Day 3 Stats

******Correction to Day 4 Locale: City Streets along Rte 130 in East Windsor, NJ is where we will be. Repeat: City Streets along Rte 130 in East Windsor is where we will be. Address for City Streets: 510 US Highway 130, East Windsor, NJ 08520



****WE WILL POSTPONE OUR VISIT TO NOTTINGHAM TAVERN TO ANOTHER DAY****

So there we were on Monday night at JoJo’s trying to figure out where to go on Tuesday night, and e-man in a stroke brilliance, though vehemently protested by g-man, picks Al’s Airport Inn in Ewing, very near the Trenton (West Trenton?) Airport. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but really, can you trust judgments rendered after drinking more than a few pints of Guinness?

A little bit about Al’s Airport Inn. It’s old and hasn’t changed since the war, and I mean the French and Indian War, the one where then Colonel or Captain Washington got his ass kicked in nearly every battle he participated in, at least that’s my vague recollection of 5th grade history, but I would invite any corrections from more knowledgeable folks. Who’s smarter – a president who suffered defeat after defeat on the battlefield or a president who avoided the battlefield? Whoops, I digress. Anyway, I think the happiest/luckiest people in central Jersey last nite were our bartenders, as we more than tripled the usual rainy, Tuesday nite attendance, and no doubt they are in the Caribbean today sunning themselves and enjoying the bounty from our drinking and eating. And speaking of attendance, we had BB, Pods, Donna, and Bobo from PA and the usual cast of characters from NJ: e-man, g-man, su, ska, tamps, chaty, BIG LOU, BIG AL, goettle, CPL, Milot, and Tony Sal.

And speaking of eating, the Happy Hour menu at Al’s is quite an eclectic assortment of goodies: breaded chicken wings, chicken fingers, pierogies, poppers, mozzarella sticks, or waffle fries. But the post-HH menu – well, from that menu, you could order breaded chicken wings, chicken fingers, pierogies, poppers, mozzarella sticks, or waffle fries. I think Al needs to work out a few of the kinks in the food service aspect of his business - after one order of fried and wings, the kitchen had to be shut down to allow the electrical system to rest and get ready for the weekend. Maybe that had something to do with the wafts of burnt plastic we detected – CPL had been long gone by then, so we could safely rule out any colognes he was wearing.

But Al was prepared for all major disruptions in the kitchen. You see, you could also pick from basket carrying chips, pretzels, or Austin brand cheese and crackers, and this basket was placed in a strategic location on the bar – it was where any patron could reach it. With all the food offerings, it’s a small wonder we managed to squeeze in there at dinnertime. So contrary to popular belief, Al’s Inn was not inspirational to a certain Guthrie who sang about a place where you could get anything you want – let’s debunk that myth right here and now.

And Al’s Ancient Inn is famous for ghosts flitting about, though no one reported any other-worldly apparitions of the kind you might see in an old Scooby Doo cartoon.

So though the place was dumpy, run-down, a little expensive (the beers cost more than the mixed drinks), it was our dumpy, run-down place, and we can hardly wait ‘til our next visit: the no credit, pre-ride for the 2008 DTBDRHH. Please sign up early and save big $$$$ for this world famous ride along the Delaware River in late June.


An Addendum from Mr. Taddei:
Scene at the end of last night at Al's airport. Just me, Goettle, Lou and Big Al left. Prior to that, Ska, Tamps and Goettle and I we were figuring where we should go and someone suggested the Firkin Inn. Ska and Tamps decide to leave to get some sleep. Big Al overhears this and starts spewing directions (which turn out to be way off). I ask the bartender directions to the Firkin and several of the locals know exactly where it is (less than like 3 minutes away).

Firkin Inn was pretty cool - lots of Rider/CNJ 19 year old hotties and one really short chick with a huge rack - she must have been like 4 ft 10 (her head was just above bar height). Good hockey fights on TV gets the crowd buzzing. Good chomps also. Goettle and I must have stuck out like a sore thumb since we were way older than most everyone else in the place. I realize I have been there long ago when I used to live nearby (wonder where else I've been?).


One more important note:
Friends, TDDoCers, countrymen, it’s time for you to know the truth. This, the 10th edition of the TDDoC, is fraught with intrigue and scandal, and I can no longer sit idly by, while the mad power grabbers grab power. Many of you, no doubt, are unaware of what’s been going on – while you and I have been leading our lives of convenience and suburban convention, the wool is being pulled over our un-seeing eyes. It’s happening right now. The perpetrators of this plan to pool power proceed to plot plainly in front of our peepers. And no I’m not talking about the surrender of our freedoms to a government that is likely monitoring all of our e-mail traffic. However, the diabolical activities to which I refer are no less nefarious. I don’t want to use their names just yet but a I’ll give you a hint – their code names end in “man” and begin with letters between “d” and “h” but not the letter “f”. And by “between d and h”, I want to make it clear that this would not include the letters “d” and “h”. I’d give you the case of the letters, but I fear I’ve said too much already.

These dastardly villains have completed pre-planning the itinerary of the 2007 TDDoC. They’re not supposed to do that. And they are doing it in secret because they know they’re not supposed to do it. They may even be working on the 2008 TDDoC, as this message is being written and read. The consequence of this machination: they are taking away one of our most basic and cherished freedoms – our right to pick whichever pathetic central NJ establishment we goddam please. Now, maybe some of you are content not to be bothered with figuring out where to go night after night and prefer to leave it up to the so-called experts, but really, are there any experts in anything? Do the elites really know better than the common man (or woman)? Do we not live in a land where the government is by the people and for the people? Do you love America? The answers to these questions, by the way, are NO, NO, YES, and YES. Who will stand with me and put a stop to the lawbreakers? Sunshine is the greatest disinfectant and it’s time that a little sunlight was shed on the crafty cabal. It’s well-known for killing vampires – not too sure about werewolves, but I digress.

So those of you who have been on the sidelines so far this year, come out tonite to the Nottingham Tavern to celebrate your freedom to drink wherever you choose. Oh, and CPL is buying.



And now for the legal mumbo-jumbo:

Please check out the website for photographic evidence and previous days stats.
http://tddoc.blogspot.com/
You can access the website via the internet (that have that on computers now).


List of Day 3 attendees:
CPL
Ska
BIG LOU
Pods
BB
Tamp
Eman
G
Su
Goettle
Bobo
Donna
Chaty (formerly known as OJMarc)
Tony Sal
Milot
BIG AL

Points total:
Eman 3
Ska 3
Gman 3
Su 3
Goettle 3
Bobo 3
Tamps 3
Donna 3
Yvette 1
BB 2
Pods 2
Tmac 1
Julian 1
Scugi 1
Mrs. Scugi 1
CPL 1
Big Lou 2
Uvegas 1
Nancy HP 1
Milot 2
DMile 1
Mindy 1
Dino 1
Jeff 1
Chaty 2
Lisa Eman 1
Trent 1
Billionaire Pat Worth 1
Millionaire Brandy 1
Randy 1
Laura 1
Big Al 1
Neufeld 1
Lauren 1
Anna 1
Beth 1
Yvette(non Goettle) 1
Dorian 1
Melanie 123 1
Jennifer 1
Cairo 1
Cairo's cousin Joe 1
Tony Sal 1

Day 2 Stats

Stats written by Chaty.

The Twelve Drinking Days of Christmas, Chapter 2 (aka: The Cows Have Run Out of Cheese)



"What if we're the only ones who show up?" she asked. "What if we are all alone... just us. What if the others can't make it... or worse yet... what if they've found something better to do," as she puts her head down on the bar, her hair gently flowing, intertwined through her pint of Guinness and her tequila. "Now, now, Donna, take it easy," Tom reassured her, placing his hand on his shoulder as if to show her he was truly vested in this relationship. "I'm sure they're going to be here soon. They're just running a little late," he continued. "Maybe they got held up at the office, or traffic." Donna looks up at Tom, with a tear in her left eye, her only good eye. You see, it was 6 months to this day that she lost vision in her right eye during what was later described by prosecutors as a "freak skeet ball incident." But she couldn't think about this right now. Her mind was focused on the current situation. The fact that she felt betrayed by her friends whom all said they would meet her there. You see, deep inside she knew her relationship with Tom was on the rocks, and she was hoping for the comfort of the rest of the group to create a kind of diversion. "Don't cry," Tom told her, "we're in public. Just drink your tequila and I'm sure once everyone else shows up, you'll feel much better. Besides, Chaty's been here, we're not really here all by ourselves." But, he knew that wasn't going to stop her, nothing could have. He knew there wasn't anything he could have said at that moment to keep her tears at bay. You see, trying to stop a woman from crying is virtually impossible, much akin to telling a gun shot victim to stop bleeding. But Donna, who's heart was bleeding, needed to change the subject... to move on... if only for this brief moment. "Hey Chaty, what year were you born?" Donna inquired, trying to think of something to talk about. "1964, he claimed." "Golly," exclaimed Tom, "you look great for your age. Your skin is so soft. What do you bathe in? Moisturizer?" he jokes. Chaty gave a loud chuckle. The type of uncomfortable chuckle one would give when they've realized that their secret is out but can't quite admit it freely yet. "Yeah, bathe in moisturizer, that's funny... yeah..." Tom unknowingly had it half right. For the true secret to Chaty's youthful looking appearance wasn't the moisturizer he would bathed in frequently, it was the mix of herbs, plant oils, and fermented yak blood combined with the moisturizer that did the trick. It was an old family secret. And it needed to remain a secret. If Tom kept pressing the issue Chaty might be forced to use violent means. He reaches onto the bar to grab a fork, the closest thing to him at that moment and clenches it like a gladiator would grip a spear to fight a hungry tiger.

Luckily, the back door to the parking lot opens and in walks several other friends who've come drink and dine and with Tom and Donna. Chaty puts the fork down. Donna's eyes light with joy. Finally, the break she had been looking for. Her diversion has arrived. Tom just sat there with the same expression he's had all night long. Had he known he was about 20 seconds from meeting his demise, it's an almost guarantee that Tom's expression would have shown some type of change. G-man, his wife, and their child walk in and within 42 seconds of their arrival have a table, a large pizza, and coloring books. Everyone orders another round from the sullen looking bartender. Donna fights back the tears, and turns to everyone with a smile on her face and takes a sip of the sweet nectar that is her tequila. Shortly thereafter Laura walks in with that kind of effervescent charm that strikes people to say to themselves, "wow, so that's what effervescent charm is. I was always confused. I've heard the expression, but never actually knew what it was." And this was all in her plan to begin with. She would stun people with this effervescence and while they were dazed, trying to comprehend everything, she was secretly going through their pockets and taking their money, their credit cards, their medication, or anything else she could get her hands on. As she was going through Ska's wallet and pulling out the three $1 bills he has, Tom catches her. "Busted!" she thinks to herself, "how do I get out of this? My effervescent charm must not work on him... I know exactly what I have to do." So she takes her glass and smashes it on the bar, shattering it to tiny pieces. Remarkably, one of the pieces flies several feet down the bar and lands in Lou's mouth as he biting down on a slice of pepperoni pizza. Lou spits it out into his hand, thinking it's a chip of his tooth. Tom forgets all about Ska's wallet in a frenzy to clean up the mess.

Several minutes and 14 pizzas later, Tamps walks in wearing a t-shirt that says, "I (heart) Fezziwig's." The reason he showed up so late was because he was struggling to put together an outfit for the night. He was torn between the previously mentioned t-shirt or his, "I (spade) My Dog" t-shirt, or his favorite, "I (club) Crack Pipe Larry" t-shirt. Everyone got a great laugh out of this, but, the night was still young and the beer taps were still flowing and there was were still things that needed to be done. I'm not sure if it was the tequila Donna had been drinking or the cocaine that JoJo's puts in their pork roll sandwiches, but Donna told herself that she was going to fight for what she believed was the right thing to do. So, she finished her last bite of pork roll, grabbed Tom and licked his nose. She knew someone had to do it, and she knew she was the one to step up and do it. "There!" she said, "I did it! Someone needed to be licked inappropriately and now it's done!"

The conversation turns to talk of the future, to a hopefully brighter time, where things will be better, relationships will be fixed, teeth will be mended, and pockets won't be picked. "Where are we going to go for Day 3 festivities?" everyone quietly ponders to themselves. Several ideas are pitched, but, in true TDDoC tradition, it doesn't matter, we are going to where ever E-man wants us to go. There was much debate, but in the end, the E-man proclaimed that we are going to Big Al's Airport Inn (really called Al's Airport Inn) which isn't actually "in" the Trenton airport, but more so "near" the Trenton airport. Which leads many of us to ponder why it's not called "Al's Airport Out," or "Al's Near the Airport Inn." And it's really not in Trenton either, it's technically in Ewing. So, I guess we can call it "Al's Near the Trenton Airport which is actually in Ewing Airport Inn."

Al's Airport Inn
636 Near Tavern Road
Trenton, NJ 08628
(609)883-5252

See below for details. (Those who've had to take out loans from Night 1 will be happy to review the prices of Al's)

And now for the legal mumbo-jumbo

Please check out the website for photographic evidence and previous days stats.
http://tddoc.blogspot.com/
You can access the website via the internet (that have that on computers now).

List of Day 2 attendees:
Ska
Big Lou
Tamp
Dave Uvegas
Cairo
Cairo's Cousin Joe
Eman
G
Su
Julian
Goettle
Laura (Carlson)
Bobo
Donna
Chaty (formerly known as OJMarc)

Points total:
Eman 2
Ska 2
Gman 2
Su 2
Goettle 2
Bobo 2
Tamps 2
Donna 2
Yvette 1
BB 1
Pods 1
Tmac 1
Julian 1
Scugi 1
Mrs. Scugi 1
Big Lou 1
Uvegas 1
Nancy HP 1
Milot 1
DMile 1
Mindy 1
Dino 1
Jeff 1
Chaty 1
Lisa Eman 1
Trent 1
Billionaire Pat Worth 1
Millionaire Brandy 1
Randy 1
Laura 1
Neufeld 1
Lauren 1
Anna 1
Beth 1
Yvette(non Goettle) 1
Dorian 1
Melanie 123 1
Jennifer 1
Cairo 1
Cairo's cousin Joe 1

Day 1 stats

Day 2 location: Jojo's Tavern, Trenton/Hamilton NJ. http://jojostavern.com/ Great pizza, good beer, interesting characters, less home equity loans required than Salt Creek Grille. Be careful of Arty at the bar who may or may not be applying all of the Generally Accepted Cleanliness Procedures when handling food.

Ahhhhh, darkness at 4:30, freezing cold air, the sweet melodies of frequent noseblows, and inescapable Christmas music in every nook and cranny of the face of the earth....it must mean....it's time for....

Oh, wait, sorry, that's the TDDOC guidelines.

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a beer in the Princeton Forrestal Center"...that pinnacle of suburban highway corridor existence.

I'd first like to start off with a moment of mourning. Please bow head. This is very sad. It's about how Crack Pipe Larry was unable to drive the 300 yards out of his way on the way home in order to stop and have a beer with this friends. I mean, seriously, he works like 1/4 of a mile from the place, and passed within about 100 yards of the beer taps on route 1 on his way home. Look, I know that there was a Who's the Boss festival on Nick at Nite, and the TDDOC guidelines only mention that watching Alf reruns are not an excuse and don't explicitly mention Who's the Boss, and Tony Danza is very very funny, but please, please some flexibility here? Meanwhile, later on, at some point, I glance to the door, wave a greeting to Tmac as he enters, and then do a double-take. This is a Connecticut resident, driving down for the event. This now means that the state of Connecticut owns more TDDOC points than Crack Pipe Larry. That lead is only going to grow as Buffy road trips down later in the week. Right, Buffy? Anyway, rest in peace Crack Pipe.



So, Day 1, Salt Creek Grille, with the sort of California hip that just doesn't work in New Jersey, because frankly we have no idea what to do with it. I mean, it's just not enough to give us California architecture and turn us loose on it. We don't know what we're doing. They need to bring in some actual Californians to hang out in the bar with us, and train us to be cool. Lord knows there's enough profit margin in the drink prices to cover that.

Salt Creek Attendees: scugi, mrs. scugi, nancy hp, ska, tamps, BB, bobo, jeff, milot, dmile, billionaire pat worth, millionaire brandy, eman, dorian, donna, gman, su, lisa eman, trent, tmac, pods, lauren, anna, beth, yvette(non-goettle), randy, goettle, yvette, neufeld, mindy, dino

Scugi arrives first and therefore wins the title of 2007 TDDOC Kickoff Boy. Here is word for word what he told me upon my arrival: Place is fairly empty except for exceptional loudly laugh girl at back table. Peroni, goat cheese and marinara and the weekend edition of USA today, sitting on the bar, start the festival off with a bang. Nancy HP (Hogan-Perrine) is second in.. She and I start off the festivities with a rousing rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, and I climb on the bar to give a rousing kickoff speech. No response from the crowd other than a loud laugh from the back.
Back to stats author: Shame on Scugi. WHY is he there at the bar by himself, happily enjoying himself, when he could be giving someone a "WHHYYYYYY am I drinking alone!??!?!" call. Life is about opportunity. Don't miss it when it hits you in the face.

A band was playing. It was loud. It was not good. In my opinion. It seemed to be some sort of bluegrass/jazz fusion. I had this fantasy about walking over, grabbing the guitar, smashing it to the ground, and handing back the guitar neck with its splintered jagged edges. But then someone handed me a beer and I forgot all about it. I bought the band's CD the next day and it's spectacular.

Many people are drinking Peroni beer on tap. People! Doesn't it frighten you that this beer is made in Italy? Do you know what they do really, really well in Italy? I don't either, but it's not beer. I believe that there are some good wines, though, and I would really tend to label that as Italy's core alcohol production competency. Isn't drinking Italian beer akin to ordering a falafel in Japan or a taco in the Ukraine?

It was a big night for the loss of TDDOC virginity. There were a large number of first-time-ever point-getters (nancy hp, brandy, lauren, anna, beth, yvette(non-goettle), dino, melanie 123, jennifer), and the real test will be if any of these poor people come back again. Warning: It's ugly, it doesn't end well, and frankly, I'd advise against it.

Billionaire Pat Worth brought along a lady friend, and apparently they have gone through some hard times lately, as Pat is having trouble dealing with the fact that she is only a millionaire. On the bright side, though, she does like watching hockey ONLY for the fights. They fight in hockey? It makes me think of that old song "Brandy" from the seventies. I believe (I'm way too lazy to spend the 30 seconds to google it) the lyrics go "The sailors say Brandy...." and then something about her being a "fine girl". I'm not sure I picture a group of sailors calling any girl "fine", but then again, I may have the lyrics totally inaccurate, and if so, please make believe that this paragraph never existed.

In the "that's not news" department, at some point Bobo announces "I'm hungry", and proposes a road trip down Route 1 in search of food. Never mind that we are at a restaurant. No more yanky my wanky, the Bobo need food. This is a dangerous undertaking, frought with risk, as the no-repeat rules of the TDDOC dictate that anywhere we go is thus off-limits any other night. We settle on On the Border, and hit the road. OTB offers up beer in these huge goblets that are freezing cold, and frankly, way too big and dangerous to be entrusted to the care of someone who's already been drinking. What are they thinking? Bobo orders tons of food. We spot two women across the bar who seem very sad and not having fun. I decide they need shots. The bartender whips up some concoction, and of course, he's nice enough to give me one too. I round the bar to do the shots with our new found friends Melanie 123 and Jennifer, and find that actually they are quite happy and having fun, but due to some sort of lighting vortex in the bar, it looks quite the opposite from the other side of the bar. I go back to the other side of the bar, and they once again look sullen and unhappy. This is clearly a phenomenon unique to this one place in the world, as typically people look sullen and unhappy when I am talking to them, and cheerful and fun when I am away from them. Check it out sometime.....it might be a good homework assignment to go to the OTB on your own time and run some experiments. Or, have a conversation with me with a mirror nearby and see how sullen-looking you might become.

OTB road trip attendees: Bobo, Tamps, Ska, Goettle, Yvette, Eman, Melanie 123 (no particular significance to the 123, other than to distinguish her from our other Melanie, unless there is a significance that we don't know), Jennifer

Bobo also reports that the men's room at OTB smelled like a barn, and they had really good cheese soup. It's unclear at this point whether the two are related. He also believes that at some point Yvette actually had a lampshade on her head, although I'm not too sure that they have any lamps at OTB.

Perhaps as a revival of past tradition as part of Year 10 of the TDDOC, I may offer up a throwback to Year 1, when we created our own Twelve Days of Christmas song. Each day, the stat writer would offer up four suggestions, and the stat-writer of the following day could pick the one of their choice and offer up four more. Here goes:
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
-A huge bar tab in the Princeton Forrestal Center
-A missing Crack Pipe
-A splintered guitar neck
-A starving Bobo

Editor's addendum: Unfortunately most attendees were unable to enjoy one of the TDDOC's fine annual traditions the next morning, Massively Hung Over Gman. Usually this specific performance is saved for Day 12, but Gman offered up a special performance early this year while helping our friend Rachel move on Saturday morning.

Damage report. I actually don't think anything was damaged anywhere. Major disappointment. Please look to break, violate, lick inappropriately, or set fire to something as soon as possible, preferably tonight. Remember, if anyone sees it and says "WHO DID THIS?", you say, "It might have been this guy Crack Pipe Larry. He just left."

Wait, there was some sort of issue with Gman's parking light on this truck on Saturday morning. OK, I know it was one of you. WHO DID THIS?

Points total:
Eman 1
Ska 1
Gman 1
Su 1
Goettle 1
Yvette 1
BB 1
Pods 1
Tmac 1
Bobo 1
Tamps 1
Scugi 1
Mrs. Scugi 1
Nancy HP 1
Milot 1
DMile 1
Mindy 1
Dino 1
Jeff 1
Lisa Eman 1
Trent 1
Billionaire Pat Worth 1
Millionaire Brandy 1
Randy 1
Neufeld 1
Lauren 1
Anna 1
Beth 1
Yvette(non Goettle) 1
Dorian 1
Donna 1
Melanie 123 1
Jennifer 1

Day 1 location

For better or worse, here we go: Salt Creek Grille on Route 1 in Plainsboro NJ at the Princeton Forrestal Center. If that last sentence doesn't want to make you strap on a tweed jacket and smoke a pipe, I don't know what will. Let the games ensue. Day 1 is Friday Dec. 6......THIS Friday.

http://www.saltcreekgrille.com/

“Zagat Guide's acclaimed "Best Pork Chop on the planet."
Also known for its award-winning pork-chop flavored vodka.

2007 TDDoC Begins

Ahhhhh, darkness at 4:30, freezing cold air, the sweet melodies of frequent noseblows, and inescapable Christmas music in every nook and cranny of the face of the earth....it must mean....it's time for....

THE 11th ANNUAL (EXCEPT 1998) FESTIVAL OF.....THE TWELVE DRINKING DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (TDDoC)!!! aka Year 10 of the TDDoC, offering an artificial milestone anniversary that we can choose to celebrate in some neo-ridiculous way.

START DATE: FRIDAY, DEC. 7
LOCATION: TBD. Legendary traditional (in other words, really lame) Day 1 spot Charlie Brown's is closed due to repair or perhaps bandruptcy due to all of the raisin bread stolen from the salad bar over the years by Crack Pipe Larry. Day 1 spot to be identified soon.

Now for the details. For those that are new to the TTDDoC, I've included
the following Guidelines. For those that are familiar with the TTDDoC format,
you may still want to re-acquaint yourself. It's not as easy as riding a bike.

Guidelines-
1. For the purpose of the Festival, working days in which you could
drink AFTER WORK are considered "Drinking Days". (I know that the term
"Drinking Days" causes some controversy every year as it is easily and often argued
that every day is a "Drinking Day"). Traditionally the Festival begins on
the date that allows 12 "Drinking Days" to occur prior to Christmas
Day - This year it's the 7th of December. Unlike other chapters throughout the country (especially those in the greater San Jose area), there will be no special exceptions due to plant closings, postal holidays, moon/earth alignments or other such nonsense. The twelfth day of the event will as always occur on Dec. 24.

2. Attendance is scored by showing up and drinking with your friends,
colleagues, soon-to-be-friends, and assorted annoying bores. Any action to discourage someone from showing up simply because they have bad breath, poor eating manners, or are a pompous ass is severely frowned upon. This is good fodder for the stats (see guideline # 7). However, unwillingness to imbibe can of course be held as a strike against any otherwise worthy candidate.

Tradition has it that there is a one-drink minimum to be awarded a Point. Anyone on travel during The 12 Days & gathering in the spirit of The 12 Days will, of course, be considered participants if they 1) are actually drinking and 2) submit Stats. Phoning in alone does not enable point awardance but is highly encouraged to aid the home team in stats preparation. Drinking by yourself does not count, and drinking with some casual loser work friend if that loser is not involved in the larger effort does not count either. If you want a point for drinking with that casual loser work friend, you will need to drag them out to multiple mainstream TTDDoC events in order for your miserable time with
them to count. If you choose not to imbibe, NO POINT FOR YOU, however, we'd still like to see you out. Whoever has the highest Tally of Points
on Day Twelve will be awarded a coveted TDDoC trophy, and, as always, be obligated to abuse those that fell short in their quest to be the champion for their lameness. Never mind that
said trophy has NEVER been awarded. It sounds good on paper.

Far and away the most significant value of the point system is to incur
repeated heated discussions, fisticuffs, and "airing of the grievances".
Please keep this in mind and argue about points that you "should have had"
as often as possible.

3. Any adult-beverages consumed outside these events (weekends, from
the bottom-drawer at work, at breakfast.. .) is regarded as Practice for
The 12 Days and will not be scored. However, as in any hard-core sporting event, practice
is highly encouraged.

4. Events are to be held in a different pathetic central NJ (or perhaps other states, as long as they are east of the Delaware river) establishment
each of The 12 Days. Suggestions for events at further-away locations are, as always, highly encouraged, and yet, as always, highly unlikely.

5. Invitees are by no means limited to those addressed in this initial
distribution. This is an open invitation. Any stiff that you can drag out is more than welcome. Participants should also encourage breakout chapters in other sections of the country. Once again, the San Jose CA will also be in full working order. Or will it? Unfortunately, due to complications from Sarbanes-Oxley, the OJ Simpson legal trial, and public campaign for Congo the dog, the Dulles VA chapter was forced out of business.

6.Family events, work parties, watching Alf re-runs, having to "wash
your hair" that night, removal of bodily organs (aka "the kidney card", spending time with loved ones, etc. are to be
considered POOR excuses for missing TDDoC events. These may be important during
other parts of the year but during the TDDoC festivities, please try to focus on
what is really important, i.e. "Where are we drinking tonight?".

7. Which brings us to the daily Stats.

a) Stats are to be published the following day, with enough time to
prepare for that day's event (i.e. before/during lunch), by an elected or forced stat-writer. This
responsibility traditionally rotates between participants. Amendments
and/or additions to the original published Stats are not only welcome but,
in fact, encouraged (Different points of view can be awfully amusing). HOWEVER, rebuttals should stick to the general topic of TDDoC and the stats. Using the distribution list for sharing of personal jokes, "cool" newspaper articles, and/or naked pictures of one's own butt are highly discouraged and the author will be placed on distribution for every internet junk e-mail list possible.
b)The Stats have generally been a free-form record - Including, but
not limited to, the night's activities (should at least cover the basics,
where when who etc), discussion topics (politics, sports, fashion, WHATEVER),
liquids consumed (cooking/dipping oils and food condiment consumption are
especially welcome here) and any patriotic songs sung.
c)Include an announcement/proposal as to where the next night's gathering
is to be.
d)And the running Point Tally.
e)Stats are an ideal forum to introduce Suggested Topics for that night's
discussion. Throw out a topic or two you (the scribe) would like to see
tabled during the night's activities. This of course may (and likely will) be completely
ignored.
f)Stats of course need not be true!! Embellishment and downright manufacture of the details is
highly encouraged!
g) Note: Use of the word "scribe" itself is highly discouraged in East Coast chapters.

8. WHYYY?? call: It is standard for the first person who shows at that night's event to vent their frustration from having to sit at the bar by themselves like a huge loser by calling another participant on their cell phone and yelling "WHY????" into the phone, which is of course short for "WHY am I drinking alone?". Per custom, it is encouraged to then hang up the phone prior to allowing the recipient of the phone call to respond in any manner. No special bonuses are awarded for this other than the personal satisfaction of taking out your societal anger on an unsuspecting other party.

9. Contests, competitions, shenanigans: Contests such as no-repeat beer quest (not repeating a brand/style of beer for the entire 12 days), no-repeat tequila shots, drinking your drink out of another's shoe, duels at 20 paces, and of course footraces are highly encouraged.

10. Alleged celebrity sightings: Always encouraged, always highly unlikely. It is believed that there has been only a single alleged celebrity sighting in the history of the TDDoC: the alleged sighting of Lilleth from Cheers in the Main Street Bistro circa 1999. Please try for more, and if encountered do your best to engage them in either (1) drinking heavily or (2) mean-spirited fisticuffs.

11. Hard liquor of the day: The first person at the bar (or first person that cares to do so) is encouraged to name a hard liquor of the day, and all are encouraged to imbibe in said liquor at some point during the evening, be it in a mixed drink, shot, straight up, or pouring it over one's own head. Shouts of "ALRIGHT, WHERE'S THE HARD LIQUOR?" (copyright The Thomas E. Hawker Foundation) should of course accompany said activity.

So, without further adieu, clear out your calendar and load up your office desk drawer with hangover remedies!!

Final 2006 stats and awards are below:

Tom Eastman wrote:
From Bobo. Beautiful work. He's a poet and don't know it, or however that goes.

Alas, Day 12 was already upon us -

Twas the day before Xmas, in Princeton we did settle,
Not a creature was sober, not even Goettle;

Hangover's kept coming, as if in a trend,
In hope that this year's TDDoC would never come to an end;

Our merry band of revelers, however disheveled and tired,
Were mighty appreciative that they had not yet been fired;

When inside of Conte's, there was such a clamor,
This is not iambic pentameter, please pardon my grammar.

Once again beer was flowing, and many pizzas too,
As 24 of us showed up to see this thing through;

Now, Eman! now, Gman!, now OJ Mark and Stu!
On, Ska! on, Tamps! on Donna and Big Lou!

So here's to the two Pete's, with all their point scoring,
And to many days of stats that were sometimes vapid and boring;

But all good things must come to an end, yes even drinking beer,
Have a happy holiday and we'll see you next year.


After a careful auditing, here are the final 2006 totals:

2006 Final Scoring Results
Goettle 12
Scugi 12
Big Lou 11
Ska 11
Tamps 11
Eman 10
Donna 9
Other Joe’s Brother (OJ Marc) 9
Big Al 8
Gman 8
Big Al’s Pat 6
Dorian 6 (+2*)
Kimchick 6
Stu 6
Bobo 5
Mertz 5
Yo 5
Crack Pipe Larry's Business Card 4
DMilot 4
Laura 4
MD 4
Mel 4
Milot 4 (+2*)
Neufeld 4
Other Joe (OJ) 4
Rose 4
Su 4
Yvette 4
Billionaire Pat Worth 3
Colleen 3
Janna 3
Larry Not Crack Pipe (LNCP) 3
Maria Scugi 3
Sonya 3
Adrienne (Mrs Yo) 2
BB 2
Cheryl K 2
Cory W 2
Crack Pipe Larry 2
Julian 2
Lisa Eman 2
Maria the Swede 2
Polo 2
Randy 2
Rob (not Bob) 2
Roy O 2
Trent 2
Tytla 2
4 Mertz Angels 1 point each
Alice 1
Alyssa 1
Amato 1
Arunkone 1
Bennie 1
Blair 1
Buffy 1
Chorba 1
C Mertz 1
Conte's Waitress 1
Curt 1
Danielle 1
East Coast Julie 1
El Chorba 1
Erin the Red & White 1
Guffar 1
Illman 1
Illman friend Beth 1
Jeff 1
Kaden 1
Katherine 1
Megan 1
M. Taddei 1
Porsche Linda 1
Robin 1
Sage 1
Sir Nicholas of Bobo 1
TMAC 1
Tony Giacobbe (1*)
Tool 1
Uji 1
Whitney 1
assorted other Big Al friends 1

Pete Puma