Day 4: "Airing of the Grievance"

Day 5 Locale: Olde Nottingham Tavern in Hamilton Square. Address is 9 Mercer St, Hamilton, NJ 08690 (see Note 1)

Let me just start out by saying, I have got a lot of problems with you people. All I hear any more is complaining, and now, you have me doing it.

"I don't want to go there." "That (This) place $ucks." "I have heel spurs." "My girlfriend is too nice." "I don't like Goettle." "Why don't we go to strip clubs?" "The President is a war-criminal." "My parole officer hates me." "Sling shots are illegal" "Governor Corzine has a bad haircut" "I miss Polo."

Okay, that last one is completely understandable. As for the rest of it, let me quote one of my favorite philosophers: "You people sicken me."

In short, we $uck. I think all of us need to be a little tougher. There is a lot pain in this world, and collectively we don't have a lot of it. Please keep that in mind.

Or else, I might just take a hostage. And waterboard someone. I learned how to do it from my neighbor. I think he is NSA. Speaking of waterboarding, did you hear this one? Senator Kit Bond, from some state that is even lucky to be in the union, claimed that waterboarding is very similar to swimming. Hmm. Now I have been swimming since I have been three. And I recently learned how to waterboard someone. So I was thinking -- waterboarding is a technique that uses controlled drowning to cause severe stress to someone. Swimming is a collection of techniques used to traverse water in order to avoid drowning with minimal stress. These things sound like complete opposites! Conclusion -- SENATOR BOND IS A HORRIBLE SWIMMER.

By the way, Day 4 was at the City Streets Cafe located in the town of the TDDoC Conception, East Windsor, NJ. Apparently the first arrivals showed up about 530 PM. Arriving separately, one of these, Mertz, could not make the obligatory "Why?" call as he had no one's cell phone number. Alli, on the other hand attempted to the call to Eman, but suddenly realized she was not drinking alone and was in fact sitting next to Mertz. Clearly, Alli was not drinking alone. She was drinking with Mertz. It is not clear which is preferable.

City Streets is a great place to hang out with family and friends, have a cocktail or beer, and argue. However, I do think everyone had a good time and attendance was great. This despite the fact that no one from Pennsylvania showed up.

And let me say a word about that. It needs to be said that while there has been an inordinate amount of bickering this year, the Pennsylvania crowd has been exceptionally whiny. Listen hear: We don't care that you moved to Pennsylvania. We don't care that you don't like New Jersey. Stop trying to convince yourself Pennsylvania is so great by trying to convince the rest of us that Pennsylvania is so great. Look, New Jersey is a strange and wondrous place, but it isn't for everyone. Sure we pay a little more in property taxes, but we have schools here that actually teach people to read and roads that are cleared in just hours after a major snow storm instead of days. But that is just us. We know you are there and we wish you the best. But stop with the whiney little girl thing before I send Yo over there to start shooting up the place with his pistol (or sling-shot, his choice).

Which brings us to Note 1: The Day 5 locale will actually be at Isaac Newton's in Newtown, or Isaac Newtown, or something. The address is 18 South State St Newtown, PA 18940 (215) 860-5100
www.isaacnewtons.com
So shut the eff up.

Continuing, at some point in the evening, I am asked by Roy O "How do you guys decide what places to go?" Now I recall from my days back at Lockheed that if Dr. Roy asked you a question you better have the answer, or there would be retribution. I didn't really have a good answer. And Roy said thank you and kicked me in the shin.

The TDDoC has become ungovernable with its current guidelines, much the way these United States of America were under the Articles of Confederation (that is what the current US Constitution replaced for you folks who went to the Pennsylvania public schools). I'm calling for a constitutional convention to iron all these things out. I'm just afraid there isn't a James Madison among us who is up to the task of writing it. I will pray for the best, however.

I then encountered Billionaire Pat Worth who showed me twenty-dollar bill that he claimed he obtained by somehow selling Brandy's children, and possibly Brandy. We often wondered how Pat came into his money. Apparently he is a slave trader. Who knew? Then apparently sensing my pain from my earlier discussion with Roy, Pat kicked me in my other shin.

The evening wound down around 10 PM or so, with a number of us talking to a nice lady from western Kentucky named Iris. Cool accent.

God Bless the TDDoC. Faithfully, Joe Ska.

Day 4 Players:
Billionaire Pat Worth
Millionaire Brandy
Caitlyn (Brandy's; I hope I have spelled correctly)
Mini-G (Also Brandy's)
Roy O
Milot
Dmile
Chaty
Steve (New Guy! Friend of Chaty)
G-man
Su
Cory
Julian
E-man
Trent
Lisa E
Stu
Tamp
Ska
Rose
Mertz
Big Lou
Yo
Alli
Jeff
Goettle
Kentucky Iris

Points total:
Eman 4
Ska 4
Gman 4
Su 4
Goettle 4
Bobo 3
Tamps 4
Donna 3
Yvette 1
BB 2
Pods 2
Tmac 1
Julian 2
Scugi 1
Mrs. Scugi 1
CPL 1
Big Lou 3
Uvegas 1
Nancy HP 1
Milot 3
DMile 2
Mindy 1
Dino 1
Jeff 2
Chaty 3
Lisa Eman 2
Trent 2
Billionaire Pat Worth 2
Millionaire Brandy 2
Caitlyn 1
Mini G 1
Randy 1
Laura 1
Big Al 1
Neufeld 1
Lauren 1
Anna 1
Beth 1
Yvette(non Goettle) 1
Dorian 1
Melanie 123 1
Jennifer 1
Cairo 1
Cairo's cousin Joe 1
Tony Sal 1
Steve (Chaty's Friend) 1
Rose 1
Yo 1
Alli 1
Kentucky Iris 1
Mertz 1
CSI Stu 1
Cory G aka C-note 1