Day 5 Stats from Larry's Euro Bar, Trenton, NJ:
Don't know why it's so difficult to get started writing these particular stats. Larry's Euro Bar is an interesting place with such interesting people.
You get the idea. Sometimes these things are hard to capture in words, but it's hard to go wrong with a classic Bugs Bunny pic.
I arrive with some newcomers – Ani and Steve – in tow, anxious to make a WHYY call, because it's barely 6 PM, and how could Larry's Euro Bar attract any TTDoC revelers so early in mid-week, but my arch nemesis, Gman, dashes those hopes right away. I think it would bother me a lot less if he wasn't so g0ddam pleased with himself about the whole thing.
There is so much about Larry's that is cool. The variety of clientele, Polish fare, and eastern European libations are hard to find anywhere west of the Danube. But don't take my word for it; the next time you're in an Applebees or Einstein Bros Bagel house, try ordering or pronouncing "sncyzkltgrscz" and see what you get.
Our crowd is relaxed but not tired, spirited but not cranky. We seem to be getting the hang of drinking for several nights in a row, or maybe we're just tired of bickering. I miss the bickering. Sure it bothered BIG LOU – his pronouncements of our LAMENESS are the stuff of legend - but it gave me something to look forward to.
Speaking of BIG LOU, I can assure all of you that it is still possible to trek from Conshohocken to a variety of pathetic establishments in central NJ – I did it myself on Tuesday evening - so perhaps he himself has finally succumbed to the malady of LAMENESS. I hear it's a pandemic. Eman seems to have some symptoms – he missed Day 4 because of geography challenges and on Day 5 he chose Russ over Cole to guard his trek the men's room after our most favorite crazy new friend, Mike, bashed the most recent findings of the T-rex short arm theory club. We always knew that eman was not just another pretty face, but we didn't realize that he could make Sneakers O'toole look like one of the Einstein Bagel Bros.
And speaking of sneakers and bagels, the eagles are still in the playoff hunt. Well, they haven't yet been mathematically eliminated. And while that may be true, I think you have a better chance of finding the vowels in "sncyklsczt". But don't go by me – I keep thinking that CPL will show up at the next TDDoC night. Can someone remind me if Charlie Brown ever kicked the football out of Linus' hold?
So if it you weren't there last night and read this stats, you still have virtually no idea of what happened, so do yourself a favor and make sure you come on out tonight to Killarney's.
That's All Folks.
3 comments:
A little more on Mike the Homicidal Maniac:
A clearly drunk/wasted guy brushes by Russ and Sophia, and Eman remarks "Amazing that he can be that messed up and still standing". A few minutes later Mike the Homicidal Maniac appears next to Eman, sticks out his hand, and says "Hi, My name is Michael". Eman shakes his hand, and says his name is Tom. Then silence by Mike the Homicidal Maniac for about 60 seconds while staring at Eman. Eman, starting to realize that Mike the Homicidal Maniac is dangerously disturbed, breaks the silence with a "Have you met my friend Russ?". Mike the Homicidal Maniac then shakes Russ' hand. Eman looks for a place to hide. A little more silence and mumbling, and then there is something about murdering someone and really hating the government. Somewhere in the middle of that Mike the Homicidal Maniac tells Eman that he has wrinkly eyes. Mike the Homicidal Maniac then slips away, leaving Eman to wonder why his hand feels so greasy. Russ notices that his hand is greasy too and immediately concludes that Mike the Homicidal Maniac is a lizard. Eman theorizes that Mike the Homicidal Maniac's hands are covered with the same oil that ducks have on their feathers to prevent them from getting wet in water. Perhaps he is a duckman. Sophia quickly makes a beeline for a spot behind the rest of the group. Russ and Eman immediately make a decision to forego the basic men's room rule of "don't go together" because of the urgency of removing this toxic lizard sludge from their hands before the skin begins to decompose. While washing hands, Eman notices that his right hand is a diffferent color than the left.
Scugi was no longer there so it could not be immediately determined if Mike the Homicidal Maniac was one and the same as the "do NOT talk to him....don't even look at him" guy that Scugi had befriended previously.
Postscript: Despite fears to the contrary, Eman wakes up in the morning and finds that his hand has not turned purple and black and fallen off of his arm.
After Eman introduces his friend Russ to Mike, he asks again "Hi, my name is Mike, what's your name?" Russ begins to answer using his usual fake name for these type of situations "My name is Joe..." then quickly realizing we already have a Joe "...my name is Russ". Crap! Now he knows my name, this thing aint going good. After Mike left for awhile and after Sophia escaped to the safety of the larger group he returns. He just stood there for about a minute just staring intently at Russ. Finally Russ turned to Gman and said "If I go at it with this guy do you got my back?" Gman reluctantly agrees. Thankfully Mike slithers off to the other end of the bar.
A little more on Mike the Homicidal Maniac: A clearly drunk/wasted guy brushes by Russ and Sophia, and Eman remarks "Amazing that he can be that messed up and still standing". A few minutes later Mike the Homicidal Maniac appears next to Eman, sticks out his hand, and says "Hi, My name is Michael". Eman shakes his hand, and says his name is Tom. Then silence by Mike the Homicidal Maniac for about 60 seconds while staring at Eman. Eman, starting to realize that Mike the Homicidal Maniac is dangerously disturbed, breaks the silence with a "Have you met my friend Russ?". Mike the Homicidal Maniac then shakes Russ' hand. Eman looks for a place to hide. A little more silence and mumbling, and then there is something about murdering someone and really hating the government. Somewhere in the middle of that Mike the Homicidal Maniac tells Eman that he has wrinkly eyes. Mike the Homicidal Maniac then slips away, leaving Eman to wonder why his hand feels so greasy. Russ notices that his hand is greasy too and immediately concludes that Mike the Homicidal Maniac is a lizard. Eman theorizes that Mike the Homicidal Maniac's hands are covered with the same oil that ducks have on their feathers to prevent them from getting wet in water. Perhaps he is a duckman. Sophia quickly makes a beeline for a spot behind the rest of the group. Russ and Eman immediately make a decision to forego the basic men's room rule of "don't go together" because of the urgency of removing this toxic lizard sludge from their hands before the skin begins to decompose. While washing hands, Eman notices that his right hand is a diffferent color than the left. Scugi was no longer there so it could not be immediately determined if Mike the Homicidal Maniac was one and the same as the "do NOT talk to him....don't even look at him" guy that Scugi had befriended previously. Postscript: Despite fears to the contrary, Eman wakes up in the morning and finds that his hand has not turned purple and black and fallen off of his arm.
Post a Comment