I order the chicken quesidilla and Mertz' strolls in and steps up to the bar. He proceeds to tell me how he thinks he may have to much life insurance as he believes Maryanne tried to "Litenvenko" him with some old chicken, come now, Mertz could get the best of a brown bear, how could a little old chicken hurt him.

E's next in, fresh off his trip to see Mickey and friends in Fla, even in the poor light of McGuiness it is easy to see how two days in the sun can change one's pallor. Tales of tasting all of AB's (Anhesier Busch) finest roll off of his tongue as if God himself brewed this beverage, yeah right. OJ Mark is next clinching his MVP for season 10, great rookie, just drinks and talks, what more could the TDDoC want.

Finishers

Stop at Tir-Na-Nog brings back great memories of the one time on got drunk there waiting for Maria to get out of surgery, convivial crowd, just big al, big al's pat, big lou and scugi. Big Al had some friends there who shall remain nameless (and pointless), 2 man Irish band, one and out for scugi


mertz
e
ojmark
big lou
big al
big al's pat
laura
goettle




Ska 9
Rose 4
E-man 8
Bobo 4
Sir Nicholas of Bobo 1
G-man 8
Scugi 10
Tamp 9
Kaden 1
Tool 1
Goettle 10
Mertz 2
Yo 3
Adrienne (Mrs Yo) 1
BB 2
Buffy 1
TMAC 1
The Other Joe (OJ) 4
The Other Joe’s Brother (OJ Marc) 7
The Swede 2
Dorian 5 (+1*)
Donna 8
Billionaire Pat Worth 3
BIG LOU 9
M. Taddei 1
Su 4
Cory 2
Julian 2
Lisa Eman 1
Trent 1
Kimchick 5
Cheryl 2
MD 4
Larry Not Crack Pipe (LNCP) 3
Mel 4
Jeff 1
Stu 6
Randy 2
Laura 4
Katherine 1
Arunkone 1
BIG AL 7
Megan 1
Sonya 3
Guffar 1
Tytla 2
Uji 1
Rob (not Bob) 1
Porsche Linda 1
Milot 3 (+1*)
Neufeld 2
East Coast Julie 1
Blair 1
Tony Giacobbe (1*)
Roy O 2
Maria Scugi 2
Curt 1
Bennie 1
Big Al’s Pat 6
Alyssa 1
DMilot 3
Colleen 3
Janna 2
Robin 1
Polo 1
Illman 1
Illman friend Beth 1
Yvette 3
Danielle 1
assorted other Big Al friends 1
Crack Pipe Larry 0
Crack Pipe Larry's Business Card 3

* Debatably legitimate/Illegitimate WC point transferred to EC

Day 9 stats

The Day 10 TDDoC will be held at MCGuinn’s which is on Brunswick Pike (Business Rt 1). Nice Irish bar with a DJ tonight! You can link to their website: http://www.mcguinns.com/specials.myt?day=wednesday

Day 9 at Fezziwigs:

I was surprised to walk in to Fezziwigs at 6:45pm and discover there were only three TDDoCers there. The OJ Mark, Scugi, and Donna. I am not sure if there was ever a TDDoC event at Fezziwigs so I was surprised it was so lowly attended at 7pm. However participants came in one or two at a time but left at almost the same pace. In walked Goettle, Ska, Tamps, (you can always count on those guys) and Mrs. Goettle, Big Al and her Pat, Yo (with no Adrienne), Stu, Colleen, and Erin the Red and White, who has been spotted at the Big Fish with Big Al in the off season. Donna told me that Dorian is in San Fran and planning to go out to a bar in his assless chaps biker pants with the West Coast TDDoC. Those gay West Coasters! Eman was rumored to be in route and show up after 10pm along with Bobo.

Suddenly OJ Mark left and his brother OJ replaced him. I think they are the same person! But there was No MD, No Mel no Kimchick, no Cheryl, no Billionaire Pat Worth, No CPL (thats a shock!) However CPL’s card was there last night and it will get another point. Big Als Pat noticed that less and less women seem to show up as the days go on. Something was not right. Something is awry! IT’S FEZZIWIG”S REVENGE! You know the story… He gave Scrooge and his pal Marle nice jobs at his place in their youth and Scrooge and his partner left him stole all his business and then put out him out on the street! Fezziwig is not a happy man around Christmas! People do not seem really full of the Christmas spirit at the bar. Probably all related to Fezziwig! One bartender had scary eyes and the other had no interest in knowing why we were there. Now I know why we never went there. The Christmas spirit is lacking! But the Nottingham Tavern (“NT) is right down the street! Ska had told us earlier there was a big cardboard sign on the boarded up window at “NT” that said $2 a beer on Tuesday NOOOOOOOOOO! I won’t go!

I was about to leave and these two scary women were asking where we were going tomorrow night. I think it was a dykasaurus and her significant other. They were demanding to know here and we said we don’t know yet. The two leave and Ska says “Man would that have been great to have them there tomorrow night!” I agree. We blew it! We should have at least told them the Nottingham Tavern! Eman called Ska and told him he would not make it. What happened to Bobo? Maybe couldn’t pass up NTs?

Had some interesting discussion about being a boy toy verses a girl toy. Big Al got totally confused and could not decide what was better. She’ s great!

Also Yo was telling us about going to see the holy tablets in left field for all the past great Yankees. I think it was Goettle who said he once was in church with Joe DiMaggio. I find that hard to believe that Goettle was in church! I told my story about meeting Yogi Berra and my own personal Yogism moment I had with him. Too long to tell here.

My final comment is: Should Gman’s get well card get a point?


Scoring through 9 Days:
Ska 9
Rose 4
E-man 7
Bobo 4
Sir Nicholas of Bobo 1
G-man 8
Scugi 9
Tamp 9
Kaden 1
Tool 1
Goettle 9
Mertz 2
Yo 3
Adrienne (Mrs Yo) 1
BB 1
Buffy 1
TMAC 1
The Other Joe (OJ) 3
The Other Joe’s Brother (OJ Mark) 6
The Swede 2
Dorian 5 (+1*)
Donna 8
Billionaire Pat Worth 3
BIG LOU 8
M. Taddei 1
Su 4
Cory 2
Julian 2
Lisa Eman 1
Trent 1
Kimchick 5
Cheryl 2
MD 4
Larry Not Crack Pipe (LNCP) 3
Mel 4
Jeff 1
Stu 6
Randy 2
Laura 3
Katherine 1
Arunkone 1
BIG AL 6
Megan 1
Sonya 3
Guffar 1
Tytla 2
Uji 1
Rob (not Bob) 1
Porsche Linda 1
Milot 3 (+1*)
Neufeld 2
East Coast Julie 1
Blair 1
Tony Giacobbe (1*)
Roy O 2
Maria Scugi 1
Curt 1
Bennie 1
Big Al’s Pat 5
Alyssa 1
DMilot 3
Colleen 3
Janna 2
Robin 1
Polo 1
Illman 1
Illman friend Beth 1
Yvette 3
Danielle 1
assorted other Big Al friends 1
Crack Pipe Larry 0
Crack Pipe Larry's Business Card 3
Erin the Red and White 1

Day 8 stats

Day 9 will be at Fezziwig's instead of at the Nottingham Tavern.   Unless, of course, someone has a better idea.  These places are close enough to walk to however.

Fezziwig's Warehouse Grill
1215 Highway 33
(609) 588-8200

Day 8 Statistic:

Day 8 was held at Jo-Jo's Tavern and Pizza in Hamilton.   I was really happy to hear this was going to be the case because when I left work I was really hungry.  And I love pizza.  In fact, I would eat exclusively pizza if that were possible.  Yes folks, I am a pizzaterian.  It is a tough row to hoe, but I am the guy.  There is even a 12-step program that I attempted once to become a recovering pizzaholic.   But at step three, I said eff this and ordered a large with onions and sausage from Sal's.

Did I tell you that Jo-Jo's has great pizza?  Well I won't because, I shouldn't need to tell you such things.   Did I tell you that CPL is a horse's arse?  Well, I don't care if I told you already (Day 1), I'm saying it again.  Crack Pipe Larry is a horse's arse.   This is Day 8 already and CPL has a big goose egg.   Rumor has it that folks have been passing around his business card.  In fact CPL's business card may have two points already and is threatening to pass CPL's all time numbers.

The simple fact that CPL is a horse's hiney, did not detract from the stellar response to the Jo-Jo's meeting.   And Jo-Jo's is has attempted some improvements.  You're thinking they sped up the service a little?  Not a chance.  Forced that old guy behind the bar to wash his hands?  No way; that could change the taste of the pizza.  Using toilette paper that doesn't feel like industrial grade sandpaper?  C'mon.  They have installed a new state of the art air cleaning system.  What might be this new system:  Smoking is no longer allowed at Jo-Jo's.  Welcome to the new millennia.

Jo-Jo's was packed.  Packed like CPL's arse at the backstage party after George Michael concert.  So much so there weren't enough seats and the crowd was feeling a little claustrophobic.  Luckily they have an endless supply of tasty pizza and tap beer that wasn't flat.  Another things in ample supply at Jo-Jo's:  Women.   Apparently, the ladies in the greater Trenton area like clear air and good pizza.  No word on how they feel about CPL.  

I think the 12-day fatigue is finally setting in on the players.  No one feels strongly on where Day 9 should be.  I remember fights, foot races, and ranting.  This year it's just, "I don't know" and shoulder shrug.  We suck.  And Hawker is right:  Where are the antics?  That's it.  Tonight, I'm gonna lick someone on the face and start a fire in the parking lot.

So it's Fezziwig's unless you want to challenge me to a foot race.  Go ahead;  make my day.

In a related story, the TDDoC front office has place Gman on injured reserve.  Tom Hawker, spokesman for the TDDoC, said, "Gman shouldn't be attending any more Days this year due to his injury, but knowing him, he will probably show up anyway.  Let's face it, Gman is no CPL.  That guy is a real horse's arse."


Scoring through 8 Days:
Ska   8
Rose 4
E-man 7
Bobo 4
Sir Nicholas of Bobo 1
G-man 8
Scugi 8
Tamp 8
Kaden 1
Tool 1
Goettle 8
Mertz 2
Yo 2
Adrienne (Mrs Yo) 1
BB 1
Buffy 1
TMAC 1
The Other Joe (OJ) 3
The Other Joe’s Brother (OJ Mark) 5
The Swede 2
Dorian 5 (+1*)
Donna 7
Billionaire Pat Worth 3
BIG LOU 7
M. Taddei 1
Su 4
Cory 2
Julian 2
Lisa Eman 1
Trent 1
Kimchick 5
Cheryl 2
MD 4
Larry Not Crack Pipe (LNCP) 3
Mel 4
Jeff 1
Stu 5
Randy 2
Laura 4
Katherine 1
Arunkone 1
BIG AL 5
Megan 1
Sonya 3
Guffar 1
Tytla 2
Uji 1
Rob (not Bob) 1
Porsche Linda 1
Milot 3 (+1*)
Neufeld 2
East Coast Julie 1
Blair 1
Tony Giacobbe (1*)
Roy O 2
Maria Scugi 1
Curt 1
Bennie 1
Big Al’s Pat 4
Alyssa 1
DMilot 3
Colleen 2
Janna  2
Robin 1
Polo 1
Illman 1
Illman friend Beth 1
Yvette 2
Danielle 1
assorted other Big Al friends 1
Crack Pipe Larry 0
Crack Pipe Larry's Business Card 2

Day 7 stats

Ok, guys, I’m new to this process and I hardly know anybody (about 5 people), so excuse my brevity in this report. I am not privy to most inside jokes, and I have no history to draw upon. I remember pretty much everybody who was there, but some of your names are lost. If you were deserving of a point and I left you off, just speak up.

Big Al – there was a blonde you said was deserving of a point who I cannot recall, nor can I recall why she was so deserving, so I guess she’s out of luck unless I come up with her name somehow.

Friday night was the Princeton pub crawl….I think the first stop was Triumph – lousy beer, lousy food and lousy atmosphere. Other than that, it’s a great place. Ska was there for a short time and he had to answer a booty call. He would return later on. This is also the place where I met Yo. After this night, I feel I must retract my insinuation that Yo secretly hungers for Gman’s pink boxer shorts as a direct result of the rumor that Yo has the greatest throwing arm in the history of softball. I’m not sure what those two things have to do with one another so I guess I really have no point. It was also at Triumph we learned that “Associate Director of Global Sourcing and Supplier Management” means absolutely nothing.

The second stop was some kind of pizza place I think - Very convivial bartender and nice atmosphere, ruined only by the fact that a basketball game was being televised over the bar. Eman’s idea of adding a person with a chainsaw under the basket to act as an extra defender is brilliant in my view. This is almost deserving of another point.

By stop number 3, some place called a&b, it became obvious that three individuals would not show this night – bobo, Kaden and CPL. We called bobo to find out where he was and as it turns out, the three of them were engaged in intimate relations with one another (not that there’s anything wrong with that)….therefore too busy to join us. Kaden’s unwillingness to take his beer in the face should be a negative point.

All in all, pretty good night. There was no vomiting or over-the-top lewd behavior.

There were three conversations I don’t have the guts to publish here.

Sorry Gman for waking up at dawn on Saturday, tripping your alarm system and then responding by, well, running out and driving off as fast as we could.

Points Tally

I know I missed some people here, so sorry, you will have to help me out. How am I expected to decipher some of these nicknames???

Ska 7
Rose 4
E-man 7
Bobo 3
G-man 7
Scugi 7
Tamp 7
Kaden 1
Tool 1
Goettle 7
Mertz 2
Yo 1
Adrienne (Mrs Yo) 1
BB 1
Buffy 1
TMAC 1
The Other Joe (OJ) 3
The Other Joe’s Brother (OJ Mark) 4
The Swede 2
Dorian 4 (+1*)
Donna 6
Billionaire Pat Worth 3
BIG LOU 6
M. Taddie 1
Su 3
Cory 1
Julian 1
Lisa Eman 1
Trent 1
Kimchick 4
Cheryl 2
MD 3
Larry Not Crack Pipe (LNCP) 2
Mel 3
Jeff 1
Stu 4
Randy 2
Laura 2
Katherine 1
Arunkone 1
BIG AL 4
Megan 1
Sonya 3
Guffar 1
Tytla 2
Uji 1
Rob (not Bob) 1
Porsche Linda 1
Milot 3 (+1*)
Neufeld 2
East Coast Julie 1
Blair 1
Tony Giacobbe (1*)
Roy O 2
Maria Scugi 1
Curt 1
Bennie 1
Big Al’s Pat 3
Alyssa 1
DMilot 3
Colleen 2
Janna 1
Robin 1
Polo 1
Illman 1
Illman friend Beth 1
Yvette 2
Danielle 1
assorted other Big Al friends 1
Crack Pipe Larry 0

Day 6 stats

Day 7: Princetonian Pub Crawl. Start at Triumph. Later spots likely to be Sotto (formally the Annex), Winberrie’s, Alchemist & Barrister. Use cell phones as required, or, if you want to find Goettle (only American under the age of 85 without one), just go outside and yell his name really loud. Day 7 rumored to include 2006 debut of TMac and Buffy. Rumor also has it that Kaden will be offering up his face to Buffy for a "throwing of the drink".



Day 6: Big Fish, the lovely Route 1 corridor, NJ

Attendees:
big lou, illman, beth (illman's friend), kimchick, big al, big al's pat, sonya, OJ Mark, bobo, g, su, colleen, eman, ska, tamps, rose, dorian, donna, goettle, yvette, polo, scugi, mertz, stu, arunkone, milot, dmile, billionaire pat worth, guffar, assorted other big al buddies

Dang it, we gave Megan a point on Day 1. I gave Danielle a point for last night. Paddei?

On to the stats. A Mr. Richard Fader Hawker of Fort Lee NJ writes in to the TDDoC blog and says: "Where are the Antics? Has anyone torn something off a wall? Has anyone been thrown up against a backstop? Has anyone bit or licked something inappropriate? Has anyone SET SOMETHING ON FIRE ! ?"

Alas, Mr. Hawker, the unfortunate answer is No. That is, until last night. The antic logjam was finally broken when Crack Pipe Larry showed up at 4PM prior to a night on the town with the youth of St. Ignatatius Girl's School for the Empowerment of Descendents of Brooklyn on his brand new Harley, which he drove up the steps of the Princeton Market Fair, through the glass doors, and down the hall. Upon skidding to a stop in front of the Starbucks, he ordered an iced pumpkin evergreen grande latte, then threw it in the face of the barista while yelling "Down with Columbian oppressive pigs!!". He then set the Starbucks on fire and drove down to the Barnes and Noble, where he proceeded to pull of his chaps and leather pants and then run around the store naked, pulling books off shelves willy nilly, yelling "Barnes and Noble $ucks without the Gman working there" and other spiced political rhetoric. He then ordered another iced pumpkin evergreen grande latte at the B&N Starbucks, but this time, he drank it. He then pulled a copy of the Magna Carta off the shelves and spit the entire contents of the iced pumpkin evergreen grande latte onto it, shouting "Down with European oppressive pigs!!". After setting the Barnes and Noble on fire, he proceeded to rape and pillage his way down the hall back to the Big Fish, where he concluded the rampage with a French Martini and a ride on the very large Big Fish perched atop the bar.

Unfortunately, all of this concluded by 4:09PM, and Crack Pipe was safely home by 4:30 catching the end of Tony Danza on the Dr. Phil show. There were no identified witnesses; the facts of this incident are only culled from internet blog sites.

Then, once the fire department put out most of the burning building, the other people showed up. Among 2006 rookies making their first appearance were Arunkone (or El Weako, as many of his lady friends call him), Lisa Illman, and her friend Beth. Lisa is YET STILL ANOTHER present or former Americom employee with many, many more points this year than Crack Pipe Larry. Illman and Beth were originally on the opposite side of the bar, creating a bit of a splinter group. Splinter group discussion ensued until the Gman showed up and began throwing a tantrum about splinters and sphincters until all people agreed to combine into a single group.

Arunkone mentioned to me that he had a picture of me hanging on the wall in his office. Oddly enough, I really don't doubt that.

Much discussion was held about the potential that the Nottingham Tavern offered as a future TDDoC spot. Unfortunately, much of the group feels that once they removed the piano, and the liklihood of a reprise of Pods' piano solo in 1987 (which resulted in the bartender yelling at him "OK, That's ENOUGH!") was gone, there was no point. However, Goettle would like to stress to the ladies that despite the fact that most of the employees and patrons of this establishment have severe dental abnormalities, this doesn't mean that they aren't nice people.

We got a surprise visit from Polo who was only able to make a cameo due to some urgent seamstessy sort of need at her house. Apparently, her home country was staging some sort of revolution and her immediate assistance was needed to stitch up a flag or something. She apparently has plans to return to the Tap Room in Princeton next Thursday to see if the chalk outline from her body on the ladies' room floor is still there from Day 7 last year.

Speaking of flags, FLAGGED! Check out the pictures and see if you can figure out what BIG LOU's favorite view of the night was. This had been immediately proceeded by BIG LOU getting a bare belly flash, the first time he remembers ever getting one of those without an exchange of dollar bills being involved.

Towards the end of the night, as a clear sign that the employees were interested in going home, all of the sudden the sound system started playing dance-floor smashes like "It Never Rains in Southern California" and the Backstreet Boys "I Want it That Way". During the latter, Goettle grabbed Bobo's hand and asked him to dance, but Bobo was so tired and full that all he could offer was a "No" instead of the usual insults to Goettle's manhood. Mertz then spoke to the manager and covinced him to insert a Megadeath CD, and then, as he had during the TDDoC in 2002, incited the crowd into a wave of violent slamdancing.


Points Tally

Ska 6
Rose 4
E-man 6
Bobo 3
G-man 6
Scugi 6
Tamp 6
Kaden 1
Tool 1
Goettle 6
Mertz 2
BB 1
The Other Joe (OJ) 3
The Other Joe’s Brother (OJ Mark) 3
The Swede 1
Dorian 4 (+1*)
Donna 6
Billionaire Pat Worth 3
BIG LOU 5
M. Taddie 1
Su 3
Cory 1
Julian 1
Lisa Eman 1
Trent 1
Kimchick 4
Cheryl 2
MD 3
Larry Not Crack Pipe (LNCP) 2
Mel 3
Jeff 1
Stu 4
Randy 2
Laura 2
Katherine 1
Arunkone 1
BIG AL 3
Megan 1
Sonya 3
Guffar 1
Tytla 2
Uji 1
Rob (not Bob) 1
Porsche Linda 1
Milot 3 (+1*)
Neufeld 1
East Coast Julie 1
Blair 1
Tony Giacobbe (1*)
Roy O 2
Maria Scugi 1
Curt 1
Bennie 1
Big Al’s Pat 2
Alyssa 1
DMilot 3
Colleen 2
Janna 1
Robin 1
Polo 1
Illman 1
Illman friend Beth 1
Yvette 2
Danielle 1
assorted other Big Al friends 1
Crack Pipe Larry 0

* = Illegitimate EC point from west coast participation (debate is on-going)

Day 5 Stats

Day 5: City Streets, East Windsor, NJ

Day 6 will be held the Nottingham Tavern in Hamilton Square, NJ**** (see **** note at bottom of message)

________________________

The scene begins outside a bar previously known as the Chowder Pot and now called City Streets.  The door opens and the inside décor strikes you as classy – white tile floors with flecks of black, wood paneling, up-to-date bar with TVs all around, flanked by eating areas – one for bar room patrons, the other for folks who prefer a restaurant setting.  The place is bustling with people and there is a beehive buzz in the air.  Our intrepid troopers – (must be family night) eman with Lisa and Trent; gman with Su, Cory, and Julian; Donna & Dorian, Frank & Cheryl K. with their son BIG LOU who is 10 yrs older than Frank’s and Cheryl’s parents (let’s see if George Lucas could ever pull off anything like that), ska, tamp, & Scugi - are merrily gathered with drinks in hand.  Laura has already come and gone – she lasted about as long as a Pam Anderson marriage.  Other Joe and Brother Mark, a friar at local chicken joint, have also come and gone

The camera does a sweep around the bar and we see a friendly face behind the bar.  Paddei, who we missed last year because she hit her head and thought she was Florence Nightingale for awhile, has returned to her familiar place.  The camera freezes on her for quite awhile to make sure everything is still “in place”; in fact, many cameras are trained over her, all doing the same inspection.  The verdict is that everything is still “just where and how it should be.”  We dodged a bullet on that one – some Florence Nightingale stories go horribly wrong.

Now there’s a flashback to the morning of Day 5.  In bedrooms all over central Jersey, men and women are waking up, holding their heads, grimacing from another AM freight train, and reaching for Advil, Tylenol, or whatever painkiller is nearest.  Then you hear a moan, a sigh, and some mumbling about how it can be only Day 5 – will this TDDoC ever end?

Now, were back in the bar.  You see the young ‘uns sitting at a table with their moms & dads.  The kids are eating the world’s best quesadilla, except for the parts that touched the sour cream – mom has to nibble at those contaminated parts.  The camera pans across the table and you see that one of the youngsters has a half-drunken bottle of Beck’s beer in front of him and a guilty smile.  Like father, like son, except the son is a good-looking, strapping lad, and the father is the g-man – thankfully, some genes skip at least a generation.

The camera moves back to the bar, but there’s no bartender to scrutinize, so it keeps moving to BIG LOU.  BIG LOU has just finished a special course on Advance Statistics for Executives and demands the standard deviation of attendance for each individual along with whether a Rayleigh or Normal distribution would be a more accurate representation of the square root of the mean of … and before he can finish, the camera hurries away and spies Rose, who comes in late.  Rose is a strong candidate for the coveted TDDoC 2006 Comeback Player of the Year Award.  Rose is on her way to Staples to get index cards because she needs to keep track of each drink we’ve taken at the TDDoC and the pack of 1000 she expected to last to the end of the season is long gone – and it’s only Day 5.

Others arrive – Randy, Stu, fresh from a crime scene and sporting a Jack Klugman autographed white lab coat, blogger Andy Tytla, and Roy O. round out the attendees.  And for Roy O. it’s a walk down memory lane, as he and Ska reminisce about a certain ex-Astro employee who used some hair-help back in the day, expect for Roy, this is brand new news, and the camera catches a priceless look of astonishment.  Well, that’s all folks, and the scene fades to black.

Except, that’s not all.  In the meantime, Andy Milot, flying in from the remote regions of Mongolia – I wonder if that’s redundant? –rushes home to kiss his wife and plead with her to go to City Streets, so he can hang out with all the cool folks who always stay out late on Day 5, especially if it’s on a Wednesday.  After intense negotiations, and a harrowing Pods-like drive over to our bar, the camera, still at the bar, catches a look of excitement and glee upon entry into the bar, giving away to confusion and disappointment, followed shortly by heart-ripping-out-of-the-chest rage.  Now, we fade to black.

**** Stay tuned, because part 6 of our serial continues tonight at Big Fish, in Princeton Market Fair on Route 1.  Hyperlink for more info on Big Fish is provided below.

http://www.muer.com/locations/bigfish_princeton/bigfishprinceton.html


Stats will be blogged at
http://tddoc.blogspot.com/

Points Tally

Ska 5
Rose 3
E-man 5
Bobo 2
G-man 5
Scugi 5
Tamp 5
Kaden 1
Tool 1
Goettle 5
Mertz 1
BB 1
The Other Joe (OJ) 3
The Other Joe’s Brother (Mark) 2
The Swede 1
Dorian 3 (+1*)
Donna 5
Billionaire Pat Worth 2
BIG LOU 4
M. Taddie 1
Su 2
Cory 1
Julian 1
Lisa Eman 1
Trent 1
Kimchick 3
Cheryl 2
MD 3
Larry Not Crack Pipe (LNCP) 2
Mel 3
Jeff 1
Stu 3
Randy 2
Laura 2
Katherine 1
BIG AL 2
Megan 1
Sonya 2
Tytla 2
Uji 1
Rob (not Bob) 1
Porsche Linda 1
Milot 2 (+1*)
Neufeld 1
East Coast Julie 1
Blair 1
Tony Giacobbe (1*)
Roy O 2
Maria Scugi 1
Curt 1
Bennie 1
Big Al’s Pat 1
Alyssa 1
DMilot 2
Colleen 1
Janna 1
Robin 1

* = Illegitimate EC point from west coast participation  (debate is on-going)

Day 4 stats

Day 5, Wed. December 13th, will be at City Streets on Rt 130 in East Windsor across the street from Finnegan’s.

On a night when most people are out shopping or putting up lights or hanging wreaths, instead of out with us, we find ourselves at the Americana Martini Lounge. It is really a diner (Time to Dine) with a lounge attached. The thing about that is, you can tell people that you are going to the diner, and not out drinking again for the fourth working night in a row. I expected a slow night since it was a Tuesday, but I was so very wrong. We had quite a crowd out and celebrated Scugi’s birthday by singing Happy Birthday so loud that others at a near by table joined in (for Hawker, we’ll work on your other suggestions). The other table was celebrating a birthday also so we sang with them when their birthday cupcake arrived.

We were fortunate enough to have the better halves of Dorian, Andy and Czyz record a point. They were on the west coast or on their way back from the west coast. One thing that is great about the 12 days, is getting to see old and new friends and over the course of the 12 days, having a chance to spend time with each of them.
A few random thoughts….

About 28 of us passed through the Americana last night.

I understand that The Other Joe was there first, followed by Scugi, Frank and The Billionaire Pat Worth

We may have a new Billionaire Pat, as Big Al’s Pat, not Billionaire Pat Worth, makes a business connection while outside smoking that could net him a fortune.
There was plenty of arguing for points and negotiating of future night locations.
We realized that many of the guidelines aren’t really followed.

Our first West Coast crossover point recorded by Alyssa Czyz.

Big Lou pulls a “Stoes”, and slips out while no one is looking and goes to Target to do some Christmas shopping and returns before his beer had gotten warm, that’s mission success.

As the evening winds down, there is Karaoke. We didn’t sing, but there was dancing. Who knew Lou was light on his shoes? (my attempt at a little Dr Seuss) . I left at around 10:30 with a few diehards still at the bar.

With day 5 approaching, we find ourselves getting into the heart of the 12. This is where the late nights, dinners of Buffalo wings and Mozzarella sticks, and drinking multiple beers each night start to really take its toll. We will be heading over to see our second favorite bartender Paddei and favorite DJ, Brett Gash at City Streets. It promises to be another good one.


Points Tally

Ska 4
Rose 2
E-man 4
Bobo 2
G-man 4
Scugi 4
Tamp 4
Kaden 1
Tool 1
Goettle 4
Mertz 1
BB 1
The Other Joe (OJ) 2
The Other Joe’s Brother (Mark) 1
The Swede 1
Dorian 2 (+1*)
Donna 4
Billionaire Pat Worth 2
BIG LOU 3
M. Taddie 1
Su 1
Kimchick 2
Cheryl 1
MD 3
Larry Not Crack Pipe (LNCP) 2
Mel 3
Jeff 1
Stu 2
Randy 1
Laura 1
Katherine 1
BIG AL 2
Megan 1
Sonya 2
Tytla 1
Uji 1
Rob (not Bob) 1
Porsche Linda 1
Milot 1 (+1*)
Neufeld 1
East Coast Julie 1
Blair 1
Tony Giacobbe (1*)
Roy O 1
Maria Scugi 1
Curt 1
Bennie 1
Big Al’s Pat 1
Alyssa 1
DMilot 1
Colleen 1
Janna 1
Robin 1

* = Illegitimate EC point from west coast participation

Day 3 stats

Ah the Tigers tale

Used to go there a lot in the late 80’s and early 90’s. The large bar on the right, the restaurant eating area on the left, and the rows of tables for two jammed around the bar. I can see it now, but only in my head, since I was sitting in a “neighborhood bar (west coast-ese for “dive”) in San Jose instead

The east coast attendees at this fine establishment included Myself and Andy Millot with Tony Giacobbe along to ensure Mission Success, but failing at this as he was mostly was interested in getting something to eat.

The night started out, oddly enough, at the fine Residence Inn in Sunnyvale. There are two of them in Sunnyvale, and one is called “Silicon Valley I” and the other is “Silicon Valley II”. I never know which is which, but this one was behind the Faultline (a good brewpub with ridiculously expensive food) on a “lake” (a small man made pond that sobers you up nice as you stumble into it back from the Faultline – but I digress). So why does this tale start at the Residence Inn? Well, they have a happy hour at 5:00, with free beer (OK, Coors) and wine and munchies. It’s a nice setup and the price is right. They even had Monday night football on some ancient big screen projection TV with the colors out of whack so everyone looked green. It got no better despite several of the aforementioned free beers, so we left to find the main event.

Linda’s Light Rail Lounge is a hole in the wall place on 1st street in lovely San Jose. Conveniently located near the County Court and several reputable bondsman – you had a feeling of safety just driving past it as fast as your could go. Our first clue that the WC folks work differently from us was that we managed to park right in front if the bar, where there are only 2 spaces. We walked into the establishment to find a bar on the left, circular booths on the right, pool tables in the back, and beat up red carpeting everywhere. But, this being Silicon Valley, over the bar was a 50-inch plasma screen TV with the game on and I finally figured out it was the Rams and the Bears because the uniforms were not green anymore. There were only 8 or 9 people in the bar, all of whom were 10+ years younger than this old codger and none of whom I knew, and yet all of whom except a couple in a booth transacting some shady deal, were members of the WC TDDoC. Having expected thrice that number from the prior days attendance list, and been informed by Linden Willis Kilgroe that there would be a rendition of the 12-days drinking song, I was a bit disappointed. Chez and Bill were nowhere to be found (Bill went to the Sharks game), the often heard but never seen Dan Peterman absent (something about a snowman in Denver) and while the place had fine potential, Tony was dismayed to find that the food was not up to specification requirements, and immediately began asking to go elsewhere. Andy had the keys, so Tony was forced to sit and have a beer with us. Andy got me a “Flat tire” (actually a Fat tire) and I forget what Tony had – only it was not food, and so he drank the beer and asked when were we leaving to go eat while Andy and I attempted to have a conversation with the local TDDoCers. Unfortunately, none of them knew Chez (or more likely denied it because they thought we were bondsmen), and they were 49er fans, which meant nothing to this Eagles fan – so no discourse was really possible.

Hopefully they remember us in their stats, because by this time Tony was threatening to hold a Presidents review on the lack of suitable eating, so we left and headed downtown. Wound up at AP Stumps. AP Stumps is a steakhouse located a couple of blocks from the San Jose Arena (the Shark tank to locals), and we had a light meal of steak and more steak. Due to the steroids in the beef, Tony and I got into a fight over the relative merits of the San Jose Arena and the Wachovia Center, with Tony insisting that a 5+block walk up Broad Street to find a restaurant and parking was the same or better than the setup in San Jose, where there are a dozen restaurants and bars within an easy walk to the tanks. I finally agreed that Philly might be as safe and better, but only if you had a vowel at the end of you name. After settling the matter like men by calling each other names across the table, we called it a night at 9:30.

So, all in all, a poor TDDoC night for this one due to it being a Monday, the WC TDDoCers coming out late, jet lag, and unrealistic expectations. However, Andy and I hereby humbly claim our points.

I’ll be on a flight home this afternoon. Let me know where the festivities are tonight, and, if the airline gods are kind, I may get back early enough to drop in. Otherwise, see you all Thursday.

Day 2 stats

Day 2: Havana, New Hope, PA

Day 3 will be held the Nottingham Tavern in Hamilton Square, NJ**** (see **** note below)

________________________


After a 2 year absence, we crossed the river to Day 2 locale, Havana, in New Hope, PA, a gay friendly community, which made us all feel at home. I guess unless there was some kind of Anschluss between New Hope and New Jersey, we didn’t follow TDDoC guideline number 4 to the letter – the gathering site was not at a “pathetic central New Jersey establishment”. But to all of you relative newcomers to the TDDoC, be not afraid, for in 1997 and 2004, points were awarded under similar circumstances, and you, too, will get your point for your attendance last Friday night. And here’s a little trivia question for you: which TDDoC participants were wrongfully denied points in 2003 on a NYC outing?

I think most of us can remember back to when we were kids, how Christmas-time filled us with anticipation for all kinds of goodies and gifts and time off from school. I can’t speak for all of you, but over the years, at least for me, the high expectations for the season have given way to tolerance and maybe even just plain “stomaching the so-called holidays.” Now, as adults, we have so many material and time demands to fill and too many obligations to satisfy - Christmas has lost almost all its luster – it’s definitely a kid’s holiday, but our society seems to have taken a good thing way too far – could explain the actions of a certain gov’t official of a certain country in the war-on-terror – but that’s for another place and time.

Anyway, it’s funny how so many inventions seem to have come along just at the right time. Take the crapper, for instance – our parents’ parents’ parents’ … something like 6 or so generations ago, folks were just plain sick of the inconvenience of venturing outside at night to take care of important business, so a quantum leap in human waste disposal and management technology was devised to do away with the way doo-doo had been done. And where else but America, the land where without a doubt everything cool over the past 100 or so years has been invented (including the vac-u-jac), would a small team of misanthropes come up with a way to restore the heretofore unbearable Christmas season to its proper glory. I can’t believe that any of you would ask “how’d they do that?” or “what did they come up with”. Well, the answer, for those of you who need a thesaurus to get thru this edition of the stats, they founded the TDDoC. History will acquit them well – someday, they will take their place along with the Founding Fathers of this great nation. Rest assured, by the time their work is through and the dust, kicked up every time humankind takes a big step forward, has settled, in the same breath in which the names Jefferson, Franklin, and Adams are uttered, your progeny will speak reverently of Bobo, G-man, Ska, E-man, BillyBob, Pods, Czyz, and Joe Willy – especially, if they can stay out of jail.

What they’ve given us, what we can take from their wise and industrious pursuit, is the simple camaraderie arising from sharing simple beverages (alcoholic, of course, or no point for you) during this special season - at least, until Day 5, at which point we begin to regard each other with the type of the type of contempt reserved for in-laws; and by Day 8, instead of dreams of sugar plum fairies, our thoughts turn to the pleasure that could be derived from rippint anyone’s and everyone’s friggin’ heart of their chest and eating it before it stops beating. Look, no invention or advancement is perfect.

Here’s a very little bit of what went on:

We get there and we’re inside – yes, rather than outside, as Havana does afford their patrons the opportunity to purchase and drink outside, but since it is a bit on the nippy side, we opted for the indoors. I have to say that our crowd was mostly polite, perhaps even a bit subdued. Maybe the Day 1 antics of the previous night had taken their toll – there were rumors that some of the more loquacious liquor lappers required multiple trips to the Crapper earlier in the day. If it’s OK with you, I won’t say any more about that.

In attendance were the lovely and talented Dorian and Donna, who must’ve been getting along that night, as there were only 3 or 4 bar stools between them; also in attendance were BB, Eman, Bobo and M. Taddei, Milot, Art Neufeld and East Coast Julie, MD and Mel, fan favorite BIG LOU, G-man & Su, Scugi, Ska, Tamps, Katherine, and Goettle. The band was called Crucial and I bet none of you who weren’t there would know that Crucial is a reggae band. I’m sure they’ve got a website and CDs and all of that, but since this isn’t a commercial for them, eff them. Only the 609 band has exclusive rights to shameless, annoying plugs in these stats.

Aside from BB trying to throw the camera into the river, the gang was well-behaved, even sociable, as you can tell from the pics. Not sure if BB has found Allah and is worried about the camera stealing his spirit, or if it’s just some bias against visual evidence that could be used against him in the future.

And G-man managed to keep his pants on for the 2nd day in a row - and in New Hope of all places, imagine that.

We ordered drinks, food, and more drinks – yes, in that order. Havana certainly deserves some props for their beer and food selection – how many places do you know to have Magic Hat 9 on tap and duck breast on the menu? That was a rhetorical question – please don’t “Reply All” to give an answer, or the Day 8 heart-ripping-out-thoughts may be accelerated to Day 3. Speaking of Day 3 (which is tonite), it will be held at the place G-man has been begging for for years (usage of prepositions there is pretty bad – I realize that it’s a faux pas with which many of you won’t put up).

****No it’s not gonna be at Nottingham Tavern in Hamilton Square, a place where a full set of teeth or a set of parents who aren’t related, entitles you to pay full price for your beers. It’s gonna be at Tiger’s Tale on Rte 206, just north of Princeton – the address is 1290 Rte 206 (or US Highway 206), Montgomery (or Skillman), NJ. It’s on the Southbound side of Rte 206 – you’ll have to make a left into the parking lot if you’re heading North on Rte 206.

Here’s a link to Google Maps, if you’d like to see where it is on a map:

http://www.google.com/maps?hl=en&lr=&q=tiger%27s+tale+restaurant&near=Princeton,+NJ&cid=0,0,17648463361792713466&ll=40.404602,-74.649471&spn=0,.02&sa=X&oi=local&ct=image

If you need directions, ask G-man - he’s been clamoring for years to venture farther away from Rte 1 during the TDDoC.


Some more stats:

Drink of the Day, courtesy of Donna, was the prairie fire, a concoction of mediocre tequila and Tabasco – or some other Mexican fire sauce – Highly recommended it if you don’t like tequila or Tabasco or have a stomach ulcer.

Best photo of Ska and chicks: check out the last photo in the stack

Best photo of Milot with eyes closed and chicks: they’re all like that

Most interesting conversation: The discussion among Su, Mel, and MD as to whether men are sexier with or sans underwear (G and Goettle got to participate, too). I think that 2 out of 3 women prefer their eye candy covered up to some degree.

Least interesting conversation: I was so bored during it, I forgot what it was – must’ve been talking to myself again.

Surprise Arrival: Korean woman we ran into at BF a few weeks ago. She kept saying to Ska Maguire, “You had me at Hello.”

I’d say more about Day 2, but I’m afraid that would only make things worse.

The Points Totals:

Ska 2
Rose 1
E-man 2
Bobo 2
G-man 2
Scugi 2
Tamp 2
Kaden 1
Tool 2
Goettle 2
Mertz 1
BB 1
The Other Joe (OJ) 1
The Other Joe’s Brother (Mark) 1
The Swede 1
Dorian 2
Donna 2
Billionaire Pat Worth 1
BIG LOU 2
M. Taddie 1
Su 1
Kimchick 1
Cheryl 1
MD 2
Not CPL Larry 1
Mel 2
Jeff 1
Stu 1
Randy 1
Laura 1
Katherine 1
BIG AL 1
Megan 1
Sonya 1
Tytla 1
Uji 1
Rob (not Bob) 1
Porsche Linda 1
Milot 1
Neufeld 1
East Coast Julie 1

Day 1 stats

Day 1: Charlie Browns, West Windsor, NJ

Day 2 will be held the Nottingham Tavern in Hamilton Square, NJ****

________________________


At 4:40 pm, I get the call from Bobo, "Where the *%$ are you guys? Oh, sorry, WHY!!?!"

So its official another Twelve Drinking Days of Christmas is on. And Day 1 was no disappointment. Except if you are CPL. Or Peterman. Neither of whom was in attendance. But if I had to wager, I think Peterman has a better chance of making an appearance. Peterman is someone from the San Jose area TDDoC. CPL is a local horse's arse. And he really p!sses me off.

Hold on a second, did he say the Nottingham Tavern? How stupid is that? I'll tell you: It is really stupid. OK, this just in. ****Day 2 will be at Havana, in New Hope, Pennsylvania for all of you whiners. Man, you people really are p!ssing me off. I need to calm down. Happy thoughts.

And the TDDoC is a time for happy thoughts. And it was a happy time. I arrived to find Bobo sitting at the bar with Uji and the the Other Joe, and the Other Joe's brother Mark. Bobo had already begun the infamous Bobo CB's Beer Sampler having a pint of every tap beer available, except of course for the Bud, Miller, and Coors products. Oddly enough, there are still plenty of tap beers available. I jump into the same rotation. Then everyone else showed up. Many folks also jump in on the Bobo Sampler and the bartenders pick up on this, and seem to remember where everyone is in the rotation, so much so that they even give people crap for attempting to skip the Guinness.

Man these stats are really lame, reminiscent of that crap the Sunnyvale crowd puts out. They p!ss me off two with their "scribe" and giving everyone a point and calling in and all that non-sense. They make me want to take a hostage. Deep breath. Serenity now. Serenity now.

Day One of the TDDoC seems to be the only time we ever get to CB's anymore. Which is a shame, because, really, who doesn't like to see Megan? And of course, she is as lovely as ever. As were all of the women who came out last night. Ladies, you are the best. And you don't p!ss me off. Well, one of you does, and you know who you are.

How about some actual stats:

Best Initial Drink Order -- Donna: Guinness, backed up with a shot of the Patron Silver. Happy Holidays Donna.

Surprise Arrival -- The Tool: This shouldn't surprise anyone, always great when The Tool is in the game

"I forgot you were alive" -- Uji: Welcome back.

Biggest Horse's Arse -- CPL (you expect me to relent?)

Best thing that didn't happen -- Gman taking his pants off. Of course, it's only Day One.

Bar Tab -- $375
Day One -- Priceless

(That bar tab seemed a a little low)

And of course Goettle had his camera. The photos are attached. Please note: I am not a good looking person.

These stats are lame so I will put them out of their misery. See you tonight at Havana.

The players, all receive a point (collect all twelve):

Ska
Rose
E-man
Bobo
G-man
Scugi
Tamp
Kaden
Tool
Goettle
Mertz
The Other Joe (OJ)
The Other Joe’s Brother (Mark)
The Swede
Dorian
Donna
Billionaire Pat Worth
BIG LOU
Kimchick
Cheryl
MD
Not CPL Larry
Mel
Jeff
Stu
Randy
Laura
BIG AL
Megan
Sonja
Tytla
Uji
Porsche Linda

W H Y ?!

First "WHY?!" call received by Ska around 4:30 p.m. EST on 7 December 2006.

2006 TDDoC

Ahhhhh, darkness at 4:30, freezing cold air, the sweet melodies of frequent noseblows, and inescapable Christmas music in every nook and cranny of the face of the earth....it must mean....it's time for....

THE 10th ANNUAL (EXCEPT 1998) FESTIVAL OF.....THE TWELVE DRINKING DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (TDDoC)!!!

START DATE: THURSDAY, DEC. 7LOCATION: Day 1: cb's aka Charlie Brown's on Route 1 in West Windsor NJ. http://www.charliebrowns.com/

Now for the details. For those that are new to the TTDDoC, I've includedthe following Guidelines. For those that are familiar with the TTDDoC format,you may still want to re-acquaint yourself. It's not as easy as riding a bike.

Guidelines-

1. For the purpose of the Festival, working days in which you coulddrink AFTER WORK are considered "Drinking Days". (I know that the term"Drinking Days" causes some controversy every year as it is easily and often arguedthat every day is a "Drinking Day"). Traditionally the Festival begins onthe date that allows 12 "Drinking Days" to occur prior to ChristmasDay - This year it's the 7th of December. Unlike other chapters throughout the country (especially those in the greater San Jose area), there will be no special exceptions due to plant closings, postal holidays, moon/earth alignments or other such nonsense. The twelfth day of the event will as always occur on Dec. 24 (with the exception of many special cases which cannot be shared with the general public, such as this year when Dec. 24 falls on a Sunday, so this year it will end on Dec. 22).

2. Attendance is scored by showing up and drinking with your friends,colleagues, soon-to-be-friends, and assorted annoying bores. Any action to discourage someone from showing up simply because they have bad breath, poor eating manners, or are a pompous ass is severely frowned upon. This is good fodder for the stats (see guideline # 7). However, unwillingness to imbibe can of course be held as a strike against any otherwise worthy candidate.
Tradition has it that there is a one-drink minimum to be awarded a Point. Anyone on travel during The 12 Days & gathering in the spirit of The 12 Days will, of course, be considered participants if they 1) are actually drinking and 2) submit Stats. (Note: The Gman does not honor this provision and will not only take away your points, but will also attempt to beat you senseless when you are not looking). Phoning in alone does not enable point awardance but is highly encouraged to aid the home team in stats preparation. Drinking by yourself does not count, and drinking with some casual loser work friend if that loser is not involved in the larger effort does not count either. If you want a point for drinking with that casual loser work friend, you will need to drag them out to multiple mainstream TTDDoC events in order for your miserable time withthem to count. If you choose not to imbibe, NO POINT FOR YOU, however, we'd still like to see you out. Whoever has the highest Tally of Pointson Day Twelve will be awarded a coveted TDDoC trophy, and, as always, be obligated to abuse those that fell short in their quest to be the champion for their lameness. Never mind thatsaid trophy has NEVER been awarded. It sounds good on paper.
Far and away the most significant value of the point system is to incurrepeated heated discussions, fisticuffs, and "airing of the grievances".Please keep this in mind and argue about points that you "should have had"as often as possible.

3. Any adult-beverages consumed outside these events (weekends, fromthe bottom-drawer at work, at breakfast.. .) is regarded as Practice forThe 12 Days and will not be scored. However, as in any hard-core sporting event, practiceis highly encouraged.

4. Events are to be held in a different pathetic central NJ establishmenteach of The 12 Days. Suggestions for events at further-away locations are, as always, highly encouraged, and yet, as always, highly unlikely.

5. Invitees are by no means limited to those addressed in this initialdistribution. This is an open invitation. Any stiff that you can drag out is more than welcome. Participants should also encourage breakout chapters in other sections of the country. Once again, the San Jose CA and Dulles VA chapters will also be in full working order. Or will they?

6.Family events, work parties, watching Alf re-runs, having to "washyour hair" that night, spending time with loved ones, etc. are to beconsidered POOR excuses for missing TDDoC events. These may be important duringother parts of the year but during the TDDoC festivities, please try to focus onwhat is really important, i.e. "Where are we drinking tonight?".

7. Which brings us to the daily Stats.
a) Stats are to be published the following day, with enough time toprepare for that day's event (i.e. before/during lunch), by an elected or forced stat-writer. Thisresponsibility traditionally rotates between participants. Amendmentsand/or additions to the original published Stats are not only welcome but,in fact, encouraged (Different points of view can be awfully amusing). HOWEVER, rebuttals should stick to the general topic of TDDoC and the stats. Using the distribution list for sharing of personal jokes, "cool" newspaper articles, and/or naked pictures of one's own butt are highly discouraged and the author will be placed on distribution for every internet junk e-mail list possible.b)The Stats have generally been a free-form record - Including, butnot limited to, the night's activities (should at least cover the basics,where when who etc), discussion topics (politics, sports, fashion, WHATEVER),liquids consumed (cooking/dipping oils and food condiment consumption areespecially welcome here) and any patriotic songs sung.c)Include an announcement/proposal as to where the next night's gatheringis to be.d)And the running Point Tally.e)Stats are an ideal forum to introduce Suggested Topics for that night'sdiscussion. Throw out a topic or two you (the scribe) would like to seetabled during the night's activities. This of course may (and likely will) be completelyignored.f)Stats of course need not be true!! Embellishment and downright manufacture of the details ishighly encouraged!g) Note: Use of the word "scribe" itself is highly discouraged in East Coast chapters.

8. WHYYY?? call: It is standard for the first person who shows at that night's event to vent their frustration from having to sit at the bar by themselves like a huge loser by calling another participant on their cell phone and yelling "WHY????" into the phone, which is of course short for "WHY am I drinking alone?". Per custom, it is encouraged to then hang up the phone prior to allowing the recipient of the phone call to respond in any manner. No special bonuses are awarded for this other than the personal satisfaction of taking out your societal anger on an unsuspecting other party.

9. Contests, competitions, shenanigans: Contests such as no-repeat beer quest (not repeating a brand/style of beer for the entire 12 days), no-repeat tequila shots, drinking your drink out of another's shoe, duels at 20 paces, and of course footraces are highly encouraged.

10. Alleged celebrity sightings: Always encouraged, always highly unlikely. It is believed that there has been only a single alleged celebrity sighting in the history of the TDDoC: the alleged sighting of Lilleth from Cheers in the Main Street Bistro circa 1999. Please try for more, and if encountered do your best to engage them in either (1) drinking heavily or (2) mean-spirited fisticuffs.

11. Hard liquor of the day: The first person at the bar (or first person that cares to do so) is encouraged to name a hard liquor of the day, and all are encouraged to imbibe in said liquor at some point during the evening, be it in a mixed drink, shot, straight up, or pouring it over one's own head. Shouts of "ALRIGHT, WHERE'S THE HARD LIQUOR?" (copyright The Thomas E. Hawker Foundation) should of course accompany said activity.
So, without further adieu, clear out your calendar and load up your office desk drawer with hangover remedies!! : Day 1: cb's aka Charlie Brown's on Route 1 in West Windsor NJ.