Day 3 @ Bill's Olde Tavern

Day 4: Hillbilly Hall Tavern & Restaurant 203 Hopewell-Wertsville Road , Hopewell, NJ 08525 (609) 466-9856 13 miles from Rt 1 & Rt 295



Bill's Olde Tavern:

This place is old; I haven't been in here since the late 90s for some kind of DMSP thing. This was before Lockheed fired me and possibly before the TDDoC was even conceived. But I will tell you what...the place doesn't look to have changed. Perhaps they know "olde" is in the name and don't want to be accused of leading people on. Walking through the parking lot, Russ attempts to run me down with his Cadillac and that throaty sounding V8 it has. He is so macho. One day, maybe, I'll be that cool. I walk in and ask where the bar is and have to step over a table that is situated almost directly in front the doorway to the dining room. This is common in a busy restaurant but the dining room is empty on this chilly Tuesday evening. I give it no mind and find the bar room with Scugi and some others in attendance.

Scugi is first. He is always first. I'm pretty sure he may have been first back in 1997 when this thing started. He is probably the all time leader in "Why" calls. Mertz (who isn't there) does a lot of these too, but he is usually at the wrong bar, so it doesn't count. It seems like Eman (who hasn't arrived yet) sends many of these as well, but many of these are actually text messages and if you look closely if you will notice these are actually inadvertently forwarded messages from the public radio station WHYY. (Additional trivia, Terry Gross and Martie Moss-Coane have never earned TDDoC points).

Most of usual folks are there or arrive in quick time. And as usual, CPL is not there. He said he had a reason. It's true he does have a reason, but it isn't the reason he gave, nor has it ever been any of the ones he has ever give. He is just CPL, and that is reason enough. He does have a bike though. Eff CPL.

You know what is good about Bill's -- it has food. You know what people don't like about Bill's -- it has food. The have the same perogi available at Al's Airport Inn, which there, is quaintly charming, Not so much here. Also they have macaroni and cheese, which apparently is just a frozen Stouffers dumped on a plate, and only slightly heated. But they do have fried pickles. Why? I don't know.

But the bar room is great. In fact they have several bar rooms. You could have a pub crawl and never leave the property. We talked about it, but never actually left the room we were in. Why leave? We are all here. Inertia.

We a little disappointed to find that "tomorrow" there is free beer at Bill's. Every tomorrow, just not today, there is a sign. There is also a sign in the men's room stating that Bill's will have Kinky Quizzo. I don't know if that is a risque trivia game, or the name of a stand-up comic, or possibly some kind of communicable disease. Any way this goes, the photo is quite old (or olde, in this case) judging by the hairstyles and dress of those in the photos.

In a total elevation of ridiculousness, we are informed that coconuts do not migrate. I'll just leave it at that. But in a more casual elevation of the ridiculousness, the following conversation is overheard:

Reese: I'm originally from Lynchburg, Virginia
Celeste: My boyfriend, Sneakers O'Toole, is from Lynchburg Virginia.
Reese: Wait, your boyfriend is Sneakers O'Toole? He is my ex-husband and still owes me money for those hair plugs.

Admittedly, parts of this are clearly fabricated. But it leads us to a new game we will be playing this week. At some well timed point in any conversation simply say:
"Wait a minute...your boyfriend is Sneakers O'Toole. He is (or was) ______________________________________ and __________________________________________. Bastard.", filling in the blanks with blatantly ridiculous claims. The goal is new heights of ridiculousness.



I hope to talk to all of you at some point this week. But the truth is, I don't like people. But I'm trying.

The tally (we never did ask who is Bill):

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Firkin Tavern

Dublin Square

Olde Bills Tavern

Stats by Eman

Stats by Tamp

Stats by Ska

Total

Al Janeck

x

1

Art Neufeld

x

1

Andrew (Gman)

x

x

2

Benny

x

1

Billy Bob

x

1

Bobo

x

1

Bode

x

1

Brandy

x

1

Brendan

x

1

Bubba

x

1

Caitlyn (Brandy's Daughter)

x

1

Celeste

x

x

x

3

Chaty

x

1

Cheryl Cohen

x

1

Chorba

x

1

Cole

x

x

x

3

Donny Walker

x

1

el Chorba

x

1

Ed Rodgers

x

1

Eman

x

x

x

3

Eric (Cole son)

x

1

Erin Rodgers

x

1

Frank Kimchick

x

1

Gman

x

x

x

3

Jenna Walker

x

1

Joe Chubb

x

1

Julian

x

x

2

Kaden

x

1

Kermit Fitzgerald

x

1

Kevin Duddy

x

x

x

3

Lin (Rebecca Friend)

x

x

2

Lisa Eman

x

x

x

3

Lisa Walker

x

1

Maria Scigu

x

x

2

Mark T

x

1

Martha Veleska

x

1

Marty Veleska

x

1

Matt Pross

x

1

Mertz

x

x

2

Michelle (Sophia Friend)

x

1

Milot

x

x

2

Mini G (Brandy's Son)

x

1

Mosso

x

x

x

3

Mrs Benny

x

1

Mrs Mechanic

x

1

Nancy (Erod Friend)

x

1

Norine

x

1

Pam Toft

x

1

Pat Worth

x

x

2

Rebecca

x

x

x

3

Reese

x

x

x

3

Rich Toft

x

1

Sandor

x

1

Scugi

x

x

x

3

Ska

x

x

x

3

Sophia

x

x

x

3

Su

x

x

x

3

Tamp

x

x

x

3

The Mechanic

x

1

Trent Eman

x

x

x

3

Tytla

x

1

Xtine

x

1

Yo

x

x

2

People Attended

41

36

24