Belated But Glorious Day 12 Stats

Day 12 at Wildflowers - Pennington, NJ

TDDoC 2007 went out with a whimper - I think most were very tired and
were grateful the end had come.

_Day 12 Attendees:
_Laura, Chaty, Debbie, Gman, Cory W, Ska, L Eman, Yo, Cory M, Mertz,
Eman, Trent, Su, Julian, Yvette, Geottle (with new cell phone), Bobo,
Tamps, Art

Twas the day before Xmas, in Pennington this time
Friggin' Conte's was closed, they won't get a dime

Day 12 finally here, we've had enough of this crap
So many hungover, so let me recap:

Day 1 brought us together, like a gathering storm
In anticipation for the TDDoC, to take it's form

At a place called Salt Creek, we spent lots of dough
And later On the Border, where Windex shots did flow

Day 2 at JoJos, an awesome pizza joint
Numerous pies were devoured, just off of five points

Day 3 flew to Al's Airport, a hole in the wall
Then to the Firken, for real food and hockey brawl

Day 4 at Nottingham Tavern, or was it City Streets?
Some of us got derailed, thanks to those stats of Pete's

Day 5 crossed into icy Pennsyltucky, the village of Newtown
Cigarette smoke was inhaled, our lungs tarred and brown

Day 6 saw the return of the King and Queen, in Princeton they did crawl
Merriment abounded o'er this eve, but alas the King had a fall

Day 7 means we're over the hump, like All Stars in need of a towel?
While war was being waged, deep inside Gman's bowel

Day 8 brought us perverted karaoke, at the Americana Diner
And the debut of the Big Lou band, what could be finer

Day 9 at Big Fish, some conversation we did carry
Can't think of a better line, almost forgot to say eff Larry!

Day 10 with the finish line in sight, at some place called Bar One
Stats are getting mighty thin, TDDoC almost done

Day 11 crossed the Delaware, to heave a Havana
In the gay old boro, was that CPL smoking a banana?

Day 12 finally arrived, Wildflowers was a good choice
Suggested by Tamps, let us all rejoice

A cell call was placed, the phone passed round
Each of us yelling Suck!!, or Eff Larry!! - how very profound

So here's to the 6 iron men/women, and their 12 point total
It's time to wrap presents, even a cell phone for Goettle!

But all good things come to an end, yes even drinking beer,
eff Larry again and rest up for next year

TDDoC Day 12 - afterthought Stats

Attendees (for all I know)
Dorian
Donna

Wildflowers at 2572 Pennington Rd(Rte 31) in Pennington, NJ, 08534. 11:30

Very useful information, none of which I wrote down, and so in the car
trying to get there all I could recall was called Wildflowers and it was
somewhere in "F**k**g" Jersey. After a spirited session of "I though YOU
wrote the address down!" with Donna, in desperation I (no, not stop and
ask directions) punched in Wildflowers in my Magellan GPS navigator, and
to my surprise, it came back with "Which one? - New Hope or Pennington?"
Reasoning tha New Hope was off limits after an internation incident the
prior Friday involving lawyers guns and money, and the fact that
Pennington was closer. Arrived at 1:45, to find....no sign of Tddoc.

No Goettle taking a thousand pictures, no Gary/Melanie unit, no CPL not
being there anyway, no BPL to mooch a drink off of. But sadly there was
no evidence that a TddoC was even there, no burned out husk of a
building, no broken bar stools, no bodies in the parking lot, no Bobo
eating, no "F**k PA" in the men's room(I assume that F**k means
"Fantastik"), no missing glassware.

So we decide to sit at the bar, and wait...and wait...and wait...for a
bartender to show up. Donna took advantage of the time to read off all
the labels on the TVs for the football games on the prior Sunday, while
I placed a "where?" call to Tamps. Tamps answers and tells me everyone
was there and left before 1:30 - I ask since when is any TddoC event
less than 2 hours to which he replies that was always the case at
Conte's - which I dispute because I recall being at Conte's until well
after 2:00 one year - of course I might have been by myself at the time
then too.....

Anyway a barmaid finally appears (apparently had to go to Canals to get
a particular brand of Whiskey for a watered down drink a patron had
foolish ordered and whose skeletal remains the barmaid set the drink
down in front of) and Donna and I managed to order a couple of Smiddicks
(Smithwicks in American) on draft from the Tap RIGHT IN FRONT OF US and
then wait anoter 10 minutes to actually get. We savored our 2 beers each
and gazed at the other poor souls who have nothing to do on X-mas eve
but go to a bar in search of that special something - Love, Meaning,
Happiness, or a coveted TddoC point - even a provisional one, but even
more hopefully a controversial one, to carry into the New Year.__

_TDDoC 2007 Final Points total:_

Eman 12
Ska 12
Gman 12
Su 12
Goettle 12
Tamps 12
Big Lou 9
Julian 8
Chaty 8
Milot 7
Donna 8
Dorian 6
Scugi 6
Lisa Eman 6
Trent 6
Mosso 5
Laura 5
Yo 5
Mertz 5
Yvette 5
DMile 4
Billy Bob 4
Billionaire Pat W 4
Bobo 4
Neufeld 4
Pods 3
Randy 3
CSI Stu 3
Big Al 3
Mrs. Scugi 3
Conway 3
Felicia (G Fam) 3
Rose 2
Millionaire Brandy 2
Jeff 2
Bode 2
CPL 2
Uvegas 2
Jana 2
Katherine 2
Big Al’s Pat 2
Liz 2
EC Julie 2
Cory G 2
C Mertz 2
Tmac 1
Lallie 1
Nancy HP 1
Mindy 1
Dino 1
Caitlyn (Brandy daughter) 1
Mini G (Brandy son) 1
Lauren 1
Anna 1
Beth 1
Yvette (non Goettle) 1
Melanie 123 1
Jennifer 1
Cairo 1
Cairo's cousin Joe 1
Tony Sal 1
Steve (Chaty's Friend) 1
Alli 1
Kentucky Iris 1
Szwech 1
Jim (Charming) 1
El Chorba 1
Chorba 1
Laura Chorb 1
Brooke (Charming) 1
Dan (Charming) 1
Hop Girl Suzanne 1
Darling Niki (Charming) 1
Ken (Charming) 1
Chuck D 1
Chris A 1
Sage 1
WC Julie 1
Robinmandm 1
Sandor M 1
The Swede 1
Joe Willie 1
The Mechanic 1
Jean C 1
Don (Emans Friend - EF) 1
Lisa (EF) 1
Jenna (EF) 1
Keith (BigLousKid - BLK) 1
Rachel (BLK) 1
Randy (ChatysBitchAssFriend CBAF) 1
Kaden 1
Colleen 1
Dex 1
Melissa (Polo friend) 1
Bernadette (Polo friend) 1
Porsche Club Linda (Bright Eyes) 1
Polo 1
Liz C 1
Danielle 1
Larry Not Crack Pipe 1
MD 1
Mel 1
Ben Mcm 1
Alexis the Santino barkeep 1
Blair M 1
Sharon (2005 Club 10) 1
Debbie (Chaty friend) 1

2007 TDDOC Post-Season Awards

Blink and You’re Gone Award – Dex, for his appearance on Day 8 at the Americana. He popped into the room, shook someone’s hand, and was gone. Point! Wait, it seemed like every night I blacked out between 8 and 10PM. Maybe he was actually there for 2 hours and I just didn’t realize.

Twelve-Pack Award – In the “That’s not news” department, Goettle made all 12 days. For a change of pace, Gman opted not to have any bodily organs removed and made all 12. So did Su, Tamps, Ska, and Eman.

Coveted Purple Moose Award – I’m not really sure what this is, and no one else is either. Let’s keep it that way.

Performance Enhancing Drug Suspicion – Su, who nearly doubled her career points in one year, while simultaneously managing an infant and a series of incomprehensible odors from the person sleeping next to her. You don’t think a person can just do this without a little juice, can you?

Rookie of the Year Award – Mosso, for a mind-bending 5 days. How he found the time to break away from his postage stamp collection, we’ll never know.

Rookie of the Day Award – The mechanic. He really, really wanted to be Rookie of the Year, and drank about 12 days worth of alcohol during the TDDOC events. The only thing was that he was only there for one night. Good start, mechanic! Need more quantity and less quality next year. Or the other way around or something. Your rookie eligibility is still intact!

Most Embarrassing Moment – I’d rather not say, but if you want more information, Goettle will be happy to tell you about it, show you pictures, and maybe even draw some sketches.

Hey, Bud, Whatcha Got Under There? Award – No one, thankfully, did any exploration into what was lurking in the dark under Joe Willy’s kilt. Or maybe someone did and he just doesn’t remember.

Most Unlikely Attendee Award – Robinmandm, for going from a simple email saying “I got dropped from distribution, can I get back on”, to a “Who the heck is Robinmandm, I can’t remember”, to a google search, to a picture, to a TDDOC career stats search, to a Princeton Pub Crawl call to her home, to actual attendance. Nice work. This kind of Christmas miracle never could have happened with 1997’s technology.

Bury the Hatchet Award – (tie) Bobo and Goettle, for peacefully enjoying a post-game meal together on Day 3 without anyone’s manhood being assaulted, and Alli and Yo, for re-enacting the famous scene of Yo drinking water at the bar and Alli asking him “What, are you a p*ssy?” at City Streets.

Most Hated Place Award - Bobo for Salt Creek Grille. Just try having a conversation with Bobo without him jumping into a fit of rage spewing expletives about the Salt Creek Grille. Did anyone else have a problem with it? Not that I know of. Do they serve food? Their web site and menu suggests so. Do they serve alcohol? I'm certain that they do. I think he might hate it because G's parking light on his truck might have been damaged by their valet drivers. Or because he hated the band even more than Eman. Or because he knew he had to get us out of there to avoid missing the Windex shots at OTB. Regardless, if someone suggests the Salt Creek Grille next year, rest assured that a hatchet will never be buried with Bobo. This just in....opening night 2008 at Chili's.

Grandma’s Home Cooking Award – Al’s Airport Inn, for serving up those microwave pierogies just like the microwave that you have at home….only hotter.

American Chiropractic Society “Don’t Do This” Award – Goettle, for risking serious neck misalignment with his insistence on always getting the people set in the picture, and then cricking his neck back at a 90 degree angle to increase the lens field of view by 0.001 degrees.

Best Rendition of a Christmas Song Sung Karaoke Style – None. Honorary Mention: Big Lou, Goettle, Eman. I’m not sure who’s monotone singing voice can be heard clearly in the video snippet captured on Goettle’s camera, but Eman surely will not be appearing anytime soon on American Idol.

Licking Something Inappropriately Award – Donna, for taking the guidelines to heart and licking Eman’s nose. Eman would have strongly preferred that Donna’s review of that particularly event was not “it felt fuzzy”, but if that’s the way that her tongue feels to her, that’s Dorian’s problem.

California 3, Crack Pipe Larry 2 – Final score of the California/Crack Pipe Larry game. Total miles traveled out of way to attend: California approximately 18,000, Crack Pipe Larry less than 1.

“How Could They Do This to Us?” Award – Charlie Brown’s on Route 1 in West Windsor, for remodeling or something during the TDDOC. DON’T they KNOW that that is our traditional Day 1 stop? Sure, it really $ucks, but it’s OUR $ucky Day 1 place.

Pass the Torch Award - Chaty, for showing some youthful vigor in returning in 2007 with a vengeance in his sophomore year and bringing out several friends in the process. Never mind that fact that the friends and his girlfriend all had the same "Why are you hanging out with these old losers?" look on their faces. Chaty didn't care. It's amazing how youthful he is considering that he was born in 1964 like many of us.

Tell It Like It Is Award – Graffiti was observed on the men’s bathroom stall wall in Isaac Newton’s that said “F*ck PA”. You can’t tell me that wasn’t from someone in our group. You know who you are. Fess up. Someone from PA please return the favor in NJ next year.

End of An Era – Goettle got a cell phone, finally, during the TDDOC. He’s now available to give and receive “WHHHYYYYY?????” calls. You really don’t think he wanted it for any other reason, do you?

Century Marks – Ska hit 100 career points on Day 5 at Newton’s. If you didn’t buy him a beer that night, shame on you. Buy one for me next time to make yourself feel better. Gman and Eman hit 100 career points on Day 9 at Big Fish. No one has the capability to hit 100 in 2008, so feel free to forget about this for a while. If you only have one career point so far, don’t be discouraged. With a little bit of dedication you could be at the century mark in early December 2015.

Quickest to Annoy the Family Award – Eman, for being greeted at home by his wife on Day 2 with the statement “I HATE the TDDOC!”.

Nickname Proclamation – Yes, everyone wants a nickname, and everyone wants a cool nickname, but we can’t all be Crack Pipe Larry. Well, we could, but we just choose not to. However, in trying to compile the career point totals, it’s been discovered that names like Bob and Mike make it very difficult to keep track. Therefore, in the future, nicknames are going to be flying off of the shelves. Just don’t be bummed though if yours is “Tamps’ friend Jim’s co-worker Mary”. To escape that, you’re just going to have to break, steal, or have inappropriate relations with something.

Most Ridiculous 2008 TDDOC Prediction – Big Lou meets Paris Hilton at a charity benefit for house pets with chafing in their inner thighs (both sets). They stay in touch, and he convinces her to come out Day 1. She ends up attending all days, is the 2008 Rookie of the Year, and Big Lou ends up in People magazine as one of the “100 Hottest Hunks”.

This Bar Rocks, I Can’t Believe We Missed It Awards – Nottingham Tavern, Firkin’ Tavern, Katmandu, Triumph, Tir Na Nog, Fezziwig’s, Ivy, Tiger’s Tale, HOB Tavern, etc. Yes, we know that these are all better than every place that we went, and they all have better food, cheaper drinks, and more attractive people for Goettle to photograph. Except Fezziwig’s….Tamps really hates that place and he doesn’t hate anything. But we didn’t go to any of these places, so live with it. Next year, fight harder to go there. You’re probably right.

Day 11 at Havana's

Day 12:  Wildflowers at 2572 Pennington Rd(Rte 31) in Pennington, NJ, 08534– But chances are if you need this info to make it out this morning, you’re going to be screwed because these stats are late.  You can blame it on me, but I blame it on my sister’s husband – the b@st@rd had me up ‘til 3:45 AM this morning drinking and practicing karaoke, while most of you were tucked safely in bed.



Day 11 started out just like any other of these infernal days – with a bit of numbness, a small headache, and thoughts that maybe next year we ought to try the 16 Drinking Days of Christmas.


It’s more than a little disappointing that we are going to miss Conte’s on Day 12 this year.  It’s kinda like finding out Meccais closed during Rosh Hashanah or that your synagogue is closed for Easter.  Alas, we must endeavor to persevere.  We must make due.  We must come up with Plan B.  And so we have.


Day 11 for me began with an early dinner at Conte’s with Scugi, Maria, and Yvette.  No doubt, Scugi will soon be lobbying for Day 11 points, even though he did not make it to the appointed location, New Hope’s Havana’s, just across the river from Gitmo – rumor has it the waterboarders like to hold their X-mas party there.


I arrive at Havanaand forgot to bring my lawyers, guns, and money, but luckily there’s an ATM machine there that charges $1.00 for every $10.00 you take out.  But prior to the ATM visit, I spy E-man at the outside bar with Dorian and Donna.  Poor E-man.   He looks like he’s been drinking all month – hmmm, maybe he has.  Despite Donna and Dorian’s best efforts to amuse and entertain him – Donna had Dorian in a box and was sawing him half lengthwise (anyone can do it across the body) - the toothpicks propping E-man’s eyelids open kept breaking like in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.  Even our curvy, young, supple, blonde bar tenderess, parading topless behind the bar to and fro, could not penetrate his numb, blank stare.  Perhaps, E-man was up all night in anticipation of hearing his new nickname – “fresh meat” – non-stop in New Hope, because surely, by now, his karaoke photos from the Americanahad made the rounds in New Hope, Key West, and the Village.  Or was it the “WHHHYYYYYYY” call E-man received from Blair Marshall at 4:30 PM – Blair’s first night out (and it’s about friggin time). 

Whatever the reason, it’s more than a little interesting that G-man and Su scurried to the inside bar at Havana upon seeing Donna make that initial cut into Dorian, though Su was heard to say, “Gary, that looks like fun.  You should try it.  Oh, by the way, that Met Life thing is paid up, right?”  Gary’s reply was something along the lines of “Been there (last year), and done that – would prefer a different trick.”

Our Day 11 attendees were Dorian, Donna, Sharon, Blair, E-man, Ska, Tamps, Big Lou, Mertz, Art, Julie, Rose, Gman, Su, Goettle, and Yvette – gotta say it was a little disappointing for a Friday nite in New Hope.  I think that I’ll award Scugi a “provisional point” for this day and await his arguments on why it should be officially recognized for all time.  Aside from D & D, where were all the Pennsylvaniaregulars?  BB – out of town, the Swede – out of town, Pods – MIA?, Bobo – hanging with his neighborhood homeboys?, CPL – WTB marathon or date with his crack dealer, Chuck de Palma – out of town.

A few of us are smart to move inside to avoid the cover charge for the barely too loud band – but Dorian, Donna, and Sharon attempted to concoct some kind of scheme to get Havana to pay them for entry.  But we’re not so sure they thought this thru adequately, as we did not see them for the rest of the evening.  Maybe they visited Gitmo to taunt the prisoners.

The only conversation topic I can remember – the various styles of how women fight each other.  You’ve got the conventional hair-pulling and the more modern bare-knuckled punching, but then we learned about a bizarre weapon some women employ: the bizarre beehive hairdo.  Not sure if actual bees are what make this effective.  Still, no matter what the form fighting takes, it’s always best when it the participants are wearing bra and panties and a shallow pit of mud is involved.

And if I could remember anything else from Friday night, I’d share it with you.  Gotta get ready for the TDDoMLK – it’s just around the corner.


Points total:
Eman 11
Ska 11
Gman 11
Su 11
Goettle 11
Tamps 11
Big Lou 9  (not sure this isn’t supposed to be 10)
Milot 7
Julian 7
Chaty 7
Donna 7
Scugi 6 + 1 provisional point for Day 11
Lisa Eman 5
Trent5
Mosso 5
Laura 4
DMile 4
Billy Bob 4
Yo 4
Billionaire Pat Worth 4
Dorian 5
Mertz 4
Pods 3
Bobo 3
Randy 3 
CSI Stu 3
Big Al 3
Yvette 4
Mrs. Scugi 3 + 1 provisional point for Day 11
Conway 3
Felicia (Gman Family - GF) 3
Neufeld 3
Rose 2
Millionaire Brandy 2
Jeff 2
Bode 2 
CPL 2
Uvegas 2
Jana 2
Katherine 2
Big Al’s Pat 2
Liz 2
Tmac 1
Lallie 1
Nancy HP 1  
Mindy 1
Dino 1  
Caitlyn (Brandy daughter) 1
Mini G (Brandy son) 1 
Lauren 1
Anna 1
Beth 1
Yvette(non Goettle) 1
Melanie 123 1
Jennifer 1
Cairo1
Cairo's cousin Joe 1
Tony Sal 1
Steve (Chaty's Friend) 1
Alli 1
KentuckyIris 1
Cory G aka C-note 1
Szwech 1
Jim (Charming) 1
El Chorba 1
Chorba 1
Lil' Chorb 1
Brooke (Charming) 1
Dan (Charming)  1
Hop Girl Suzanne 1
Darling Niki (Charming) 1
Ken (Charming) 1
Chuck DePalma 1
EC Julie 2
Chris Allen 1
Cory Mertz 1
Sage 1
Julie (WC) 1 
Robinmandm 1
Sandor Metler 1
The Swede 1
Joe Willie 1
The Mechanic 1
Jean C 1
Don (Emans Friend - EF) 1
Lisa (EF) 1
Jenna (EF) 1
Keith (BigLousKid - BLK) 1
Rachel (BLK) 1
Randy (ChatysBitchAssFriend CBAF) 1
Kaden 1
Colleen 1
Dex 1
Melissa (polo friend) 1
Bernadette (polo friend) 1
Porsche Club Linda (Bright Eyes) 1
Liz Clancy 1
Danielle 1
Larry Not Crack Pipe 1
MD 1
Mel 1
Ben Mcmichael 1
Alexis the Santino barkeep 1
Blair Marshall 1
Sharon1 (made Club 10 in 2005)

Day 10: "OOHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Day 11 will be at Havana's.


Day 10, Santino’s Bar One, the newly annointed Robbinsville, NJ


 
Bar One?  What does that mean?  Maybe it means that this is the best bar in the world, Bar None, and the N fell off the sign.  OK, maybe not.  Perhaps it is owned by former co-worker Seth Baron, and he just added the E on the end to make the ziti seem more authentic.  Arumor exists that the Bar One phraseology is a play on words, with somebody’s name being Barone.  I think the Barone guy is Japanese or Ukranian.  OOHHHHHHHH!!
 
From Scugi:  Scugi has definitely replaced Sniffy as he has been first in 3 nights this year.  Santino's very quiet, he takes seat on far side of the bar with view of all plasma's, orders up a happy hour lite beer for $2 + 0.25 tax (huh, tax on beer) anyway two sips in and one of the worker bees comes over and tells me "you might want to move, we are expecting a party of 35 people" Scugi replies, "I've got 35 coming too" he says maybe it's you and walks away, then comes back and says are you Goldberg, he says no, we are Day 10 of the TDDoC, he looks confused and leaves.  Scugi finishes his beer and moves to the second (and now primary) location of the night, hence the field of view to any TV is non existent.  
 
From Eman:  Moral of the story:  If anyone asks you if you are Goldberg, say “Why, Yes, I’m Goldberg”.
 
The delightful residents of RobbinsvilleNJhad just successfully months earlier voted to change the name from the uniquely distinct WashingtonTownshipto Robbinsville.  Now this wasn’t a run-of-the-mill George Washington memorial.  Nope.  The township was actually named after Leon Washington, the star third-string running back of the New Yorkfootball Jets.  Apparently, though, the township, which was once a Jets fan stronghold, has been overrun by yuppie residents who are fanatic about world-champion fencer Tanner Robbinsville.  Robbinsville residents Ska and Mosso beamed proudly at the bar, strutting around like a couple of barnyard roosters, telling all attractive young women, “I’m from Robbinsville”.  As a matter of fact, at one point, Ska was seen by the large window with Chaty, clearly giving him visual arm-waving directions in the direction of his house.  A little lip-reading revealed that Ska was mentioning his big soft warm couch, 57-inch TV, impressive collection of Beer of the Month (BOTM) club entrees from 2001, and his newly-installed toilet in the foyer.  No, not near the foyer, but actually IN the foyer.  Chaty was clearly very aroused but elected to wait for a better offer.
 
From Scugi: Donna and Dorian show, Dorian orders $2 beer, Donna gets shot of Cabo Wabo and a mixed drink, Dorian gets $4 back from a Twenty.  A few minutes go by and she hands him a Ten and he says "not even close".
 
Big Al reports that the lobster corn dogs on the menu are not all that good.  Imagine that.  I don’t even know what that means.  Do you cut open a hot dog, stuff it with lobster, and then jam that whole thing into a hollowed out corn cob and then fry it and put it on a stick?  Then I thought to myself, maybe I could figure out this difficult dilemma by utilizing that newfangled internet thing.  Well, if you’re in your kitchen right now, check this out:  http://fooddownunder.com/cgi-bin/recipe.cgi?r=152344  Please cook one up and let me know.  I’ll be over at lunch.  Anyway, my theory is that Joey Santino forgot to add the ol’ tamarind ketchup to complete the dish.
 
After I had been there for awhile, I discovered that apparently I was the only one that Scugi had not “shown the meat” to.  “Showing the meat” apparently involved Scugi taking you on a tour into the back room for a special viewing experience.  Well, let me just tell you, after the scandalous Goettle affair from Tuesday night, and with Scugi and Goettle both sharing the same first name, Peter, one that has at some points in the past been used as a term for certain meat-like objects, I was not going to participate.  If anyone was “shown the meat” inappropriately, please report all concerns here: http://tddoc.blogspot.com/  or contact your local authorities as appropriate.  Or write stats.
 
Billionaire Pat Worth had clearly never been to Santino’s before.  It’s been called by some a bit pricy.  OK, It’s flippin’ expensive.  He opened up a tab and freely encouraged his TDDOC friends to let him buy them one.  A clearly noble move in the true holiday spirit of giving.  We hope to see Millionaire Pat Worth out again tonight.
 
At some point, the door opened, and a big gust of wind rushed in, carrying leaves with it.  Then there was a large puff of smoke and bright lights through the haze.….three silhouettes appeared.  Music blared…..heads turned…..could it be……Britney Spears?  No, even better!  It was the 2007 inaugural appearance by MD, Melanie, and Larry Not Crack Pipe.  No, I didn’t say Crack Pipe Larry.  I said Larry Not Crack Pipe.  This Larry is everything that Crack Pipe Larry is not.  He likes to go out with his friends, hates Tony Danza with a passion, does not even own a vacuum cleaner, and I’ve got to believe that given the opportunity to write stats, would do them in a timely manner.  Just when you were starting to get worried that 2007’s pictures would not include the obligatory 429 pictures of Gman and MD pressing cheeks with hearts dancing above their heads, MD rides in to save the day.  Unfortunately, Goettle was unprepared and had to run to the local CircuitCityto pick up 12 additional memory cards.  By the way, if you’re ever near Goettle’s house, stop by.  Check out the wallpaper in his basement.  It’s a repeating pattern of MD/GMan love head pictures.  The lighting is low and there’s a peculiar odor.  It’s quite the sight to see.  No need to bring tissues if you have a cold…..there are plenty in the room.
 
Melanie quickly adopts a strong fondness for one of the employees, a fine young boy toy with six pack abs and a very positive attitude about life.  She vows to make close friends with him, but doesn’t have time tonight and vows to return soon to do so.  OK, this is a total lie….she hated him and vowed to start a fight with him.  I did remind her that the TDDoC guidelines do highly encourage “mean-spirited fisticuffs”.  Cooler heads prevailed and she decided to spank MD as an alternate.
 
Please check the local Robbinsville police blotter this morning to see if Big Al’s plan to “borrow” some martini glasses from Santino’s worked out OK.  Scugi picked up a business card from a local laywer named "Seth" if anyone needs some legal help.  No word if Seth saw the meat.
 
Rookie of the Year update:  Competition is wide open right now…..still waiting for someone to grab the bull by the horns.  I think Felicia might be in the driver’s seat right now.
 
Day 10 attendees:
big al
big al pat
big lou
scugi
maria scugi
su
julian
gman
larry not crack pipe
md
mel
pat worth
chaty
ska
goettle
yvette
tamps
eman
felicia
mosso
conway
dorian
donna
ben mcmichael
alexis

Points total:
Eman 10
Ska 10
Gman 10
Su 10
Goettle 10
Tamps 10
Big Lou 8
Milot 7
Julian 7
Chaty 7
Donna 6
Scugi 6
Lisa Eman 5
Trent5
Mosso 5
Laura 4
DMile 4
Billy Bob 4
Yo 4
Billionaire Pat Worth 4
Dorian 4
Mertz 3
Pods 3
Bobo 3
Randy 3 
CSIStu 3
Big Al 3
Yvette 3
Mrs. Scugi 3
Conway3
Felicia (Gman Family - GF) 3
Neufeld 2
Rose 2
Millionaire Brandy 2
Jeff 2
Bode 2 
CPL 2
Uvegas 2
Jana 2
Katherine 2
Big Al’s Pat 2
Liz 2
Tmac 1
Lallie 1
Nancy HP 1  
Mindy 1
Dino 1  
Caitlyn (Brandy daughter) 1
Mini G (Brandy son) 1 
Lauren 1
Anna 1
Beth 1
Yvette(non Goettle) 1
Melanie 123 1
Jennifer 1
Cairo1
Cairo's cousin Joe 1
Tony Sal 1
Steve (Chaty's Friend) 1
Alli 1
KentuckyIris 1
Cory G aka C-note 1
Szwech 1
Jim (Charming) 1
El Chorba 1
Chorba 1
Lil' Chorb 1
Brooke (Charming) 1
Dan (Charming)  1
Hop Girl Suzanne 1
Darling Niki (Charming) 1
Ken (Charming) 1
Chuck DePalma 1
EC Julie 1
Chris Allen 1

Cory Mertz 1
Sage 1
Julie (WC) 1 
Robinmandm 1
Sandor Metler 1
The Swede 1
Joe Willie 1
The Mechanic 1
Jean C 1
Don (Emans Friend - EF) 1
Lisa (EF) 1
Jenna (EF) 1
Keith (BigLousKid - BLK) 1
Rachel (BLK) 1
Randy (ChatysBitchAssFriend CBAF) 1
Kaden 1
Colleen 1
Dex 1
Polo 1
Melissa (polo friend) 1
Bernadette (polo friend) 1
Porsche Club Linda (Bright Eyes) 1
Liz Clancy 1
Danielle 1
Larry Not Crack Pipe 1
MD 1
Mel 1
Ben Mcmichael 1
Alexis the Santino barkeep 1

Day 9 - Stats a.k.a. "CPL, where the heck are the day 12 stats from a few years ago?"

It was right around the time of reading the stats for Day 8 indicating that the location for Day 9 was the BF that one could feel the anticipation in the air………would this be the night that CPL narrows the gap between his 2007 appearances and those of the state of Californina???? CPL began receiving emails with the subject line “cpl appearance?”. Apathy was replaced with indifference, but being the son of an Italian mother, guilt quickly took hold and he made a promise to himself that tonight would indeed be the night that the point total would reach an all-time personal best of 2. That and he already and been given clearance the night before to attend, regardless of the location.

4:30 rolls around at Americom and Schutzie comes by CPL’s glass walled office and says…..”let’s go”. Applications were exited, laptops were forcibly brought into shutdown……………
They run to the mens’ room with a purpose……..

20+3 minutes later they arrive at the BF……circling the parking lot like vultures do with carrion….. CPL gets the first spot and races into the BF like man destined to make a “WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?” call only to find that Big Al and Big Al’s Pat were already there….no Why call required. Lot’s of hugs and a reintroduction by Big Al as to who Pat is……. During the introduction I thought I heard Al say that Pat was her husband. I wrote it off to the usual echoing din in the BF bar. Schutzie comes in, more hugs, we get some beers, we say hi to Danielle who is flying around the bar with effortless grace. Shortly thereafter Linda Neiderost (aka “Bright Eyes”) appears, invited by Schutzie from a vehicle enthusiast club discussion. BPWorth shows up and greets Big Al…..she (re?) introduces her Pat to BPW and he pauses and says…”he is your husband???” . Apparently Big Al is issuing subliminal messages to her Pat, unbenknownst to him…..There is clearly something happening here……I just can’t figure out what it is…… They move on and engage in a vigourous debate about the “reality” show “The Biggest Loser”… ‘nuff said.

Shutzie spies Polo across the bar and abandons us in favor of her and her two friends…....

Stop IT!, I mean ACTUAL friends….Melissa & Bernadette. No Nicknames for them at this point.

Yo shows, and races to the men’s room……then comes back and orders a beer and two plates of food. This cycle continues for the duration of the evening.

Eventually we all wind up by Polo and her two friends. I think by this time Katherine has appeared, Tamps, Chaty……Eman, Su & Julian (actually they stopped by our side for a minute prior to entering a booth to eat dinner with Liz Clancy. I see Big Lou, D&D(Donna & Dorian), Goettle, LisaEman, G,TrentEman, Randy,….then things started to blur a little….. My helpers have compiled the list below…..If anyone was missed, please let me know politely. Oh yeah,,,,,Mertz&Mosso(M&M?) too.
scugi, cpl, mertz, big al, big al pat, donna, dorian, e, lisa e, trent, polo, melissa, bernadette, mosso, g, su, julian, tamps, ska, goettle, yo, pat worth, randy, earl, katherine, laura, arunkone, stu, big lou, liz, chaty, danielle?
I catch myself doing the Cpt Morgan pose a couple of times…..not pretty, but Danielle makes a great CM&Diet Coke… At some point I decide to leave…..Goettle with a look of sincere panic on his face says “Dude…do you need a place to crash prior to driving home” I think back to the photo from the Americana and decide to take my chances on the NJ/PA highway system….

There was a lot more going on that what is cited here….Schutzie tried to fill in some blanks: Others are welcomed

Schutzie in right after CPL, then Porsche Linda and yo, one beer with them and Big Al and BA's Pat. BA and BAP are getting stoked up for dinner with mom and dad, would hate to do that sober. I see a wave from Polo on the other side of the bar, she is not alone. I walk over and get introduced to Melissa and Bernadette and things are just fine. They hear about the TDDoC tradition and they want to get 1 point per drink, I explain, one point per night, not one per drink. Things are fine until the "stinky drunk drunk" tries to talk to them, he virtually blows people out of their seats with the aroma. I can't let this happen and go on the defense, Polo is being euthanized (sp) by the aroma, I quickly set a pick and block his attempt, he quickly moves around to Melissa and tries to come in from the other side, I slide across their legs to block again, he comes down the middle. I get Danielle and asked to have him removed, she says she can't, he has a room there (they have rooms at the BF?, who knew, SKA?). I go back on defense and feel like I am being double teamed then Randy shows and I yank him into the game. Game over, it is no contest with us both setting picks and the girls swinging around in their seats. I have a heart to heart with the guy and tell him it is a private group, he steps back into the corner and explodes, the alcohol must have gone critical, only charred elements of his red parka remain and a slight whiff of old beer. Melissa is the president of CareersUSA (www.careersusa.com) in case one of us ever needs a job and Bernadette is with ETS (Educational Testing Services).

No freight trains in the am…..although this close to xmas, I think the Polar express whizzed by , but did not stop at CPL station for very long.
Update point totals (subject to revision if required)...Please feel free to check my math...Goettle has already posted the photos on the blog....

Points total:
Eman 9
Ska 9
Gman 9
Su 9
Goettle 9
Tamps 9
Milot 7
BB 4
Big Lou 7
Bobo 3
Donna 5
Pods 3
Julian 6
Chaty 6
Lisa Eman 5
Trent 5
Laura 4
DMile 4
Jeff 2
Billionaire Pat Worth 3
Millionaire Brandy 2
Scugi 5
Rose 2
Yo 4
Mertz 3
Neufeld 2
Chris Bode 2
Tmac 1
Yvette 2
Mrs. Scugi 2
CPL 2
Uvegas 2
Lallie 1
Nancy HP 1
Mindy 1
Dino 1
Caitlyn 1
Mini G 1
Randy 3
Big Al 2
Big Al’s Pat 1
Lauren 1
Anna 1
Beth 1
Yvette(non Goettle) 1
Dorian 3
Melanie 123 1
Jennifer 1
Cairo 1
Cairo's cousin Joe 1
Tony Sal 1
Steve (Chaty's Friend) 1
Alli 1
Kentucky Iris 1
CSI Stu 3
Cory G aka C-note 1
Szwech 1
Jim 1
El Chorba 1
Chorba 1
Lil' Chorb 1
Brooke 1
Dan 1
Hop Girl Suzanne 1
Nikki 1
Ken 1
Chuck DePalma 1
EC Julie 1
Chris Allen 1
Conway 2
Cory Mertz 1
Jana 2
Sage 1
Julie (WC) 1
Katherine 2
Mosso 4
Robinmandm 1
Sandor Metler 1
The Swede 1
Will 1
The Mechanic 1
Felicia (Gman Family - GF) 2
Jean C 1
Don (Emans Friend - EF) 1
Lisa (EF) 1
Jenna (EF) 1
Keith (BigLousKid - BLK) 1
Rachel (BLK) 1
Randy (Chaty’sBitchAssFriend – CBAF) 1
Liz 2
Kaden 1
Colleen 1
Dex 1
Melissa
Bernadette
Porsche Club Linda (Bright Eyes)

Day 10 Location: Santino's

Urban legend: CPL is working on Day 9 Stats.

Santino's Bar One

2360 Route 33
Robbinsville, NJ 08691

Features progressive Italian & American cuisine with daily original & unique specials. Santino's Bar One High offers wines from around the world as well as creative & alluring specialty cocktails. All guests must be 21 or older after 10:00pm.

Dining Style: Casual Elegant
Cuisine: Italian

Phone: (609) 223-0931

Hours of Operation:
Lunch: Monday - Friday: 11:00am - 4:00pm
Dinner: Monday - Thursday: 4:00pm - 10:00pm, Friday - Saturday: 4:00pm - 11:00pm, Sunday: 4:00pm - 10:00pm
Sunday Brunch: 11:00am - 2:30pm
Happy Hour: Monday-Friday: 4:00pm - 7:00 pm
Payment Options:
AMEX, Discover, MasterCard, Visa
Executive Chef: Mark Longo
Dress Code: Smart Casual
Accepts Walk-Ins: Yes
Offers: Banquet/Private Rooms, Bar Dining, Bar/Lounge, Beer, Entertainment, Full Bar, Happy Hour, Late Night, Non-Smoking Restaurant, Patio/Outdoor Dining, Private Room, Takeout, Wheelchair Access, Wine Bar
Parking: Public Lot
Parking Details: Complimentary Parking
Private Party Facilities: Please call for details.
Private Party Contact: Pete Rossi (609) 223-0931
Entertainment: European Bottle Service and DJ's in the Lounge Wednesday - Saturday.

Day 8 - Who Will Be the Next Americana Idol Or Please Leave E-man and Goettle Home for Karaoke Night

Day 9 will be at BIG FISH in Princeton Market Fair accessible from the Southbound lanes of Route 1.
Address is: 3535 US Highway 1, Princeton, NJ

Their website could use a little work, but the music is pretty cool.


I’m sitting at the computer typing away, Chopin is playing in the background, and in the foreground is a glass of wine, and it’s a good one. Day 8 has not even started, but already the stats are underway. This TDDoC 2007 juggernaut is really rolling, now. We got off to a good start and then slowed down a bit in the early part of last week, but now the train is motoring in a way that would make James Watt proud. (No, not the guy who was worried about the Beach Boys bringing out the “Wrong Element”. The dude who invented the steam engine.)

We’re still missing some of the fan favorites from bygone years. Haven’t seen the Other Joe (OJ), MD, Frank, Cheryl, Polo, and CPL’s business card, though some of us are holding out hope that they will make an appearance, however brief it may be. I on the other hand have a different attitude about their lack of attendance – if those punk-a$$ beot.ches don’t get their collective a$$es out for one nite, one stinkin’ nite for one measly drink, well, let me just say, “Jules, I’ll be on the mother…like a Wolf”

The rest of these stats are brought to you this morning. For some reason I can’t fathom, I woke up this morning with a sore throat, a mini freight train, and this godawful pain in my derriere. It seems I get that pain there every time I drink lots of Guinness with E-man. Gotta make a note to switch to Sam Adams when drinking with E-man. Who came out you ask? A better question is who DIDN”T come out (besides those aforementioned folks above). The attendees, in no particular order were G-man, Su, Julian, Felicia, Milot, Dmile, Liz, Mosso, E-man, Tamps, Collen, Ska, Chaty, Jana, Sage, fan favorite BIG LOU, Lallie & Dave Uvegas, Randy, CSI Stu (aka Case Cracker), Scugi & Maria, Walter “I’ll bit.ch slap you mothers” Kaden, and Goettle.

So where was I? Oh yeah – Day 8. Day 8 was nearly derailed when the revelers found out that the bar area at the Americana was closed to the public because of a private party. What the eff kind of treatment is that? Especially on karaoke night? Not only do we run up a bar bill that would make our free-spending politicians proud, we’ve got talent. Only our deep-rooted love for America(na) kept us from a full-scale riot. That and we were missing notorious tough guy rebel, CPL. Must have been the retrospective on Tony Danza’s career they were running on the WTB (Who’s the Boss?) channel. Someone please spend $24.99 and buy him a VCR, so he can tape these programming gems in the future and not miss necessary bar brawls. We’re all set to blow out of the place and head to Nottingham Tavern, CBs, or even TGIF or Theos for the amusement value, when Chaty works his magic, consults his oracle, and confidently proclaims that if we wait 10 more minutes, the bar area will be opened up to us. What quick thinking, what fast action, and it didn’t even require groveling or cajoling of the Americana staff or masterful sleight of hand. So the ship was righted and the party continued.

We begin our conquest of the bar by establishing a beach head in a strategic corner of the bar and then airdrop elite crack troops into the center of the bar to split the enemy forces into smaller groups. Then we infiltrate the remaining smaller pockets of resistance with our most daring and charming troops, and voila, we overrun the entire bar and declare victory, mission accomplished. Our surge was the right strategy at the right time, executed by mostly right-handed people. But there’s more to be done. It’s not enough just to occupy the bar. We’ve got to rebuild and repair the wrongs that have been done.

Step 1 in the rebuilding process – we get the people drinking. And the beers and drinks flowed like honey, and it was good.

Step 2 – we get the people singing.

There are about 10 more Steps which would make the total in the neighborhood of 12. Usually we only get to Step 1, so last night represented some real progress, a real breakthrough.

Can you think of a better way to bring out everyone’s “inner ham” than karaoke. Not only are we a good-looking, hard-drinking clan – we’ve got loads of talent. Sage “You Can Call Me Grace Slick” does a rendition of Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit”. Talk about 10 feet tall. And other songs, too. It was marvelous. And it didn’t stop there. Jana “Don’t You Dare Call Me Melanie Again (Goettle)” did a few with my favorite being “Brass In Pocket” – Jana’s special all right. And we also heard from our favorite new rap-meister, Chaty. Digital Underground? They don’t know “Humpty Dance”. Sugar Hill Gang? Chaty spits on all of them with a “Rapper’s Delight”.

Even the “BIG LOU Band” made an appearance doing a little thing about Santa Clause Comin’ to Town. With Big Lou on lead vocals, backed up by E-man and Goettle, the crowd went wild.

But the highlight of the night by far was E-man and Goettle singing (well, if you could call it that) the Foo Fighters cover of the Prince song “Darling Nikki“. Now, while the other singers could carry a tune and sing melodies on-key, E-man and Goettle showed how having a stage presence and connecting with the audience (or the guy standing right behind you) can be the difference between a disaster and a train wreck. “Grind Goettle Grind”. The distinction here is that a disaster is something you generally read about or avoid if you can, while a train wreck is a thing from which you desperately try to avert your eyes but cannot. You watch it with a strange fascination bordering on disbelief or denial. You think “This really can’t be happening – we’re nowhere near the Village, and Goettle’s a$$ seems to be stuck in E-man’s crotch. And E-man keeps repeating ‘Grind Goettle Grind’. Please make them stop. My eyes must be playing tricks.” But no your eyes aren’t playing tricks. And here’s the proof.



I’m sure that E-man would like to apologize to all of you for any lingering disturbing images that may have burned into your brain. And while you await his contrition, I (Goettle) will wait for his phone number and the password to his Myspace page.

Simultaneous with all of the singing, there’s much conversation and merriment. I listen with amazement to the stories of guys hitting on Ska and Dave Uvegas and share some of my own, but Mr. Uvegas spills out the whopper of the evening. You see, one time while he was in San Francisco, he went to a “club” with some “friends”. You with me so far? Well, at this “club” there was “entertainment” of the adult variety. The open-minded and always-ready-to-try-new-things Mr. Uvegas received the undivided and undisputed attention of one of the “dancers” – in fact, you might say that this bounty from the heavens above landed right in his lap. So what you say? Well, how many people of the male persuasion do you know to get a lap dance from a scantily, meretriciously clad (she)male – in front of hundreds? We don’t know wear he/she hid “it”, But you also have to hide “them”, too, as they come as a complete “package”. Something to think about for tonite. There’s been a lot of g@y stuff this TDDoC. Thank god, E-man and Goettle are straightening this thing out.

Speaking of g@y and “defending marriage”, I got a question for everyone to consider. What exactly are our esteemed politicians defending marriage from? Are they worried that if men find out they are allowed to marry other men, they will stop pursuing women? Somehow, I can’t see any of the married men I know, throw over their wives for a dude with either a clean-shaven or hairy @ss. Enough of the politics – it seems to be getting into everything these days.

And before we leave these stats, everybody raise their glasses (proverbial) to Kaden who kept his DiMaggioesque streak alive (I’m talking Dom not Joe). A little taunting and a few veiled threats about a person’s sexuality (plus some photos to back these threats up) can go a long way to getting folks out. And we had a couple of newcomers in our midst – welcome Liz and Lallie who took a break from their TV show to sing a few songs for us.


Points total:
Eman 8
Ska 8
Gman 8
Su 8
Goettle 8
Tamps 8
Milot 6
BB 4
Big Lou 6
Bobo 3
Donna 4
Pods 3
Julian 5
Chaty 5
Lisa Eman 4
Trent 4
Laura 3
DMile 4
Jeff 2
Billionaire Pat Worth 2
Millionaire Brandy 2
Scugi 4
Rose 2
Yo 3
Mertz 2
Neufeld 2
Chris Bode 2
Tmac 1
Yvette 2
Mrs. Scugi 2
CPL 1
Uvegas 2
Lallie 1
Nancy HP 1
Mindy 1
Dino 1
Caitlyn 1
Mini G 1
Randy 2
Big Al 1
Lauren 1
Anna 1
Beth 1
Yvette(non Goettle) 1
Dorian 2
Melanie 123 1
Jennifer 1
Cairo 1
Cairo's cousin Joe 1
Tony Sal 1
Steve (Chaty's Friend) 1
Alli 1
Kentucky Iris 1
CSI Stu 2
Cory G aka C-note 1
Szwech 1
Jim 1
El Chorba 1
Chorba 1
Lil' Chorb 1
Brooke 1
Dan 1
Hop Girl Suzanne 1
Nikki 1
Ken 1
Chuck DePalma 1
EC Julie 1
Chris Allen 1
Conway 2
Cory Mertz 1
Jana 2
Sage 1
Julie (WC) 1
Katherine 1
Mosso 3
Robinmandm 1
Sandor Metler 1
The Swede 1
Will 1
The Mechanic 1
Felicia (Gman Family - GF) 2
Jean C 1
Don (Emans Friend - EF) 1
Lisa (EF) 1
Jenna (EF) 1
Keith (BigLousKid - BLK) 1
Rachel (BLK) 1
Randy (Chaty’sBitchAssFriend – CBAF) 1
Liz 1
Kaden 1
Colleen 1
Dex 1