Day 4 Stats -- Hillbilly Hall

Day 5 Location: Larry’s Euro Bar (LEB), 965 New York Ave Trenton, New Jersey 08638

Day 4 Statistics from Hillbilly Hall, Hopewell, NJ:



For tonight’s TDDoC activities a brand new place is selected. Hillbilly Hall comes highly recommended by Pods as it was one of his old hangouts when he lived in Montgomery. To get there one is suppose to drive into Hopewell then make a turn down a dirt road that begins climbing high up into the mountains of Central Jersey. Following this road there are many deer, bear, elk, and other critter sightings. Hillbilly Hall is suppose to have a wide selection of critters on the menu such as possum, venison, muskrat, rabbit and other such vittles. Finally after what seemed like a 40 mile drive Hillbilly Hall is reached at the mountain top. Thankfully it was well lit and easy to find.

I enter the bar to find Tamps and Rebecca already there. Apparently the gas lines haven’t reached up to Hillbilly Hall and the oil trucks can’t make the mountainous climb because this place has no heat. It is freezing in the place. Tamps gets a fly in his beer which was to be expected since one of the reviews of the place warned to bring a flyswatter. The bartender brings Tamps a new beer and states that is was odd since it’s rare to see a fly in the bar. Tamps notes that he’s not surprised considering the prices they charge. The usual TDDoC crowd begins to arrive; Ska, Cole, Scugi, Sophia, Gman, Su. Most order some food and it is quickly noted that perogies are a specialty here and have been seen on the daily special board at every TDDoC location so far this year. Perhaps, we’re doing the Twelve Eating Days of Perogies (TEDoP). But the perogies will have to wait one more night. I had the chili which was quite good and Tamps graciously held off telling the chili joke until I finished. Reese, Celeste, and Celeste’s friend David arrive a little later.

Hillbilly Hall is a place that seems to be searching for an identity. It’s trying to be a country bar, a biker bar, a redneck bar, and just a family restaurant. OK, so it’s not trying to be a family restaurant as the sign entering the place says anyone under the age of 21 will be shot on sight. IDs will be checked, no exceptions, you know who you are. Somehow I’ve got the feeling that this policy is left over from the era when Pods hung out there. Tonight it’s trying to be a country place. It is line dancing night from 7 to 10 so they are playing both types of music, Country and Western. The average age of the line dancers is 78, making our group feel like a bunch of kids. Many of our group are interested in joining the line dancing until it is revealed that there is an admission fee of $4 to enter the dance floor. The bartender is pleased that we stay at the bar and she notes that if we weren’t here there would be no customers at the bar at all. She’s right. A little later one of the line dancers walks behind the bar and mixes her own drink while the bartender was off somewhere else. Sophia happens to be watching this and wonders if it is OK for anyone to serve themselves. She is eyeing the bottle Maker’s Mark bourbon and notes that it isn’t even behind the bar but on top of the bar on the other side. She could just walk over and pour her own drink. Fortunately, the bartender soon returns and the self-serve bar policy doesn’t need to be tested.

Reese and David both grew up in Lynchburg, Virginia and both were members of the same Catholic Church. Small world. Apparently they may have been the only two Catholics in the whole city. Meanwhile, we Italian boys from Jersey noted we didn’t know anyone who wasn’t Catholic growing up. Oh, and David’s name really isn’t Sneakers O’Toole. When I heard that yesterday it just sounded made up.

Other topics of conversation included the TDDoC email list, vacationing in western states, new rings, incompetent UPS drivers, guns, the Pulitzer Prize for stats writing, bathroom decorations, etc. This group really has a wide variety of interests. I’m told the ladies room had a short winking Santa inside while the men’s room had a hillbilly helmet vending machine.

Notably absent were the Emans. Apparently the PA chapter event was more intriguing than going to the Hillbilly Hall. Also absent was CPL. Now I’ve been coming out to TDDoC regularly for the past 4 or 5 years and I’ve never met anyone named CPL. So I really beginning to wonder if he actually exists or if the name is just made up. Also absent was Pods. Considering he recommended the place and it was his old hangout the prevailing thought was that he would make an appearance. It didn’t happen. No stories….

At the end of the night while getting ready to leave I get approached and asked if I’m writing the stats. I say “That’s the rumor”. “Well are you or aren’t you?” “Yes I am”. “OK, put down that we’re going to Big Fish”. I say, “That’s not the way it works, we’re going to LEB.” “No, if you’re writing stats you can put down whatever you want and you want to go to Big Fish, Right, Now put it down!” I say “That’s not the way it works we’re going to LEB, it’s already been decided.” “The secret committee got to you didn’t they”. “ I don’t know, I don’t know nothing about any committees, where’s the door, I got to go, Help!” Then the plotting begins, we’ve got to get the email list and take over control on the TDDoC. Stay tuned for further development.