Monday, December 22, 2014

Day 8 Stats -- The Millennial

It is Day 9.
Princeton Pub Crawl
Starting Location (5:30 or 6:00 PM, whatever)
Mediterra
29 Hulfish Street
Princeton, NJ 08542
609/ 252-9680

Wait for the sign and all prisoners will be released into the YANKEE DOODLE TAP ROOM

Yankee Doodle Tap Room
10 Palmer Square East
Princeton, NJ 08542
609/ 688-2600

Other locations as appropriate.



Day 8 Stats - First and Ten Sports Pub:

Wow, golly. I thought I was grown up when I was allowed to start drinking in front of my dad at 19, but here goes my very first set of stats for The Twelve Days. A daunting task, but I'll do what I can...

"Sure," I said, when the Dad-You-Know-As-G-Man asked me if I wanted to be dragged again to a sports bar to drink beer on his dime. I sighed, groaned, and reluctantly followed him to the veritable paradise of sports and beer that awaited me this evening. We arrived at approximately 6:10 PM, and were greeted by a dim blue light and a raucous applause at my arrival. The party could start now.

From the very beginning I knew this night was going to be a wild ride when Sophia offered the table some proclaimed-to-be-mediocre Caesar wings. Caesar wings? Adventurous, but being a buffalo kind of guy, and wanting to save room in my tiny body for beer, I declined and allowed G-Man to suffer in mutual recognition of mediocre wings with Sophia. Bullet dodged. This is a roller coaster.

The E-group watches on in solidarity as the G-Man continues to side-eye the bits of meat left on Sophia's wings. The E-man was wearing what I'll admit was a pretty "dope" by my millennial standards, a cross-hatch patterned sweater. I see you, dude. Nice!

Lisa told us a story about doing team-building at work, that got me thinking some. The team-building activity was that everyone had to tell a story from their childhood that affected them, and this led to people telling sad stories. The thing about an this kind of activity is that you can convey whatever you want to convey to people since most people have all kinds of stories, and we all agreed that anyone could simply lie in these stories.


Soon after, BPW arrives, and I don't remember this person from before because my brain is always only swimming with Sponge Bob jokes, Bop-It™ commands, and social media anxiety. But after re-meeting him and talking about school with G-Easy G-Daddy Pops, he vanishes to the bar like an enigma into the night, leaving me only to make awkward eye contact with him from the table sometimes later.

At some point, my sandwich arrived, and I'd be remiss not to praise the First and Ten's Buffalo Chicken sandwich. A savory chicken with zesty sauces to sate my need to spend my dad's money. I noted that G-Duck was sharing his sandwich with Bill, who is ~*~an islander~*~. Did Trent eat a full sandwich by himself? I look down at the second half of my sandwich and I feel my virility and my social grip slipping through my fingers.

BPW returns and proceeds to try and tell me that he's a billionaire, the illuminati are real, and that dreadlocks are the spawn of Satan, and all of the proof was online. These were all things that I already knew though, so loosing my patience with him I turned back to talk with those at the table. G-Money told me that a girl at another table had been eyeing me. After confirming which girl, I proceeded to go in for the kill only to find that the guy at the table was her boyfriend. We couldn't have left faster after that.

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