Americana Diner
359 Rte 130 North (Off the North-bound lanes)
East Windsor, NJ 08520
Day 10. Finally the days are getting longer. You can tell because the sun rises a little earlier or sets a little later. And thankfully we are nearing the end of 2008 edition of the TDDoC. My wife will be thrilled not to wake with a headache nearly every morning – no, she doesn’t drink – she sleeps next to me, and I’m not the darling at home that you see on these nights. Soon all the pageantry will be but a memory as we look forward to X-mas and the New Year. There will probably be no TDDoMLK this year – there never is. It’s all talk. It’s always been like that. No, the best we can hope for is a 6 AM Groundhog Day start at the Grey Lodge Pub in NE Philly. Ahhh – that’s what we need. A goal. Something to focus on and keep us moving in the humdrum of a cold winter.
Ladies and gentlemen and BIG LOU. Last night at the Tir Na Nog, we had a lively crew in what has been reputed as the finest Irish Bar in NJ. And how do we know this? It says so on their website. Not that you should believe everything you read, but why would they lie? In attendance, in no particular order, was Jana, Felicia, D-mile, Laura, Pam, Tamp, BIG LOU, John the Mechanic, Russ, Gman, Scugi, Yo, Rich, Pods – yes, the one and only Pods – Milot, David (Felicia’s husband), Cole, Goettle, and the one of our most distinguished attendees ever, E-man on a Straw.
Tir Na Nog is apparently more than 3 blocks away from the crack dens of Trenton or I’m sure we would’ve seen one CPL – at least between hits on that pipe of his. Tir Na Nog is owned by Billy Briggs, who passed away but a few months ago, and though it is around the corner from where Gman grew up, he had never ventured inside. And G-man can’t use the “they were closed on X-mas” excuse, because Tir na Nog opens at 11 AM on X-mas day. Santa needs a place to unwind after that whirlwind gift-giving trip he takes every year.
E-man on a Stick has some stiff competition in the points category. Last night we had “E-man on a Drinking Straw”. Take a look at the virtually identical photos below – I can’t tell one from the other. Can you? E-man on a straw was a big hit with the ladies, and rumor has it he is actually e-man on a stick after spending a weekend with a certain Day 9 female stats writer. She was quite insistent that I not reveal her name, as she is contemplating life in a convent.
One of the surprising and more disturbing conversations from the evening was the discussion between Yo, Russ, and G-man on who’s hotter – Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, or Barbara Bush (our president’s mom). Things got rather heated as each of these gentlemen prepared to go to great lengths to defend his lady’s virtue and beauty. I think that we need BIG LOU to be final arbiter on this weighty matter. Me – all I can think about when I picture those three is some hot, lesbo action. Chivalry is far from dead in Trenton.
Jana and Felicia are going to be incredibly disappointed if Chaty does not reprise his rendition of Humpty Dance – must be all those rehearsals keeping him away from Days 8 & 9. That, or he found more interesting people to hang out with.
When was the last time Milot kept his eyes open for a flash photo? Has this ever happened?
Of course we can only hope that e-man’s private jet can find a suitable landing sight near Americana – though perhaps e-man and goettle will spare all of you a redux of “Darlin Nikki”. For those of you have put this lowest TDDoC moment ever in the past, here is a little reminder. Maybe this year the girls – and you know who you are - will have the ba11s to complete the entire song with e-man, so I won’t have to get up on the friggin’ stage.
I knew a girl named nikki
I guess u could say she was a s_x fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturb@ting with a magazine
She said howd u like 2 waste some time
And I could not resist when I saw little nikki grind
She took me 2 her castle
And I just couldnt believe my eyes
She had so many devices
Everything that money could buy
She said sign your name on the dotted line
The lights went out
And nikki started 2 grind
Nikki
The castle started spinning
Or maybe it was my brain
I cant tell u what she did 2 me
But my body will never be the same
Her lovin will kick your behind
Oh, shell show u no mercy
But shell shonuff shonuff show u how 2 grind
Darlin nikki
Woke up the next morning
Nikki wasnt there
I looked all over and all I found
Was a phone unmber on the stairs
It said thank u 4 a funky time
Call me up whenever u want 2 grind
Oh, nikki, ohhhh
Come back nikki, come back
Your dirty little prince
Wanna grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind
{backwards at the end...}
Hello, how r u? Im fine. cause I know
That the lord is coming soon, coming, coming soon.
Last night was not only Day 10 of the TDDoC but also marked one of the holiest days on the drinking calendar. It was Festivus Eve. I hear Ska couldn’t make it out last night because he was pole shopping and completing his year-long preparations for the Great Feats of Strength portion of the program. Festivus is that special day where you get to air all your grievances and tell the folks closest to you how disappointed you are in them. Of course, for BIG LOU, it’s just another day to let us know how lame we all are. So for those of you who can’t make it to Americana tonight, I hope you have your pole or at least have BIG LOU’s list of establishments which are known to have Poles on poles.
The points totals:
Adam 1
Amato 1
Andrew 1
Arounkone 1
Art N 1
Big Lou 4
Bill H 1
Billionaire Pat Worth 1
Blair 1
Bobo 5
Brandy (BPW wife) 1
Brendan (BPW friend) 2
Brody 1
Chris Bode 3
Chuck de Palma 1
Cole 10
Paul Conway 2
Conway brother in law Roger 1
Conway niece Ann 1
Conway sister in law Joan 1
Conway wife Jean 1
CPK 1
CPL 2
Danielle 1
Danwebster 1
Dave (Felicia's husband) 1
Dave Peterson 1
Dmile 4
Donna 6
Dorian 7
Earl (Tamp Friend) 1
El Chorba 1
Eman 7
Eman on a stick 1
Eman on a straw 1
Eric T 3
Felicia 7
German Micheal 3
Gina (Big Fish Barkeep) 2
Gman 10
Goettle 10
Heather (Judd wife) 1
Jag 3
Jana 3
Jason 3
Jeff T (Tamps friend) 1
Jeremy V 2
Jim Judd 1
John (Chorba work friend) 1
John "The Mechanic" Fallon 2
Julian 3
Julie N 1
Kaden 1
Karen (Chorba work friend) 1
Katherine 3
Kurt (Bobo neighbor) 1
Larry (NCP) 1
Laura 6
Lisa Eman 4
Lori (Cole Wife) 1
Lou D 3
Marissa (Felicia friend) 1
Marissa's twin sister 1
Mary T 1
Maureen D 2
Mel Farris 1
Mertz 5
Michele D 1
Michelle (Chorba work friend) 1
Mike C 1
Milot 7
Mosso 9
Mrs Scugi 2
OJ Marc 4
No Job Rob 1
Pam T (Tamps friend) 2
Pods 1
Polo 1
Randy 7
Rich T (Tamps friend) 2
Rose 1
Ryan G 4
Scugi 5
Sean (OJ Marc friend) 1
Sharon A 2
Sharon H 4
Ska 6
Steve (OJ Marc friend) 2
Stu 1
Su 7
Tamp 10
Tommy (Wendy friend) 1
Trent Eman 3
Uvegas 2
Wendy (Chorba work friend) 1
Will T 1
Yvette G 5
Yo 2
No comments:
Post a Comment