Sunday, January 11, 2015

Day 11 Stats -- Musings from Trent and Geottle


To all of my TDDoC compadres,

The Chimp, Tajny Komitet, and I are absolutely exhausted.   If you will forgive the delay, here are the Day 11 Stats totally unedited and in their raw form.  I usually don't do this type of thing.   But I just don't give a cr@p at this point.

First, we hear from my good friend, perspective Lafayette alumnus, and just heckava kid, Trent:

I’m going to give a quick disclaimer now that almost all of the following is from the Gman-Eman family table.  That’s where I stayed for most of the night because standing takes, ya know, exercise.

Honestly, as I write these, I’m not even sure if I’m supposed to be writing stats or not.  I was hazily assigned stats by Goettle as I left Dacey’s premises and I don’t know if anybody else was even aware of what was going on.  Besides, I was pretty much brain dead at that point- it’s hard work pretending to be busy on your phone for two and a half hours while your dad drinks countless beers and the waiter takes a fortnight to give you a soda.

So there you have it. My night at Dacey’s. I specifically remember some really good wings (I thought honey barbecue was best, and I think I’m a reputable source since I tried 4 of their 6 flavors).  I also heard that the wings were half priced, but that may have been a rumor since I didn’t bother to confirm it (I don’t pay for my meals, how else do you think my parents could get me to come to bars for 12 straight nights???). Other highlights of the night included Andrew’s strike on the bowling video game, Gman telling Andrew that Santa called him a pig and is gonna burn his A$* on Christmas, and Gman telling Su “This is the last beer. After this we are gone gone GONE gone gone.”  Meanwhile, as he says this, I’m picturing him leaving so fast that a cartoon dust cloud in the shape of a Gman will appear like a looney tunes episode. (The beer being described is the beer “Andrew” is holding above).  I may interject to say that might have been the slowest beer I’ve ever seen drank- or maybe its drunk, or drunken. I don’t know the correct terminology.

Tomorrow is day 12… of my senior year… next year I’ll be in college when TDDoC rolls around! I don’t know if this will severely hurt my point total, but it surely can’t help it.  Oh, the agony.  More on this subject will be revealed as we get closer to this time frame.  (And no, to all those wondering, I don’t have a first choice college as of right now).
See you guys all at Conte’s tomorrow.  Wait, we have to go to Wildflowers AGAIN because they don’t want us back after the Ska incident of 2009?!? (Don’t as him about it- it’s a sensitive topic and he doesn’t remember much of it anyway). How could they not wait for the best customers of the year to barge in and experience the fine dining atmosphere they’ve all been craving? Lunacy.  See you there at day 12!
p.s. sorry if these stats are kind of all over the place, it was written hours after most conventional people go to bed.

 ---        Trent

Thanks to Trent for that excellent piece.   I also received this thing from my good friend, Princeton reject (er, UPenn alumnus), and a wonderful humanitarian, Goettle.

So we’ve completed 11 days of this the 2014 edition of the TDDoC and still no respect. G leone, tamp leone, e leone, sophia loren – all ramrodding the places we’ve visited. They say they’re taking care of me. Taking care of me?! They’re kids! Did you ever think about that? Huh? Did you ever once think about that?! Send goettle off to this, send goettle off to do that! Let goettle take care of buying us our beers, our rum, our grey goose! Send goettle to pick up some young chicks to expand our group! I’m older, and I was stepped over! Sure that’s the way CPL leone wanted it. But it ain’t the way I wanted! I can handle things! I’m smart! Not like everybody says! Like, dumb. I’m smart, and I want respect!!!!

And I’m not the first. There was this kid I grew up with; he was younger than me. Sorta looked up to me, you know. We worked our way out of the street … later on he had an idea to frequent "adult entertainment establishments" to help put young women through college. That kid’s name was BIG LOU. As much as anyone, I loved BIG LOU. This was a great man, a man of doublevisions. And there isn’t even a plaque, or a signpost or a stature of him at any of these "adult entertainment establishments”. Someone spat in his drink and made him violently ill. No one knows who gave the order. When I heard, I wasn’t angry; I knew BIG LOU, I knew he was head-strong, talking loud, saying stupid things. So when he stopped coming out, I let it go. And I said to myself, this is the business we’ve chosen! I didn’t ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with our business!

Let me bring you in on a little secret. I have plans for the future. I'm gonna wipe everyone out. Just my enemies. There many things my father taught me right here, right where I'm typing these stats. He taught me to keep my friends close, but my enemies closer. You'll notice tamp leone didn't make it out last night.

Coincidence? Tell me what you really think.

OK.  That was a little frightening.

No comments: