Other important information from the Winberies website:
Who’s Dining in?
-Locals, students, and late night theater patrons
-Many famous Princetonians such as Brooke Shields
–her name has even been carved into one of our tables
-Sports fans celebrating a Princeton Football or Lacrosse team win
-The Olympic Rowing team while they train at the University on Carnegie Lake
So whether you are a late night theater patron or Brooke Shields herself, please come out tonight and "have at it" (explained below).
Day 6 Stats, Killarney's Publick House, Hamilton, NJ
I wake up at 4AM thinking "oh lord please hold off this bowel movement until morning because I'm too tired to get up and take care of this now". Hopefully the lord himself didn't need to deal with this inconsequential request, but apparently the lord has delegated it to some sort of intern because I get up at 6 and find no unwanted surprises in my clothing. However a quick run to the facilities is still warranted. I sit there scratching my head, wondering how a nightly dose of a small meal and a couple of beers can somehow be transformed in the digestive system into a collection of output that is about equal in size and volume to a concrete block. It sure seems the basic physics principle of conservation of mass is being violated here somehow.
But back to last night..I show up early at Killarney's to find Scugi and Rebecca at the bar. Rebecca has apparently already utilized her entire monthly minutes allocation on her cell phone sending WHHYYY calls to everyone she's ever met and even to random numbers she starts dialing. Apparently people have become hip to the WHYYYY call, as none of her calls have been answered. In tonight's "that's not news" department, Scugi has a picture on his iPhone of the attractive bartender working tonight, from when the TDDOC visited Killarney's last year. If you see an attractive bartender tonight, please immediately ask Scugi to show you the picture of her from last year.
What exactly is a Publick House? Why a "K"? Is this where some sort of ancient gaelic drinking game involving getting really drunk and licking a pub began? Could this have been the precursor to beer pong? Am I reading too much into this? Actually I may not as this really really bothered Goettle, so much so that he asked the question out loud at least 5 times, and once, he even interrupted a discussion about his granpa's fishing habits to ask the question. That's some serious concern, because as some of you well know, Goettle is very passionate when it comes to Granpa fishing, particularly when discussing the kind of bait that he uses.
I order a Longhammer IPA (because, as some later observe, I believe that I have a long hammer....or at least they said that that's what they think I believe). I get it served to me in this cool tall thin glass that resembles a Collins glass (who is this guy Collins and what'd he do to get a glass style named after him??). I admire it briefly and then get tapped on ths shoulder by a guy walking by who says "isn't that a really good beer?". I say yes, and then turn away quickly, fearing that this may be the Mike the Homicical Maniac of Killarney's, and lizarding of my hand may be soon to follow. It turns out he's the manager so apparently no killing for now. Ska shows up and orders the same beer but gets it in a standard glass. We asked the bartender why and she says there's only two of the special glasses. Immediately a "Where's Waldo" type game breaks out where we try to spot the other Longhammer glass in the bar. We spot it momentarily at the waitress station, but then it disappears. Next thing you know it shows up in Ska's hand....but at this point I have lost mine. Hopefully these things are being cleaned somewhere along the way.
Su orders some sort of shrimp platter reminiscent of the "tower of shrimp" appetizer made world-famous by the Big Fish. However, this has more of a suburban feel, as the shrimp are laid out in a wheel shape encompassing 3 hectares. Other food follows....some pretty tasty wings, a burger that Gman declares to be "pretty damn good", some questionable nachos, and of course the prided of Ireland, swedish meatballs.
Erod, Lin, and Rebecca lament missing the tradish Tuesday night Mah Jong game this week due to other urgent critical priorities (duh, the TDDOC). When asked "what exactly is Mah Jong?", Rebecca produces a Mah Jong tile from her pocket. Are you required to carry these things around as part of the game? Erod, Lin, and Rebecca decide to rival the PA TDDOC chapter's Olympic night with an Olympic Mah Jong night next Tuesday on Day 9. Please bring a few tiles in your pocket if interested. If you don't have tiles, perhaps bring a few dominoes, jacks, or some playing cards.
Cole's wife Lori shows up for her first point of the year and at some point in the discussion she gives Cole permission to "have at it". You fill in the blank as to what "it" all encompasses and what he may have. Better yet, Cole, please write a stats addendum specifying all "it"s that you had. If not, I'll be forced to sketch an artist's rendition for my next stats. As for the rest of you, if you're married, I'd highly suggest that you get permission to have at it tonight....in case an appropriate opportunity arises.
Reese is spotted drinking a mistletoe martini. When quizzed further, she confides that it contains Midori. Who knew that mistletoe was in the melon family? It's OK, it looked festive. Sophia is there....then leaves.....and then is back later. She is clearly leading this year's TDDOC in "In and Outs". She is going in and out a lot. Sandor shows up, and Ska quickly engages him in some spirited discussion about the good old days, when Hungary controlled most of the eurozone (or, as it was called then, the Hungozone). Celeste shares a rumor that she read on Hermain Cain's twitter feed that Rebecca may be sleeping with one of the elders to curry favor. This is quickly stricken down as a bad rumor, as we all know that (a) there are no elders and (b) clearly there is no time for sleep with all of this TDDOC activity. I believe Rebecca may have reeled in several of her offspring to attend the night's event as well, although they could have been just part of the random herd of twentysomethings that rolled in past 9:00. (We shall correct the point total if needed). Poor Killarney's...once word gets out on the street that a bunch of old people have started hanging out there, their run as a hip nightclub is clearly over, and soon they will be charging people $4 a head to line dance.
Much consideration was given to altering the route of the Princeton Pub Crawl this year. One idea included the last stop being Cole's bedside since he will not be able to come out tonight due to some space-age transformation of his eyesight to give him the capability to see through women's clothes. This was immediately shot down by Eman due to it being "too far away". A second idea included a stop at Starbucks for lattes and some good conversation, a stop at Panera bread for some whole wheat sandwiches to help with any digestive problems, and then culminating with a stop at Talbot's where all revelers could buy Aunt Martha that new scarf that she so badly needs. This was shot down quickly too, as Pods called in and said it was "too butterflyin", and "LAME" appeared at the same time on BIG LOU's twitter feed. Eman also complained that it was "too far away". So apparently we will stick with the more standard pub-like establishments on the route. Please be sure to bring LOTS of money, as Gman will eagerly tell you that shots of vodka cost $20 at many if not all of the locations to be visited tonight (shots are slightly cheaper at Talbot's).
No comments:
Post a Comment