Perfect Match

From Day 12 photos...

Day 11 Stats: The Purple Moose Arrives

Stats by Kaden

Quote from Kaden to Gman: “Nice ramrodding of me into doing the stats.” Hasn’t he heard yet? Gman does not ramrod....

Day 11 Americana Diner:

Day 11 of the 12DDoC was held at the Americana Diner. Note that I do not refer to this as the "NJ Chapter" of the 12DDoC. There is only one original 12DDoC, accept no substitutes. Much like UNC in Chapel Hill is called just "UNC" and all the other UNCs are called "UNC-Asheville", "UNC-Greensboro" and "UNC-Wilmington", etc, so shall I call the 12DDoC the 12DDoC. I refuse to acknowledge a bunch of punks who can't even come up with an original idea and the turn coats who enable them.

The Americana has become a traditional Tuesday evening location due to their rip-roaring karaoke night. I arrive at 9PM to find a bar packed with 12DDoC'ers and various locals eagerly anticipating the start of karaoke. Although there is room at the bar, I have to wait about 5 minutes to get service. I remark to Ska that if I stayed home, I would have been drunk already. The beer selection at the Americana is not bad.

G comes over and blames Goettle for torpedoing Day 10 at the HOB. G and I both agree- eff Goettle. No truer words have ever been spoken!

Goettle is taking pictures of everything. He shows me a picture where, just as he was taking it, the top of G's head pops into the picture. The top of G's head looks surprisingly similar to an ass cheek. G's got top.

Scugi is talking about poker, Tamps is talking about biking, Ska is talking loud. G is wearing a white turtleneck and blazer. Looks like the same outfit that Glenn Campbell was wearing on a Christmas album my parents had.

Karaoke begins shortly after 10PM. The performers are truly horrible. One guy I dub as "Taylor Hicks with black hair". Two guys sing More Than Words. First rule of karaoke- do not sing a slow song. I see a dweebie looking guy (a real square cat looking like 1974) feverishly pouring over the book of songs and he shortly goes up and starts to sing Fight For Your Right. And the crowd goes wild! As luck has it, I am standing next to Ska at this point. We start belting out the words. Apparently I can sing a lot louder than Ska. He looks at me with a combination of fear, pity and envy. Why is it that all these so-called talent shows subjectively select people on their "ability"? Why not just put a volume meter, instead of a microphone, on the stage, and award the title to the loudest singer?

Su shows me some sort of 12DDoC Ten Year Anniversary chalice, but I did not pick up the story that went with it (ie, is it given to the 12DDoC MVP to carry around all year like the Stanley Cup?).

I suffer through several more songs. Goettle tries to convince me to sing "Darling Nikki" with him but I pass (that's more of an Eman thing). When the most ancient of geezers goes up to sing "September Morn", I decide to head home. There is no chance I want to be on the road later when that guy is driving home.

I get home to find Xtine still working on finishing up some Christmas presents. Day 12 attendance is deemed as being "questionable".

Chalice spoken about above is the formerly mythical “Coveted Purple Moose Award”. This story begins at TDDoC 2004 when Gman explains to Michele D that she has won not only the Rookie of the Year Award but also the coveted Purple Moose Award, this honor is bestowed upon the most valuable drinker during the TDDoC. At the time MD was amazed, shocked and honored to receive such an acknowledgment. She subsequently asked about the award ceremony and asked how much space she would need to clear out of awards cabinet to hold this Purple Moose. Gman replied, “that’s easy, there is NO ceremony and there is NO real award”. The Purple Moose Award lies in the fantasy of drinking men and women, it is real only to them. Feeling that this injustice should never be laid on another, MD went into her workshop and toiled for years creating the perfect award. After years of designs and redesigns, she finally displayed the Purple Moose Award at Americana on Day 11 of 2008. And that is how the Coveted Purple Moose went from a myth to reality… either that or MD had an extra glass so she created a commemorative 10 yr anniversary glass… personally I like the former story

See points below (Attendance was heavy as were drinks so I may have missed someone please let me know if you were inadvertently omitted)

Adam 1
Adrienne (Mrs Yo) 1
Amato 1
Andrew 2
Arounkone 1
Art N 2
Big Lou 5
Bill H 1
Billionaire Pat Worth 3
Blair 1
Bobo 5
Brandy (BPW wife) 1
Brendan (BPW friend) 2
Brody 1
Chris Bode 3
Chuck DePalma 1
Cole 11
Paul Conway 2
Conway brother in law Roger 1
Conway niece Ann 1
Conway sister in law Joan 1
Conway wife Jean 1
CPK 1
CPL 2
Danielle 1
Danwebster 1
Dave (Felicia's husband) 1
Dave Peterson 1
Dmile 5
Donna 6
Dorian 7
Earl (Tamp Friend) 1
El Chorba 1
Eman 7
Eman on a stick 3
Eric T 3
Felicia 8
German Micheal 3
Gina (Big Fish Barkeep) 2
Gman 11
Goettle 11
Heather (Judd wife) 1
Jag 3
Jana 4
Jason 3
Jeff T (Tamps friend) 1
Jeremy V 2
Jim Judd 1
John (Chorba work friend) 1
Judy B (Melanie friend) 1
Julian 3
Julie N 1
Kaden 2
Karen (Chorba work friend) 1
Katherine 4
Keith (BLK) 1
Kurt (Bobo neighbor) 1
Larry (NCP) 2
Laura 6
Lisa Eman 4
Liz (Katherine sister) 1
Lori (Cole Wife) 1
Lou D 3
Marissa (Felicia friend) 1
Marissa's twin sister 1
Mary T 1
Maureen D 2
Melanie 1
Mel Farris 2
Mertz 5
Michele D 2
Michelle (Chorba work friend) 1
Mike C 1
Milot 8
Mosso 10
Mrs Scugi 3
Nicole (Americana Barkeep) 1
No Job Rob 1
OJ Marc 4
Pam T (Tamps friend) 2
Pods 1
Polo 1
Rachel (BLK) 1
Randy 7
Rich T (Tamps friend) 2
Rose 1
Ryan G 5
Sage 1
Scugi 6
Sean (OJ Marc friend) 1
Sharon A 2
Sharon H 4
Ska 7
Steve (OJ Marc friend) 2
Stu 1
Su 8
Tamp 11
The Mechanic 2
Tommy (Wendy friend) 1
Trent Eman 3
Uvegas 2
Wendy (Chorba work friend)

Day 10 stats - Darlin Nikki

Day 10 TDDoC - It Was Tir Na Nog for Festivus Eve; Day 11 Location - Americana

Americana Diner
359 Rte 130 North (Off the North-bound lanes)
East Windsor, NJ 08520




Day 10. Finally the days are getting longer. You can tell because the sun rises a little earlier or sets a little later. And thankfully we are nearing the end of 2008 edition of the TDDoC. My wife will be thrilled not to wake with a headache nearly every morning – no, she doesn’t drink – she sleeps next to me, and I’m not the darling at home that you see on these nights. Soon all the pageantry will be but a memory as we look forward to X-mas and the New Year. There will probably be no TDDoMLK this year – there never is. It’s all talk. It’s always been like that. No, the best we can hope for is a 6 AM Groundhog Day start at the Grey Lodge Pub in NE Philly. Ahhh – that’s what we need. A goal. Something to focus on and keep us moving in the humdrum of a cold winter.

Ladies and gentlemen and BIG LOU. Last night at the Tir Na Nog, we had a lively crew in what has been reputed as the finest Irish Bar in NJ. And how do we know this? It says so on their website. Not that you should believe everything you read, but why would they lie? In attendance, in no particular order, was Jana, Felicia, D-mile, Laura, Pam, Tamp, BIG LOU, John the Mechanic, Russ, Gman, Scugi, Yo, Rich, Pods – yes, the one and only Pods – Milot, David (Felicia’s husband), Cole, Goettle, and the one of our most distinguished attendees ever, E-man on a Straw.

Tir Na Nog is apparently more than 3 blocks away from the crack dens of Trenton or I’m sure we would’ve seen one CPL – at least between hits on that pipe of his. Tir Na Nog is owned by Billy Briggs, who passed away but a few months ago, and though it is around the corner from where Gman grew up, he had never ventured inside. And G-man can’t use the “they were closed on X-mas” excuse, because Tir na Nog opens at 11 AM on X-mas day. Santa needs a place to unwind after that whirlwind gift-giving trip he takes every year.

E-man on a Stick has some stiff competition in the points category. Last night we had “E-man on a Drinking Straw”. Take a look at the virtually identical photos below – I can’t tell one from the other. Can you? E-man on a straw was a big hit with the ladies, and rumor has it he is actually e-man on a stick after spending a weekend with a certain Day 9 female stats writer. She was quite insistent that I not reveal her name, as she is contemplating life in a convent.

One of the surprising and more disturbing conversations from the evening was the discussion between Yo, Russ, and G-man on who’s hotter – Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, or Barbara Bush (our president’s mom). Things got rather heated as each of these gentlemen prepared to go to great lengths to defend his lady’s virtue and beauty. I think that we need BIG LOU to be final arbiter on this weighty matter. Me – all I can think about when I picture those three is some hot, lesbo action. Chivalry is far from dead in Trenton.

Jana and Felicia are going to be incredibly disappointed if Chaty does not reprise his rendition of Humpty Dance – must be all those rehearsals keeping him away from Days 8 & 9. That, or he found more interesting people to hang out with.

When was the last time Milot kept his eyes open for a flash photo? Has this ever happened?

Of course we can only hope that e-man’s private jet can find a suitable landing sight near Americana – though perhaps e-man and goettle will spare all of you a redux of “Darlin Nikki”. For those of you have put this lowest TDDoC moment ever in the past, here is a little reminder. Maybe this year the girls – and you know who you are - will have the ba11s to complete the entire song with e-man, so I won’t have to get up on the friggin’ stage.

I knew a girl named nikki
I guess u could say she was a s_x fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturb@ting with a magazine
She said howd u like 2 waste some time
And I could not resist when I saw little nikki grind

She took me 2 her castle
And I just couldnt believe my eyes
She had so many devices
Everything that money could buy
She said sign your name on the dotted line
The lights went out
And nikki started 2 grind

Nikki

The castle started spinning
Or maybe it was my brain
I cant tell u what she did 2 me
But my body will never be the same
Her lovin will kick your behind
Oh, shell show u no mercy
But shell shonuff shonuff show u how 2 grind

Darlin nikki

Woke up the next morning
Nikki wasnt there
I looked all over and all I found
Was a phone unmber on the stairs
It said thank u 4 a funky time
Call me up whenever u want 2 grind

Oh, nikki, ohhhh

Come back nikki, come back
Your dirty little prince
Wanna grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind

{backwards at the end...}
Hello, how r u? Im fine. cause I know
That the lord is coming soon, coming, coming soon.

Last night was not only Day 10 of the TDDoC but also marked one of the holiest days on the drinking calendar. It was Festivus Eve. I hear Ska couldn’t make it out last night because he was pole shopping and completing his year-long preparations for the Great Feats of Strength portion of the program. Festivus is that special day where you get to air all your grievances and tell the folks closest to you how disappointed you are in them. Of course, for BIG LOU, it’s just another day to let us know how lame we all are. So for those of you who can’t make it to Americana tonight, I hope you have your pole or at least have BIG LOU’s list of establishments which are known to have Poles on poles.


The points totals:

Adam 1
Amato 1
Andrew 1
Arounkone 1
Art N 1
Big Lou 4
Bill H 1
Billionaire Pat Worth 1
Blair 1
Bobo 5
Brandy (BPW wife) 1
Brendan (BPW friend) 2
Brody 1
Chris Bode 3
Chuck de Palma 1
Cole 10
Paul Conway 2
Conway brother in law Roger 1
Conway niece Ann 1
Conway sister in law Joan 1
Conway wife Jean 1
CPK 1
CPL 2
Danielle 1
Danwebster 1
Dave (Felicia's husband) 1
Dave Peterson 1
Dmile 4
Donna 6
Dorian 7
Earl (Tamp Friend) 1
El Chorba 1
Eman 7
Eman on a stick 1
Eman on a straw 1
Eric T 3
Felicia 7
German Micheal 3
Gina (Big Fish Barkeep) 2
Gman 10
Goettle 10
Heather (Judd wife) 1
Jag 3
Jana 3
Jason 3
Jeff T (Tamps friend) 1
Jeremy V 2
Jim Judd 1
John (Chorba work friend) 1
John "The Mechanic" Fallon 2
Julian 3
Julie N 1
Kaden 1
Karen (Chorba work friend) 1
Katherine 3
Kurt (Bobo neighbor) 1
Larry (NCP) 1
Laura 6
Lisa Eman 4
Lori (Cole Wife) 1
Lou D 3
Marissa (Felicia friend) 1
Marissa's twin sister 1
Mary T 1
Maureen D 2
Mel Farris 1
Mertz 5
Michele D 1
Michelle (Chorba work friend) 1
Mike C 1
Milot 7
Mosso 9
Mrs Scugi 2
OJ Marc 4
No Job Rob 1
Pam T (Tamps friend) 2
Pods 1
Polo 1
Randy 7
Rich T (Tamps friend) 2
Rose 1
Ryan G 4
Scugi 5
Sean (OJ Marc friend) 1
Sharon A 2
Sharon H 4
Ska 6
Steve (OJ Marc friend) 2
Stu 1
Su 7
Tamp 10
Tommy (Wendy friend) 1
Trent Eman 3
Uvegas 2
Wendy (Chorba work friend) 1
Will T 1
Yvette G 5
Yo 2

Day 9 Stats: Tea for Twelve

Day 10 location the Tir Na Nog on Hamilton Ave (you may be required to park on the street.

Tir Na Nog
1324 Hamilton Ave
Trenton, NJ 08629

(609) 392-2554

Day 9 Stats: Santino’s in Robbinsville

The Female Edition , written by Jana

I wasn’t crazy about this location from the door, but I had a good feeling that Friday night was going to be a lot of fun. I was worried that our turnout wouldn’t be so great because of the wintry mix we had earlier in the day, but much to my surprise the usual suspects were all in the house.

Upon my arrival to Santino’s I looked around the dimly lit bar for our crew. As I made my way around the circular bar, I made some observations about the crowd and the atmosphere, and wished we were at a dive bar like McQuinn’s. About ¾ of the way around the bar, I spot the gentlemanly Mr. Tampellini, Felicia, and assorted company. I almost reach our group when a bottle of wine crashes to the floor at the table I just passed. Everyone at the table glances over at me as if I knocked this bottle over, but I didn’t, I swear. Just for the record, even if I did knock this bottle over, you’re the idiots that had the bottle hanging on your chair in a bag or on the floor in a bar….duh. But I wasn’t going to let that break my stride, nobody’s gonna slow me down, oh no, I’ve got to get my TDDOC point. Finally I reach our crew, the spill is being cleared, and I’m greeted by Tamps who remarks, “Why didn’t you just walk the other way instead of walking all the way around the bar?” To which I replied, “Because I can’t see anyone in this fudge tunnel.”

Moments later Scugi ran over to me with Tom Eastman’s head on a stick. We did lots of dirty things with Eman’s head that night. Too bad he missed it! See the photo evidence on the blog. He had a hard stick and he gave good head.



During my first drink Andy told me a story of a friend, who shall remain nameless (well mainly because I don’t know his name), that blamed him for a Hustler DVD that mysteriously appeared in friend X’s DVD player and later found by his wife. Friend X, now that I am sober I ask you, wouldn’t it have been better to have owned up to the Hustler than to have tried to explain why Andy would’ve been at your home watching such material? Hmmm.

Shortly after I finished my first drink, Big Lou entered the bar with the aroma of Drakkar Noir surrounding his presence. Ah, Drakkar Noir, what a throwback to the eighth grade for me when I would only go to a movie with a boy who wore Drakkar Noir. Too bad those days are long over.

I must give a shout out here to Felicia who held Santino’s down with me on Friday night. I must also shout out the little man in the grey sweater (Santino’s manager) who took a special interest in Felicia’s needs that evening. There was also an unknown drunk girl who felt the need to inform Felicia of her every bathroom move, to whom Felicia said “Did I invite you to my B-B-Q? Then why are you all up in my grill?”

About this time Gman & Su decided to join us, but they weren’t alone. They brought Mr. & Mrs. Val Kilmer along for the ride. This was quite a group for those of you who missed it. They downed drink after drink to catch up to those of us who had been at it for hours already. Mrs. Kilmer was feisty and she wanted to share her cleavage with the Gman as often as Su would allow. She was also trying to rip my shirt off. This party was in full swing now!

I recall talking with Ska for a moment after having a shot with Gman and Felicia when all of a sudden the Gman had an outburst regarding alumni shirts. DO NOT MENTION ALUMNI SHIRTS to the Gman. This appears to be a very sensitive topic for the Gman. The little man in the grey sweater came rushing over to try and quiet the Gman. Little did he know, G had the Kilmer’s on his side along with the rest of the TDDOC posse. Mrs. Kilmer got in the bartender's face and told him that she was going to spend the $500 dollars that she planned to spend at Santino’s, elsewhere. Then she said the same thing to the little man in the grey sweater, which led to our being kicked out of Santino’s. TDDOC will not be patronizing Santino’s going forward. So, I grabbed Eastman by the head and we all went to Jo Jo’s in Hamilton. The only thing that changes there, are the bartenders’ hair colors. Thank goodness for Jo Jo’s bar pie at 11PM! Just when you think we are bringing this evening to a close, Mrs. Kilmer has one last outburst to get off her chest and approaches a man in a hot pink tee and black exercise shorts with a fashion police alert. Once Hot Pink was given his celebrity citation, we were on our way.

AND as a special bonus for all of you TDDOCers that are looking a little rough around the edges, I’ve included some holiday beauty tips that will have you looking merry and bright just in time for your in-laws to arrive for Christmas.

1) Chamomile tea bags are wonderful for those bags under your eyes. Simply soak the tea bags in cool water and place them over your eyes for a few minutes.

2) Using CO Bigelow Menthol Body Wash is a wonderful way to start your day. Shower with this and you will be wide awake after any long night of TDDOCing. Just be careful where you use this tingly body wash, unless of course that’s what you’re aiming for!

3) TAZO Awake Tea will have you bright eyed in no time! Try it. Your liver will be thankful that it’s not booze.

4) Lastly, use a moisturizer for that tired, dry face of yours. Moisturizer is not just for women. I recommend Caudalie anti-wrinkle cream, but any moisturizer is better than none at all. Just make sure it’s for your face, otherwise don’t blame me when you have a bad reaction.


AND for all you married TDDOC men reading this, your wives are saints. After you sober up, take your wife out on a date somewhere really nice (NOT SANTINO’S), and surprise her with a little something special that she won’t be expecting. After all, she puts up with you and you might just get lucky out of the deal. Good luck!

Adam 1
Amato 1
Andrew 1
Arounkone 1
Art N 1
Big Lou 3
Bill H 1
Billionaire Pat Worth 1
Blair 1
Bobo 5
Brandy (BPW wife) 1
Brendan (BPW friend) 2
Brody 1
Chris Bode 3
Chuck de Palma 1
Cole 9
Paul Conway 2
Conway brother in law Roger 1
Conway niece Ann 1
Conway sister in law Joan 1
Conway wife Jean 1
CPK 1
CPL 2
Danielle 1
Danwebster 1
Dave Peterson 1
Dmile 3
Donna 6
Dorian 7
Earl (Tamp Friend) 1
El Chorba 1
Eman 7
Eman on a stick 1
Eric T 3
Felicia 6
German Micheal 3
Gina (Big Fish Barkeep) 2
Gman 9
Goettle 9
Heather (Judd wife) 1
Jag 3
Jana 2
Jason 3
Jeff T (Tamps friend) 1
Jeremy V 2
Jim Judd 1
John (Chorba work friend) 1
John "The Mechanic" Fallon 1
Julian 3
Julie N 1
Kaden 1
Karen (Chorba work friend) 1
Katherine 3
Kurt (Bobo neighbor) 1
Larry (NCP) 1
Laura 5
Lisa Eman 4
Lori (Cole Wife) 1
Lou D 3
Marissa (Felicia friend) 1
Marissa's twin sister 1
Mary T 1
Maureen D 2
Mel Farris 1
Mertz 5
Michele D 1
Michelle (Chorba work friend) 1
Mike C 1
Milot 6
Mosso 8
Mrs Scugi 2
OJ Marc 4
No Job Rob 1
Pam T (Tamps friend) 1
Polo 1
Randy 7
Rich T (Tamps friend) 1
Rose 1
Ryan G 4
Scugi 4
Sean (OJ Marc friend) 1
Sharon A 2
Sharon H 4
Ska 6
Steve (OJ Marc friend) 2
Stu 1
Su 7
Tamp 9
Tommy (Wendy friend) 1
Trent Eman 3
Uvegas 2
Wendy (Chorba work friend) 1
Will T 1
Yvette G 5
Yo 1

Day 7 Stats: Grievances and The Economy

Day 8 will be at Katmandu in Trenton


These stats were written by CPL and edited by gman


Day 7 events:

- CPL’s wife Kathy (aka CPK) gets her virgin TDDoC point, when asked how was it for you, she replies delightful

- Returning to the scene of the original crime is… Polo… SCORE. We recruited Polo in 2001 at the Big Fish and she has made her annual return

- Michele D(the first woman to achieve all 12 days), Jana and Larry (not CP) also make their first (BUT I have been assured not final) appearance at TDDoC 2008.

- Danielle and Gina are behind the bar serving up great drinks


OK, after many hundreds of emails ramrodding(un-ramrodding?) the avoidance of the Route 1 corridor, Day 7 is officially opened up by CPL making a WHYYYYYY!? call to Gman who says "he is almost there" at the Big Fish on Rt 1. For future reference, when G says he is almost there means "bite me, I am not finished breaking one off on seating choice #7 in the G-Man NJ residence and I will be there in an hour or so". After finding the only open seat at the bar (OK, the second of two open seats, one of which was closely guarded by an english accented woman waiting for what turned out to be a friend she had not seen in a long while....yawn, where was I?) Oh yeah, Danielle delivers a Stella and CPL waits patiently for another TDDoCer to arrive..........
Someone appears and CPL gives up his seat to a holiday/birthday weary (see day 1) Laura "the Architect" Costanza....... SKA appears not too long after and is soon followed by Kathy (Mrs CPL aka CPK)....CPL is married? The crowd begins to gather as CPK wanders in to Restoration Hardward to pick up some rusty brackets and arrives after a few minutes to get the second of 2 Reisling's (yuck). Polo shows and apparently she has been shopping at Victoria's Secret and of course claims the item is for herself. At some point to avoid us guessing/seeing as to what the item is, she folds up the 10x10 mini logo'd shopping bag with its contents into the approximate size of a matchbook and tucks it into her purse...... I will resume typing after I stop sweating.....

I am back....

Mertz arrives, and then all at once it seems that Billionaire Pat Worth and friend (name?), Chris and Blair (Americom members), Mertz (no intro required), guy with Ponytail (Mike?), young guy (I know his name but forget) hitting on Laura...., Eman, Tamps, Russ and Ralph,Goettle, Dorian and Donna and Gman and Felicia (Gman's long lost sister's husband brother's uncle's wife i think). Pretty much as Mertz leaves, Scugi arrives.......

Lot's of pocket conversations ranging from "why did I get laid off?" to "i wish i did not have to work anymore" to "i have not seen you since golfing season" to "for the love of pete, I do not want to see any more pictures of grandpa". Su is there as well, but dissapears into the crowd before I can say hi. I can, however, from across the bar see her mouthing "why do you need to drink so much?" to G. G of course is downing the world's palest grey goose and cranberry ever made (recipe: wave the bottle of cranberry juice near the glass of ice and then fill to the top with vodka).... Freight train scheduled for 3am
Danielle is gleefully showing off a new winning streak McNabb tattoo, which usually would cause most Giant fans to moan, but this one appears to be able to adapt to the current (bald version) of Donavan as well as the full blown afro version when needed...............................................................................................................................................

nuff said (its just below the armpit, of course). Not sure if any pictures were taken......

When Dorian and Donna arrive we ask them why they are not drinking with the PA chapter. Dorian starts firing off reasons as if he is a gunman in a tower picking off his prey one at a time. Apparently Dorian is tweaked by the fact that he did not receive points for last night’s attendance at the hockey game. When informed that he would not receive points in the NJ chapter either, he replied “I expected you guys to screw me, I didn’t expect them to. To hell with them, there is no longer a reason for me to drink with them”. Perhaps this is the scandal that we were looking for, point shaving scandals are always good TDDoC fodder…

It seems that airing of grievances has started, now we need to start telling people that don’t show up how disappointed we are in them

Gman, Chaty and Felicia ask for shots, Danielle supplies the shot in this long shot glass capable of handling 4 shots… it was very tasty

Gman is quietly trying to plan a supersecret party (not yet sanctioned by Su and has been in the planning stage for about 6 months ), but he is unaware that he can’t do anything quietly after 4 or 5 vodka and cranberry’s (described above) and a very healthy shot. Gets an elbow in the solar plexis from Su for talking about an unsanctioned supersecret party and nasty looks from everyone not invited to the supersecret party that is unlikely to every happen

Many tales of last years experience at Americana, when the RULE is invoked… what happens at Americana stays at Americana. if you want to know, you will just have to go to Americana when the TDDoC goes on the 23rd (disclaimer: preplanning is illegal and should be avoided at all times, those who preplan are considered ramrodders)

Felicia is married to my brother-in-law’s cousin. Which makes her technically no relation to me but she attends all of our family events so she is family.

CPL and CPK leave around 730 to "finish shopping" and shuttle daughter 1 of 2 to bball practice. No contact with the remote PA chapter (other than those in NJ attendance) at the time of departure....

If I missed anyone in the points please send an email to me only and it will be fixed tomorrow


Adam 1
Amato 1
Andrew 1
Art N 1
Big Lou 1
Bill H 1
Billionaire Pat Worth 1
Blair 1
Bobo 5
Chris Bode 1
Chris from SES 1
Chuck de Palma 1
Cole 7
Paul Conway 2
Conway brother in law Roger 1
Conway niece Ann 1
Conway sister in law Joan 1
Conway wife Jean 1
CPK 1
CPL 2
Danielle 1
Dmile 2
Donna 5
Dorian 6
El Chorba 1
Eman 7
Eric T 2
Felicia 5
German Micheal 3
Gina (Big Fish Barkeep) 2
Gman 7
Goettle 7
Jag 2
Jana 1
Jason 3
Jeff T (Tamps friend) 1
Jeremy V 2
John (Chorba work friend) 1
John Fallon 1
Julian 3
Julie N 1
Kaden 1
Karen (Chorba work friend) 1
Katherine 2
Kurt (Bobo neighbor) 1
Larry (NCP) 1
Laura 5
Lisa Eman 4
Lou D 2
Marissa (Felicia friend) 1
Marissa's twin sister 1
Mary T 1
Maureen D 2
Mel Farris 1
Mertz 4
Michele D 1
Michelle (Chorba work friend) 1
Mike C 1
Milot 4
Mosso 6
Mrs Scugi 1
OJ Marc 4
No Job Rob 1
Pam T (Tamps friend) 1
Polo 1
Randy 6
Rich T (Tamps friend) 1
Rose 1
Ryan G 3
Scugi 2
Sean (OJ Marc friend) 1
Sharon A 2
Sharon H 3
Ska 4
Steve (OJ Marc friend) 2
Su 6
Tamps 7
Tommy (Wendy friend) 1
Trent Eman 3
Uvegas 1
Wendy (Chorba work friend) 1
Yvette G 4
Yo 1

Day 6 Stats: From the Beginning

Day 7 Location: Big Fish Restaurant 3535 US Highway 1 Princeton, NJ 08540 (Princeton Market Fair)


Day 6 Statistics from City Streets, East Windsor:

We’ve made it to the halfway point of the TDDoC with a trimuphant return to East Windsor. At City Streets we are mere couple of miles from Mecca itself. I considered driving by the old plant before heading over to CS, then I decided why bother. I remember CS when it was a dark seafood restaurant with no view to the outside world. CS is definitely a much nicer place. After an afternoon of the group complaining about the location; how it’s hard to get to, the traffic is going to be bad, the weather is going to be bad, I don’t remember how to drive a car, etc., Ska wonders if anyone was going to show up. The question is would anyone get a “Why??” call if no one actually makes it there. Driving over from Newtown the traffic does backup a little on 95 at the Route 1, but clears up once past the exit. Smooth sailing all the way up Old Trenton road and make it to City Streets.

Inside we find Lisa Eman, Trent Eman, Randy and Cole sitting at a table. Trent has been waiting all day to order a quesadilla as apparently CS makes the best ones in the tri-state area. Various other folks begin showing up and good attendance is achieved for a cold, sleety Tuesday night. Ryan G (youngest member of the TDDoC) is playing with a new toy from the Williams that intrigues everyone. Some sort of rolling ball with the alphabet on it and lots of LED lights. About as much entertainment as to be expected on a Tuesday night.

The battle for TDDoC market share continues with the upstart PA chapter. Tonight their location is far from the NJ one so earning double points is very difficult. We decide that to spur interest in the NJ TDDoC we need some sort of scandal. As repeated TDDoC invites to Bernard Madoff (the wall street crook) and Rod Blagojevich (the governor of Illinois) go unanswered we realize we’ll have to create a scandal on our own. We kick around the idea of getting some unsuspecting individual liquored up, then as they are leaving a strategic call to the local police is made with the description of the car. These thoughts are quickly dismissed as being too cruel and we decide to continue to aggressively market the TDDoC as in the past. The last thing any of us wants is to go to congress asking for a bailout to continue TDDoC operations in 2009.

Last minute report is in. Apparently Eman, Ska, and Mertz each got comped a drink by the male bartender at City Streets. Not sure what is going on there, but all three are pushing hard for a first time, within the same year, repeat visit to CS. Since a repeat visit would be against the rules it was quickly dismissed.

Other statistical notes: Bobo and Dorian had gotten every point in both the NJ and PA chapters this year. However, both missed NJ last night. Bobo did call into CS from the PA location but does not per the rules gain a coveted NJ point. No first timers or even first timers for 2008 make an appearance last night. Seems like Tuesday night we were in maintenance mode.


Attendees: Lisa Eman, Trent Eman, Randy, Cole, Felicia, Mosso, Ska, Mertz, Gman, Su, Eman, Tamps, Goettle, Yvette G, Ryan G, Milot, Dmile

Day 5 Stats: Pizza Love

Day 6 Location: City Streets Cafe, Route 130, East Windsor (East Windsor being the place where the TDDoC was conceived)

Day 5 Items from JoJo's Pizza:

I'm sure I have stated this before but, I love pizza. So I'm glad I was back in town for what has become an annual trip to JoJo's, which is known to have some of the finest pizza in the Greater Trenton area. So while driving over, I decide to call the Eman to find out where he is and when he will be getting to JoJo's. This does not qualify as a "Why!!??" call since I'm not at the bar. This is more of a "When?" call. Eman answers and says he is not there yet, has already received the "Why!!??" call from Goettle. Eman reluctantly admits to me that he is at a basketball game...now this has become "What?!" call, or more accurately a "What the F|_|Ck?!!" call, considering E's known loathing of the game. As it happens, Trent has decided to be rebellious not by getting piercings, tattoos, or rap sheet, but by making the Doane Academy team just to torture his father. They were playing the team from AHA. No, not the Norwegian band popular in the 80's. Well, not exactly. AHA stands for the A-ha Hebrew Academy. I'm not kidding; look it up.

I go inside and find the G-man and Goettle families at a table and some other folks at the bar and the place is packed. As others come in there is no table or bar space that can accommodate everyone so crew ends up in various places throughout the room. Some of us decide to flit between tables and the bar and even stand between tables to talk. This is clearly giving the Hostess fits; I see her standing off to the side talking to herself. Actually, it looked more like arguing, or possibly scolding some imaginary friend for letting the dining area descend into such anarchy. We are clearly on some kind of secret probation. After a number of pizza eaten, which seem to take a long time to arrive we have consolidated down to one table, but the Hostess is not placated, and now banishes us to the bar. Which is fine, Bobo is still hungry and orders more pizza. Let's face it -- the bar is a better place for our ilk.

Many people in attendance, including a large number of LMCO Newtown folks. Sadly, I did not get to engage many of them, but they seem like a top notch motivated bunch. I promise to acquaint myself with them at the next opportunity. However, I was introduced to Felicia's friend Marissa, who claims to live nearby and have a twin sister. I just think it is chatter but eventually the sister shows accompanied by Gina from the Big Fish. This world is getting smaller, or quite possibly I spend too much time in bars. Eventually, Felicia, Gina, Marissa and her twin head off to some other bar. (I'm thinking road trip, like I need to go to another bar)

More pizza, more beer, talk of the Eagles play-off chances, crowd thins. I find myself at the bar talking with Uvegas about health issues due to our advanced years. I'm not aging well, but decide to continue drinking to outlast the last few folks from LMCO (Sharon H and Lou D) who are also seated next to me at the bar. Uvegas runs into someone he knows from High School. I guess I'm not the only one who is getting out too much. Eventually, Sharon H and Lou D make for the door for the journey back to PA. I feel complete now and Uvegas and I get out as well.

I have to leave you with this however. This has been a lot of talk this year about "Ramrodding", that is the pre-selection of bar venues occurring days prior to the date at which they will be attended. This has exceeded the usual harangue about points not awarded from prior years.

With that here is an excerpt of discussion I was privy to:

Felicia (to Eman and Ska): I hear we are going to the Big Fish on Wednesday? (keep in mind it is only Monday)
Eman: I don't think we are allowed to pre-plan like that.
Felicia: Well, that is what Gman told me. (whaaaaaa?!!?)
Eman: That is exactly what I wanted to hear (as if he were some kind of attorney taking a deposition).

Ramrodding evidence?? You make the call.

Regards, J. Ska

Attendees: Bobo, Cole, Donna, Dorian, Eman, Felicia, Gman, Goettle, Jason, Julian, Laura, Lisa Eman, Lou D, Marissa, Marissa's Twin Sister, Gina, OJ Marc, Randy, Rose, Ryan G, Sharon H, Ska, Su, Tamp, Trent Eman, Uvegas, Yvette G


Totals:
Adam
1
Amato
1
Andrew
1
Art N
1
Big Lou
1
Bill H
1
Bobo
5
Chris Bode
1
Chuck de Palma
1
Cole
5
Paul Conway
2
Conway brother in law Roger
1
Conway niece Ann
1
Conway sister in law Joan
1
Conway wife Jean
1
CPL
1
Dmile
1
Donna
4
Dorian
5
El Chorba
1
Eman
5
Eric T
2
Felicia
3
German Micheal
2
Gina (BF barkeep) 1
Gman
5
Goettle
5
Jag
2
Jason
3
Jeff T (Tamps friend)
1
Jeremy V
2
John (Chorba work friend)
1
John Fallon
1
Julian
2
Julie N
1
Kaden
1
Karen (Chorba work friend)
1
Katherine
2
Kurt (Bobo neighbor)
1
Laura
4
Lisa Eman
3
Lou D
2
Marissa (Felicia friend)
1
Marissa's Twin Sister 1
Mary T
1
Maureen D
2
Mel Farris
1
Mertz
2
Michelle (Chorba work friend)
1
Mike C
1
Milot
3
Mosso
4
Mrs Scugi
1
OJ Marc
3
No Job Rob
1
Pam T (Tamps friend)
1
Randy
4
Rich T (Tamps friend)
1
Rose
1
Ryan G
2
Scugi
1
Sean (OJ Marc friend)
1
Sharon A
2
Sharon H
3
Ska
2
Steve (OJ Marc friend)
2
Su
4
Tamps
5
Tommy (Wendy friend)
1
Trent Eman
2
Uvegas
1
Wendy (Chorba work friend)
1
Yvette G
2
Yo
1

Day 4 Stats: Princeton Pub Crawl

Monday December 15th is Day 5. It is at JoJo’s in Hamilton for Pizza, Beer, and MNF with the Eagles. http://www.jojostavern.com/

Then there were three. Just Katherine, Iron Joe and I at the bar. It was late. It was Saturday. Friday Happy Hour is over. The Princeton Pub Crawl was a success. It was a return to tradition and normalcy. It was the first night this year that we returned to a venue(s) from previous years. It was a night that saw the joyous return of Ska and Scuggi. Now it was time to leave the Witherspoon Grill and head out into the mean streets of Princeton. It wasn’t a brisk night, it was down right cold.

The Pub Crawl started at the Triumph (aka ‘umph). Ryan Goettle logged his first point promising to give Julian a run for points total in the junior division of the TDDoC. Even at 1 year old, Ryan knew to stay away from the beer at the umph. He literally nursed a bottle of milk at the bar. As soon as we had a quorum, we finished up our drinks and headed to the Yankee Doodle Tap room. There we found the Milots and the Sterns’ at the bar celebrating Scuggi’s birthday. With Ryan there, our age range spanned 63 years. We grabbed up bar space and ordered up some food. Bobo and Mary left the LMCSS Christmas party early to join us. Who is that in the Tux? Is that Rich Uncle Pennybags? No, it’s Dorian, looking dapper as ever. By his side is Donna, dressed to the nines. Seemingly from no where Ska slips in a side door. He just got back from a H00ker and H@ Your browser may not support display of this image.$h binge at The Haag. The heat in the YDTR is unbelievable, and as they say, if you can stand the heat go to Sotto’s, so off we went.

Sotto’s is a cavernous restaurant under ground. Bobo thought he identified Marlee Matlin Sotto’s, but relized that it wasn’t her, when he said “Hey, is that Marlee Matin?”, and she turned around and said, “No I am not her”. Sotto’s had a 2 piece band, but they were on break when we got there. When we went to the bar, the bartender must have recognized us, because we were asked if that Buffone guy was with us this year. The bartender said he was really into him last year. The cell phone reception is nonexistent in Sotto’s, so I was quite surprised when my phone rang when I was in the bathroom. It seems that it may be like those old radio antennas where if you are touching it and in the other hand you have something really big , you improve the reception. When the band came back out, we decided to head to the A&B.

Like at the first Christmas, there was no room for us at the inn, so we packed up had went over to the Witherspoon Grill ( why didn’t they think of that). It was nice and quiet there so we could talk and enjoy some fine spirits. The evening festivities started to break up.

“I’m heading home, Tamps, you got stats, right”

“Yeah, Tamps has stats, JoJo’s on Monday, right?”

Your browser may not support display of this image.“Good night”

Before I could say anything I realized I was ramroded into writing stats.

Friday nights attendees:

Goettle, Yevette G, Ryan G,Yo, Katherine, Laura, Randy, German Michael, Art N, Julie N, Eman, Lisa E, Cole, Mosso, G, Su, Scuggi, Marie, Milot, DMile, Bobo, Mary T, Dorian, Donna, Chris Botti, Mertz, Ska, Tamps

Point Totals:
Adam 1
Amato 2
Andrew 1
Art N 1
Big Lou 2
Bill H 2
Bobo 4
Chris Bode 1
Chuck de Palma 1
Cole 4
Paul Conway 3
Conway brother in law Roger 2
Conway niece Ann 2
Conway sister in law Joan 2
Conway wife Jean 2
CPL 2
Dmile 1
Donna 3
Dorian 4
El Chorba 2
El Eman 3
Eman 4
Eric T 2
Felicia 3
German Micheal 2
Gman 4
Goettle 4
Jag 2
Jason 2
Jeff T (Tamps friend) 2
Jeremy V 2
John (Chorba work friend) 2
John Fallon 1
Julian 2
Julie N 1
Kaden 2
Karen (Chorba work friend) 2
Katherine 3
Kurt (Bobo neighbor) 2
Laura 3
Lou D 2
Maria S 1
Mary T 1
Maureen D 2
Mel Farris 1
Mertz 3
Michelle (Chorba work friend) 2
Mike C 2
Milot 3
Mosso 4
OJ Marc 3
Pam T (Tamps friend) 2
Randy 3
Rich T (Tamps friend) 2
Ryan G 1
Scuggi 1
Sean (OJ Marc friend) 2
Sharon A 2
Sharon H 2
Ska 1
Steve (OJ Marc friend) 3
Su 3
Tamps 4
Tommy (Wendy friend) 2
Trent Eman 2
Wendy (Chorba work friend) 2
Yevette G 1
Yo 1

Day 3 Stats: Mojo's Workin.

Day 4 location – Princeton Pub Crawl. We will start at Triumph Brewing Company at 5 PM

The tentative itinerary for the pub crawl is: Triumph, Yankee Doodle Tap Room, Wineberies, the Sotto, and finally the Alchemist & Barrister


Day 3 Stats:

So here we are, the 10th edition of the TDDoC, and the lackluster display of the NJ chapter, normally the stalwart of this grueling event, has been nothing short of pathetic. CPL has more points than his business card and Ska put together, for crissakes. Did anyone read e-man’s stats for Day 2 – I ask you, when’s the last time e-man wrote stats lamer than mine? I am sure that we have sickened most of you with our low energy level and general apathy, while kudos should go to the newly formed PA chapter – their turnout and enthusiasm have been admirable. In fact, it seems that bailout fever has spread from Washington to the Mercer County area. Things have gotten so blasé that I’ve been sending myself “you sicken me e-mails” - bcc, of course, so I wouldn’t know who else is on distribution. BIG LOU hasn’t commented a single time (and then showed up) on how lame we are – that’s how lame we have been.

But fear not, NJ chapter fans from all over this planet. A team of really bored working people – experts on how to fritter away hours at work doing nothing but sending e-mail, dreaming of what bars and parties to go to, and which h00kers to visit - are using what little brain power remains after years and years of drinking, to analyze the situation and craft a comprehensive, no-holds barred solution. And you thought all our congressmen and senators did was figure out ways to bail out the auto industry – they also address the really serious problems in this country. Anyway, since these people are too busy hanging around airport men’s rooms and imagining what their pages look like naked, we’ve decided to take matters into our own hands. Here is what we’ve come up with: sometimes, we suck. We have no Ska, no Scugi. Billionaire Pat Worth has been drowning in Washington politics trying to push thru all kinds of financial reforms. Polo’s busy retracing her steps along the silk trade route. Buffy’s been lost ever since Larry Craig and Mark Foley were booted from Capitol Hill. In short, our primary shortcoming is that we’ve been short on some key people, some tall and some short, and shortly, that will change.

So will we resort to gimmickry to get our mojo back? Do we need rampant, reckless, and contagious displays of le$bianism? (note the clever use of the “$” for “s” to elude the LM e-mail filters) Do we need to hire the “Don’t Tase Me Bro” guy to be blasted by kilovolts of electricity? Do we need badges?

Before you respond, please take note that these questions are rhetorical. We are back. Last night proved it. The evidence is overwhelming and irrefutable. Beer flowed like Coors Light. Laughter was the music. Hijinks abounded. The shenaniganometer ticked up. Yes, “It’s Alive.”

So we’re at Manny Brown’s who must be Charlies’ richer, younger, and prettier brother. The beer selection almost caused e-man to toss off no fewer than a half dozen times. He loves those sweet Belg beers – and who doesn’t besides bobo and goettle and anyone else who has taste and taste buds. And the last time I saw e-man drink them, it was early morning on Groundhog Day, 2007. That day started off just like any day where the first thing to hit your lips before sunup is beer, and it ended just the way you might expect. With a little yak on the ground around lunchtime, but that’s another story.

So who else was there: the lovely and talented tamp, g-man, bobo, goettle, biker friend laura, dorian (sans a$$less chaps), donna, russ, bb (who just flew in from Boston, and boy, were his arms tired), Jason, Milot, Eric T, Adam, Fern, Jag, Jeremy, Kevin, Maureen, Sharon A, Mel (not vic tayback), Andrew, Sharon H., John Fallon, Chuckie D, and others.

Back to Manny Brown’s – it’s set in a strip mall and flanked by a Catholic shop on one side and a gun store on the other – in a 40-ft area, is everything Pennsylvanians need to cling to in these difficult times. The bar is long and narrow, like a bar in an old city neighborhood. There is barely enough room to fit the 4 people from the NJ chapter and the 4 dozen folks from the PA chapter. What would the PA chapter do without us NJ folks? Unfortunately, there’s not enough female traffic passing back and forth in the tight space in front of tamp, and now he is threatening to skip the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd halves of tonight’s Princeton Pub crawl. And speaking of tamp, he is not so patiently waiting for an apology from the American Indians for not clearing the land of the demon-weed tobacco and causing immeasurable suffering in the European settlers who took up smoking.

G-man ramrodded us into discussing his favorite topic – his detest of ramrodding – how ironic can you get? And apparently, the mob wars have abated, as g-man lost the pin stripe suit, red carnation (in the lapel) fedora, and tommy gun. Hey, has anyone seen Fredo lately? He was out fishing earlier this week. Speaking of fishing, my grandpa wanted me to wish you all a merry X-mas.

BB sampled the clams and wings before he had to high-tail it outta there to save his neighbor’s cat and resume his pet detecting duties.

And rumor has it that a certain heretofore absent TDDoC regular will make a grand entrance tonight – you’ll have to come out to see.


And the points totals:

(whatever; check the next post)

Day 2 Stats: Return of the Sausage Fest

Day 3 location - Manny Brown's, Newtown PA. Joint event with PA chapter. http://www.manny-browns.com/locations.php

Let's start off with "Al Linkevich - RIP". I found that in my pocket this morning written on a napkin, and not just a napkin, but a nicely torn napkin in a nearly perfect rectangular shape. Mertz had given it to me requesting tribute to his father-in-law who had passed earlier in the day. Cheers for Al. I trust he lived a long and happy life, with his only regret being not being able to make it out to the TDDOC. He certainly could be proud of his son-in-law, though, for taking out all of his grandchildren to a bar for TDDOC in 2006.

Attendees: Cole, randy, german michael, mosso, conway, tamps, mertz, big lou, chaty, steve, eman, bobo, dorian, amato, gman, su, julian, felicia, goettle

Day 2 Location: Pete's Steak House, Hamilton, NJ.
Why is it called Pete's Steak House? Well, for its world-famous steaks, of course, that everyone travels for miles around to enjoy. Wait, what's that you say…..no one in the place is eating steak and most people are eating Italian-type dishes? What are you saying? That you don't like steak? WHY do you hate America?

This place used to be a dump. If you had a job, family, more than $10 in your pocket, owned a car or bicycle, or was a citizen of any officially recognized country in the world, you weren't allowed to hang out here. But now, Pete's has been renovated and now has a lovely drop ceiling, with the ceiling tiles painted a fire-engine red. Why, you ask? Yes, indeed, you should be asking that.

Cole's point is controversial, as it was first reported that he had showed up, no one was there, and then left, and does that mean he gets a point? Then Mosso pipes up "I saw him" as he orders a drink with a $20 bill that has the phrase "Russ, this $20 is yours if you say I was there, Thanks, Cole" written on it. I trust Russ fully and gave Cole a point. Wait, a late report has Cole giving Russ a WHHYYY? call. Controversy solved!

Crack Pipe Larry called in for his point. He was drinking Night Train out of a paper bag in the church parking lot outside his daughters' Christmas concert. Strains of "On the second day of Xmas, my dad drank in the parking lot" could be heard in the background.

Sausage Fest…..Wow!! I haven't seen this high of a guy/girl ratio since the last time I was in a YMCA locker room. (Thankfully at that time the ratio was just 1/0, but you get the point). Well, Su and Felicia did show up, and what woman wouldn't be fired up at the prospect of hanging out with so many hot guys at once? Well, the bad news for them was that they were NOT hanging out with hot guys, but just a bunch of old tired washed up losers (and Chaty). The one moment of a glimmer of non-masculinity was provided by our quick and expedient server Carla, who inadvertently flashed one of these while bending over to get something behind the bar:.

Your browser may not support display of this image.

Why did I accept the task of writing stats for this night? Even with my fertile and disturbing imagination, it's difficult to come up with material.

Bobo and Dorian take off early to wh0re themselves out to the PA chapter, or as they said it "I can't wait to get my hands on some of those ice-cold Miller Lites in a bucket at Miller's Ale House in Langhorne PA".

Things are slow in the NJ TDDOC. We are struggling through our own tough economy..…Ska and Scugi are on travel…..the PA chapter has stolen many of our best and brightest (no one comes to mind)……the Williams chapter has stolen some too. The Williams chapter was started by a group (OK, one person) whose idea of adventure and merriment at the holidays is watching television from a different spot on the couch each night. Apparently the Williams chapter has hit on hard times as well (see below).

The williams TDDoC2008 has no energy either, the different chair per night has dwindled to finding a new spot on the rug to sit on, instead of alcohol we are drinking hot apple cider, the conversation consists on the impacts of bees and cross pollination

Pix for Day 2 can be found at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/46186008@N00/collections/72157611008444548/
All Important Point Totals:
Amato 1
Big Lou 1
Bill H 1
Bobo 2
Cole 2
Paul Conway 2
Conway brother in law Roger 1
Conway niece Ann 1
Conway sister in law Joan 1
Conway wife Jean 1
CPL 1
Donna 1
Dorian 2
El Chorba 1
El Eman 1
Eman 2
Eric T 1
Felicia 2
German Micheal 1
Gman 2
Goettle 2
Jag 1
Jason 1
Jeff T (Tamps friend) 1
Jeremy V 1
John (Chorba work friend) 1
Julian 1
Kaden 1
Karen (Chorba work friend) 1
Katherine 1
Kurt (Bobo neighbor) 1
Laura 1
Lou D 1
Maureen D 1
Mertz 1
Michelle (Chorba work friend) 1
Mike C 1
Milot 1
Mosso 2
OJ Marc 2
Pam T (Tamps friend) 1
Randy 2
Rich T (Tamps friend) 1
Sean (OJ Marc friend) 1
Sharon A 1
Sharon H 1
Steve (OJ Marc friend) 2
Su 1
Tamps 2
Tommy (Wendy friend) 1
Trent Eman 1
Wendy (Chorba work friend) 1

Day 1 Stats: The Convergence

Ahhh - Glorious Day 1 was finally at hand - but wait, was it really Day 1? Yes indeed it was for the NJ chapter. But for the fledgling PA franchise it was now Day 2 and for the West Coast chapter it was like

Day 6 already but who gives a crap about them and how they count (oh and eff Peterman whoever he is - the CPL of the WC TDDoC).

Day 2 Location: Before I go any further, I should RAMROD home that we will be at Pete's (not Goettle) Steakhouse Tavern, 523 White Horse Ave, Hamilton, NJ for Day 2. (could not find a website). It's on the corner of White Horse-Mercerville and White Horse Ham Square Rds. Additional parking in the rear (Ohhhhhhh!). Looks like the best way to get there is off 295 from the Arena drive exit - then left on White Horse. Some of the NJ crew did a rehearsal dry run here last week on Day -4. Great food, friendly locals, OK beer selection and a big buxom barmaid with an IQ of 50.

hyperlink to map for Pete's



Once again, for the 2nd straight year, we were without our tradish old reliable Day 1 locale - CBs - which appears to be forever under remodeling/new ownership. Rumors abound of it being turned into an Indian restaurant or a library sadden what's left of my soul.

However, this day was historic for a few reasons:
1 - it was the first unification/conglomeration/convergence of both the NJ and PA chapters at the same venue (hopefully more to come)
2 - Bobo had a real live neighbor in tow proving they were not just cardboard cutouts hanging out and drinking in his driveway
3 - Rumors that another fledgling TDDoC franchise had sprung to life in of all places Buffalo, NY (I knew we should have copyrighted this thang)

Ahhh Glorious Day 1!

We began to assemble at the Firken Tavern in Ewing, NJ. Cheap food (50 cent Tacos, half price happy hour apps), great beer selection, giant Jenga, pool table, a few local hotties and it was College Night – what more could you ask for? It's no Salt Creek Grille though...

Day 1 Attendees in no particular order: Bobo neighbor Kurt, Bobo, El Chorba, El Chorba work friends Wendy, Karen, Michelle, John, Wendy friend Tommy, Mosso (2007 Rookie of the Year), Cole, Tamps, Katherine, Laura (arm in sling due to another senseless biking accident), Tamps friends Rich T, Pam T, Jeff T (no relation to Tamps despite all the
T's), Dorian, Donna, Jag, Sharon H, Sharon A, Eman, Trent Eman, El Eman, Milot, Lou D, Goettle, CPL, OJ Marc, OJ Marc friend Sean, other OJ Marc friend Steve, Gman, Su, Maureen D, Eric T, Bill H, Conway, Mrs Conway, Mrs Conway sister, Mrs Conway sister husband, Conway niece, Kaden (nice!), Felicia, Jason, Jeremy V, Mike C.

First to arrive was Bobo neighbor and newbie Kurt who fumbled the Whyyyyyy! call duties. Bobo arrives and quickly covers with a Whyyyyyy call to Eman. Bobo thinks about goin' round the world on the 24+ taps but Ska is nowhere to be found so what's the point? Speaking of Ska, he has an excused absence with duties in The Hague (quick - name another city with "the" in it?). Reports are that he is really there to update his wardrobe with some fancy euro pants (zippers, buttons and snaps) - his old pair ripped due to the size of his massive te$ticles (can you say ball$ deep) and from bangin' cocktail waitresses two at a time. Other excused absences are for Scugi and BB who are abroad making sure there is no shortage of alcohol for all these TDDoC chapters that are cropping up. They should be back by Friday (Day 4). All other no shows deserve a big $uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck call. This includes Mertz, Big Lou, Pods, Yo, MD, Kimchick, ex-Billionaire P. Worth. Eff you guys.

On the first day of TDDoC, Goettle gave to me - one disturbing photo of me peeing in the men's room. WTF? By the way, where does one take a dump in that little closet off the bar they call a men's room? All I saw was 1 sink, 1 urinal, 1 trash can and 1 floor that looked (and smelled) like the monkey cage at the zoo. Yikes.

There was a birthday in the house - Tamps friend Laura (with arm in sling) celebrated with several friends some of which who had a back door connection to Bobo neighbor Kurt via BMS. Could there be a BMS chapter in the making?

Appearance of the Gman was frightening - decked out in his Godfather suit - if he were to kiss me on both cheeks (on my face), I knew a hit on me would follow from the Club 10 crew.

There was some mischief with Sharon A and her boot but Bobo refused to drink from it (forever scarred from the Mertz loafer incident 10 years ago).

Despite a massive $ucccccccccck! call earlier, CPL makes a heroic appearance at the end of the evening and actually has 2 beers - Bravo!

It's real early but Rookie of the Year (ROY) candidate in NJ is up in the air - could be the guy/girl next to you right now - look out!

All of us out by 10:30 or so except Sharon H and Lou D - Sharon H is shaping up to be MVD for the PA crew. Sharon A refused to follow Bobo all the way up Rt 29 (Ohhhhh!) for the return trip to Pennsyltucky despite Eman's pleas.

Pix for Day 1 can be found at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/46186008@N00/collections/72157611008444548/

All Important Point Totals (all have 1; collect all 12):
Bill H
Bobo
Cole
Conway
Conway brother in law Roger
Conway niece Ann
Conway sister in law Joan
Conway wife Jean
CPL
Donna
Dorian
El Chorba
El Eman
Eman
Eric T
Felicia
Gman
Goettle
Jag
Jason
Jeff T (Tamps friend)
Jeremy V
John (Chorba work friend)
Kaden
Karen (Chorba work friend)
Katherine
Kurt (Bobo neighbor)
Laura
Lou D
Maureen D
Michelle (Chorba work friend)
Mike C
Milot
Mosso
OJ Marc
Pam T (Tamps friend)
Rich T (Tamps friend)
Sean (OJ Marc friend)
Sharon A
Sharon H
Steve (OJ Marc friend)
Su
Tamps
Tommy (Wendy friend)
Trent Eman
Wendy (Chorba work friend)

2008 Begins on the 9th

Ahhhhh, darkness at 4:30, freezing cold air, the sweet melodies of frequent noseblows, and inescapable Christmas music in every nook and cranny of the face of the earth....it must mean....it's time for....

THE 12th ANNUAL (EXCEPT 1998) FESTIVAL OF.....THE TWELVE DRINKING DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (TDDoC)!!! This year's theme is the economy. What could be more American than coming to a bar and spending your money on American alcoholic liquids and putting hops growers, potato growers, and grape stompers across the US back to work? Caution….some of those alcoholic liquids have been produced by non-American companies in France. Please discourage your co-revelers from drinking non-American.

START DATE: TUESDAY, DEC. 9
LOCATION: Firkin' Tavern, West Trenton, NJ (a hop skip but no jump from route 1 corridor). Legendary traditional (in other words, really lame) Day 1 spot Charlie Brown's is still closed due to repair or perhaps bankruptcy due to all of the raisin bread stolen from the salad bar over the years by Crack Pipe Larry. Rejoice that the Day 1 location has been chosen and advertised this early. This will be the last time during this event that you will be this happy.

Now for the details. For those that are new to the TDDoC, I've included the following Guidelines. For those that are familiar with the TDDOC format, you may still want to re-acquaint yourself. It's not as easy as riding a bike. It's almost as easy as drinking, but not quite.

Guidelines-
1. For the purpose of the Festival, working days in which you could drink AFTER WORK are considered "Drinking Days". (I know that the term "Drinking Days" causes some controversy every year as it is easily and often argued that every day is a "Drinking Day"). Traditionally the Festival begins on the date that allows 12 "Drinking Days" to occur prior to Christmas Day - This year it's the 9th of December. Unlike other chapters throughout the country (especially those in the greater San Jose area and west of the Delaware River in general), there will be no special exceptions due to plant closings, postal holidays, moon/earth alignments or other such nonsense. The twelfth day of the event will as always occur on Dec. 24.

2. Attendance is scored by showing up and drinking with your friends, colleagues, soon-to-be-friends, other peoples' neighbors, and assorted annoying bores. Any action to discourage someone from showing up simply because they have bad breath, poor eating manners, or are a pompous a$$ is severely frowned upon. This is good fodder for the stats (see guideline # 7). However, unwillingness to imbibe can of course be held as a strike against any otherwise worthy candidate. Agreeing to participate in an "a$$-off" is generally considered as a reasonable substitute for drinking, unless you are a man.

Tradition has it that there is a one-drink minimum to be awarded a Point. Anyone on travel during The 12 Days & gathering in the spirit of The 12 Days will, of course, be considered participants if they 1) are actually drinking and 2) submit Stats. Please note that the official TDDOC definition of "considered" is "not considered". Phoning in alone does not enable point awardance but is highly encouraged to aid the home team in stats preparation. Drinking by yourself does not count, and drinking with some casual loser work friend if that loser is not involved in the larger effort does not count either. If you want a point for drinking with that casual loser work friend, you will need to drag them out to multiple mainstream TDDOC events in order for your miserable time with them to count. Whoever has the highest Tally of Points on Day Twelve will be awarded a coveted TDDoC trophy, and, as always, be obligated to abuse those that fell short in their quest to be the champion for their lameness. Never mind that said trophy has NEVER been awarded. It sounds good on paper.

Far and away the most significant value of the point system is to incur repeated heated discussions, fisticuffs, and "airing of the grievances". Please keep this in mind and argue about points that you "should have had" as often as possible.

3. Any adult-beverages consumed outside these events (weekends, from the bottom-drawer at work, at breakfast.. .) is regarded as Practice for The 12 Days and will not be scored. However, as in any hard-core sporting event, practice is highly encouraged.

4. Events are to be held in a different pathetic central NJ (or perhaps other states, as long as they are east of the Delaware river) establishment each of The 12 Days. Suggestions for events at further-away locations are, as always, highly encouraged, and yet, as always, highly unlikely.

5. Invitees are by no means limited to those addressed in this initial distribution. This is an open invitation. Any stiff that you can drag out is more than welcome. Participants should also encourage breakout chapters in other sections of the country. Once again, the San Jose CA will also be in full working order, and rumor has it that another chapter may have been chartered west of the Delaware. Unfortunately, due to complications from Sarbanes-Oxley, the OJ Simpson legal trial, and public campaign for Congo the dog, the Dulles VA chapter has received a $20 billion subsidy from the US government yet still cannot square up on previous bar bills and is defunct.

6.Family events, work parties, watching Alf re-runs, having to "wash
your hair" that night, removal of bodily organs (aka "the kidney card"), spending time with loved ones, etc. are to be considered POOR excuses for missing TDDoC events. These may be important during other parts of the year but during the TDDoC festivities, please try to focus on what is really important, i.e. "Where are we drinking tonight?".

7. Which brings us to the daily Stats.

a) Stats are to be published the following day, with enough time to prepare for that day's event (i.e. before/during lunch), by an elected or forced stat-writer. This responsibility traditionally rotates between participants. Amendments and/or additions to the original published Stats are not only welcome but, in fact, encouraged (Different points of view can be awfully amusing). HOWEVER, rebuttals should stick to the general topic of TDDoC and the stats. Using the distribution list for sharing of personal jokes, "cool" youtube videos, and/or naked pictures of one's own butt are highly discouraged and the author will be placed on distribution for every Internet junk e-mail list possible.

b)The Stats have generally been a free-form record - Including, but not limited to, the night's activities (should at least cover the basics, where when who etc), discussion topics (politics, sports, fashion, WHATEVER), liquids consumed (cooking/dipping oils and food condiment consumption are especially welcome here) and any patriotic songs sung.

c) Include an announcement/proposal as to where the next night's gathering
is to be.

d) And the running Point Tally.

e) Stats are an ideal forum to introduce Suggested Topics for that night's discussion. Throw out a topic or two you (the scribe) would like to see tabled during the night's activities. This of course may (and likely will) be completely ignored.

f) Stats of course need not be true!! Embellishment and downright manufacture of the details is highly encouraged!

g) Note: Use of the word "scribe" itself is highly discouraged in East Coast chapters.

8. WHYYY?? call: It is standard for the first person who shows at that night's event to vent their frustration from having to sit at the bar by themselves like a huge loser by calling another participant on their cell phone and yelling "WHY????" into the phone, which is of course short for "WHY am I drinking alone?". Per custom, it is encouraged to then hang up the phone prior to allowing the recipient of the phone call to respond in any manner. No special bonuses are awarded for this other than the personal satisfaction of taking out your societal anger on an unsuspecting other party. Anyone caught making a bogus "WHYYY??" call (NOT the first one at the bar, NOT alone at the bar, or NOT even at the bar) may be subjected to a "NUTKX", which is a Windows Vista software module which will provide the user with a swift kick to the privates upon next logon to work computer as punishment for violation of important social norms. NUTKX may also be provided manually by the recipient of the bogus WHYYY?? call or by the bartender.

9. Contests, competitions, shenanigans: Contests such as no-repeat beer quest (not repeating a brand/style of beer for the entire 12 days), no-repeat tequila shots, drinking your drink out of another's shoe, duels at 20 paces, and of course footraces are highly encouraged.

10. Alleged celebrity sightings: Always encouraged, always highly unlikely. It is believed that there has been only a single alleged celebrity sighting in the history of the TDDoC: the alleged sighting of Lilleth from Cheers in the Main Street Bistro circa 1999. Please try for more, and if encountered do your best to engage them in either (1) drinking heavily or (2) mean-spirited fisticuffs.

11. Hard liquor of the day: The first person at the bar (or first person that cares to do so) is encouraged to name a hard liquor of the day, and all are encouraged to imbibe in said liquor at some point during the evening, be it in a mixed drink, shot, straight up, or pouring it over one's own head. Shouts of "ALRIGHT, WHERE'S THE HARD LIQUOR?" (copyright The Thomas E. Hawker Foundation) should of course accompany said activity.

12. Pre-season: According to Tamps, there is no pre-season and no points for any efforts shall be awarded….according to Tamps. I'm just sayin'.

So, without further adieu, clear out your calendar and load up your office desk drawer with hangover remedies!!

Decruitment at Americom

So what's all this then? We heard about some changes at SES. Combining New Skies with Americom into one operation. Hmm, who wins this one? The bloated bureaucratic boat based in The Hague (dude, that's in Holland) or the old RCA money-making machine in Princeton? Alas, let us think about this one, mates. Severance for Euro-based employees must be at least 2 years salary and who knows what else. The U.S. headcount is a bargain, with a few weeks per year of service. Seems simple. But wait, they're getting rid of old people, African-Americans, women. Uh-oh, better check ethics:

Use merit, qualifications (e.g. education, experience, competencies, etc.) and other job-related criteria, complying with applicable laws, as the sole bases for all employment-related decisions affecting employees and applicants.

Throw in a re-org where the Euros run the show and you've got yourself a winner. Remember, the E in SES does not stand for "equality" (Société Européenne des Satellites). What's next? Destroy engineering -- especially those with good opinions based on fact.

No, I'm not bitter. I just need a drink.